Hi,
Hard Work to which I have a relationship to give my children a good education to make good people out of them however at the remains of the day one is left empty quanta costa
Terence

Terence Hale, zandvoort, Holland

In modern life we have the Poor, the Middle Class, the Rich.....and now the Business Class, of which this woman is a member. Male or Female, they are job and money obsessed, to the point that most of the human emotions, (other than extreme loneliness in a crowd) elude them. They are busy as bees, but produce no honey. Nothing beats taking a nap on the sofa, with your two toddlers, one on each shoulder, dreaming away profoundly. The Business Class has no idea concerning the really valuable things and experiences in life. The purchase price, to them, is far too high.....hundreds and thousands of hours of Time, given freely in a life lived without a portable phone, but with much love and giving.

Victor Compton, Cherbourg, France

From a financial point-of-view, the idea of creating financial assets is recent. For centuries, the tiny minority who were rich were born into wealth, and the vast majority, no matter how hard they worked, could never hope to accumulate wealth. So, yes, in that sense, work to make money is a recent concept.

Samuel Young, Paris, France

I would like Ariel back in the Magazine.It takes me ages to find her blog-but then I am pretty inefficient on the computer.It was one of the first thimgs I looked forward to reading

Geoff, Lancing, West Sussex

I generally find that people that say "If something bothers me I say something", get bothered about most things.

alex, london,

Another vote for the column to be in the Magazine. It was always the first article I read. Now I don't get to it until Thursday.1

Helen, Warminster, UK

Helen Palmer, Warminster, UK

a) Love is work.
b) Here's why: According to Gottman's 30+ years of research, 70% of conflict in couples cannot be resolved except by each individual compromising the precious set of values introduced into the relationship. Summary: you can only change 30% of the irritating aspects of any beloved's personality; the rest you have to learn to live with, as the beloved does yours.

ramsay, London,

Nah, you're treading on thin ice here ariel. You seem to be mixing / equating 'strong personality' (first parag') with being 'hard work', as tho' the two go together. They don't. And in my experience 'strong personality' people wouldn't dream of describing themselves as such ....they don't need to. But you're not 'hard work' either, you just have your own standards, and ask questions, so just relax and stop fretting about it because the 'fretting / deluded strong woman' pose can be annoying. But your questions are not annoying, more endearing, and they just seem to suggest insecurity and vulnerability.....which can be attractive to men, especially when coming from a smart woman.......which is why so many men like your articles.
So cut the 'strong woman' camouflage, you don't need it. You almost certainly could be annoying, but then who isn't in some way, but you're also sort of vulnerable and cute ariel. Accept that.
Joe

Joseph Reynolds, Edinburgh, UK

I am so sorry Ariel Leve has been removed from the colour supplement and placed clinically on line. II try not to crank up the computer at the breakfast table and have forgotten about her when I get to work. Sorry Ariel, I prefer paper to screen.

Georgie Shaw, London,

To Caitlin Moran re Amy Hidey-house
Amy is not the first young woman to use her hair in this way. My grandmother packed shells at Woolwich Arsenal during WW1. She told me that some girls would conceal a small bottle of gin in their piled-up hair and take sips when the supervisor wasn't looking. As the shift went on they would get so drunk they would slump in their chair. The other girls would push them under the long work table and move their chairs up to fill the gap. Plus ca change....

Hilary Watt, London, UK

hard work in relationships?sometimes it looks alike a desperate gesture-rescue me -'i don't want to die alone'

bendis , oltenita, romania

Without working at them, all relationships diminish.

Father Bryan Storey, Tintagel, UK

Nothing worthwhile in life is easy. So, if you're hard work, good for you, it means you're likely head and shoulders above the sea of mediocrity. And if a man isn't prepared to take on the challenge of winning a spirited woman over, then quite simply it's him that isn't worth it.

John Gregory, Cambridge,

Please please please please come back to the hard copy of the Sunday Times magazine!!!! Many many readers would agree with me that you're being marginalised here in cyberspace. Your column has been a must-read in the Sunday Times, one of the things I most look forward to in the paper. I want to read your column on sunday with the other hard copy, rather than having to hunt it out on the computer - that's not so much fun at all. Please, Sunday Times, bring the Cassandra column back to the hard copy of the magazine.

raia, oxford, oxon

Perhaps you tried to plan your coffee outing to far in advance. If you called a friend up and asked them to coffee the same day you plan on having coffee, there would be no time for multiple e-mails and text messages confirming your plans. It sounds to me, that your style is more akin to live your life in a more spur of the moment fashion. Making plans that far in advance is difficult, with this type of person <of which I am one>.......... then again, I'm still single and have been told more then once that I am difficult.

Faith, Withheld, Withheld

Ariel - Had the situation been reversed where in the spectrum
six e-mails, three telephone calls, twelve text messages would
you have thrown in the towel and said "too much hard work.?
Do I really want to reach this person?"

Bob, Boston,

There is hard work meaning, prepared to work at, which most of us are prepared to do in a relationship, and "hard work" which I suggest your male friend means, the constant ego massaging, the dealing of high levels of insecurity, vanity, etc, etc, etc.

It all gets very boring, and exhausting. Try reading the "Games People Play"

ADEN, Swindon, England

It works both ways. It,s called compromise!

Thats what Annie refers too.

Garry, Sheffield,

Six emails, three phone calls and a dozen texts to meet up for coffee is ridiculous. As posted above, if some of you have lives to lead and work to do, then don't let me stop you. It speaks of petty arrogance. To me that says: you're not important enough.

One of the first things I look for in a woman (or any friendship for that matter) is a degree of courtesy and respect for my people's time. If someone requires that amount of effort to get them to sit down to have coffee with me, I would not consider that person a friend. It sounds more like I'm trying to get a sale.

Self-important people are boorish, men and women alike.

David Navarrete, Fairfield, USA / Iowa

Annie, I quite agree. Incidentally, I'm a man who falls nicely into the 'hard work' category.

Olly, York,

I think older generations are astonished at how little we are prepared to work at our relationships thesedays. Ask any elderly couple who have been married for decades (Liz II and Philip - 60 years!) about what makes a successful long-term partnership and they will almost always say 'hard work'.

Annie, Emsworth,

Excellent .I'm also hard work

Younis, Mansoura, Egypt

“You know you’re difficult,” he asserted. “It took six e-mails, three phone calls and a dozen texts to make a plan for coffee.”

What's wrong with that?

Some of us have lives to lead and work to do :-)

fnusnuank, Gen., Switz.

“It took six e-mails, three phone calls and a dozen texts to make a plan for coffee.”

Hard work = attention needing (pathological)

Jon, North West, UK

excellent article

Younis, Mansoura, Egypt

Boy. You do sound like hard work.

Pete, Sydney, Australia