Ariel Leve
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A recent scientific study has shown that there is a particular gene, present in two out of every five men, that makes them less likely to form a lasting monogamous relationship. So, certain men are biologically predisposed to cheat. Infidelity is in their DNA.
Who is funding this study? Probably a promiscuous billionaire who got caught by his wife and thought it wouldn’t cost him as much in alimony if he had a scientist to back up what women have known for ages.
We don’t need to unravel the double helix to know men are programmed.
But if there’s truly a genetic link, I would want a screening test. Think of all the time it would save me asking questions. Where were you? Who did you have lunch with? What did you order? All potential boyfriends or husbands would be screened with the sexual fidelity test ahead of time. Cotton swabs will be flying off the shelf.
Not that I’d trust the test. It won’t be a 100%. They never are that accurate, so there’s still room for suspicion. Precautions will have to be taken. People with fair skin need a high SPF lotion and stay out of the sun to avoid melanomas. Will men with this gene have to stay out of Las Vegas?
The downside of the test would be if a guy doesn’t have the gene and cheats anyway. What does that say? Just that he’s bored with you.
Even if they got tested though it wouldn’t matter. A lot of women will overlook the results. They’ll still find a way to make it their fault. I can hear it now: “Maybe I mutated the gene and it kicked in.”
Other women will use it as an excuse to become more invested. They’ll believe they can change him. They’ll try to figure out what triggers the genetic impulse so they can block it. Since there are varying degrees of infidelity it will become a project. Is he a chronic philanderer? Or is it seasonal? Is it a one-off and he’s plagued with guilt? Or is it just his way to exit a relationship. As long as there’s biology involved, women will find a way to forgive.
They only conducted this test on men because the hormone it acts upon plays a larger part in their brain than it does in those of women. So if science can prove that men have it in their DNA to be distant, can it explain why women have it in their DNA to be drawn to emotionally unavailable men? Perhaps there are certain women who have an acceptance gene. It’s in their DNA to tolerate bad behaviour.
One interesting point is that research has also shown that men who have the infidelity gene have a natural abiliity to get round a woman’s defences and into her apartment. The top five were:
1. Can I come in and use the loo? It’s hard to say no to that. No, I’d rather you pee in your pants?
2. I’m thirsty – can I have a glass of water? That too. He could be diabet ic. Or dehydrated.
3. Do you mind if I leave my computer inside so I don’t have to carry it around? I don’t want him to get an ache in his shoulder – what would I cry on?
4. Is it okay if I check the football results? Saying no to that is like denying a man oxygen.
5. I need to sit down for a minute – on your bed. Quickly followed by: I promise nothing will happen, we can just cuddle. How do we resist the cuddle line ?
What women need is a detection gene. It releases a hormone that repels untrustworthy men. If some men are programmed to cheat then women need a biological imperative to avoid them.
For more from Ariel Leve, see www.timesonline.co.uk/arielleve
Ariel Leve writes for The Sunday Times Magazine, specialising in investigative features, in-depth interviews and a humorous weekly column, Cassandra. She was awarded Feature Writer of the Year by the British Magazine Design & Journalism Awards in 2008 and in the same year Highly Commended in the British Press Awards, for which she has twice been nominated. Her book, The Cassandra Chronicles, will be published by Portobello Books August 6th (UK) and HarperPerennial (US and Canada) March 2010. Click below to read her Cassandra column
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Really? so how you define the attitude of so many women (married included) who accept going to bed with a married man? If you are by nature more honest than men, why you just don't refuse the male sexual preposition? How many women get promotion in work place?... many question!
Angel , Las Palmas, Spain
I wonder if women have similar infidelity genes? If so, a reliable test for the two genes could have all sorts of interesting consequences. Start with people with people replacing "What's your sign?" with "What's your gene type?". Move on to separate clubs and dating circles. . .
Michael, Pueblo, Colorado, US
Stereotyping the behaviour of men actively hinders efforts to bring about sexual equality, by encouraging people to avoid responsibility for their actions and blame instead their genes or upbringing.
Ed Cadwallader, London, UK
Keep telling yourself that, luv.
If ladies of the first world were rather more generous with their favours, perhaps their men would be too drained to "put their love in all the wrong places".
Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan
Annie from Hampshire
As a short, ugly man with awful halitosis, I can assure you that I possess the cheat gene in spades; I just have no one to use it on.
Chris , London,
Women are from Venus and so do not have the same genes.
George, Elk Grove, USA
You can't argue with genetics. Our genetic make-up is the result of thousands of sexual choices down the generations. And between men and women, guess who exerts more choice? That's right, women. Generally speaking, men have less sex and with fewer partners than we'd like, because of this.
Angus, London, UK
What if genetics is not an excuse to do the wrong thing?
Mark Wallace, ROCKLEDGE, USA
Its just the "Paternal Instinct" at work.
Steve Chapman, Liverpool, UK
So genes made me do it, isn't that basically what this woman is saying?
If we're to believe that then I guess the children of violent offenders can say the genes made them do it. Why is this woman giving men a free pass, an excuse? Will people ever be responsible for their own actions?
Pamela, Muncie, USA
Maybe women should get to the business as often as when we met them.
Problem solved!!!
Jack, Paris, France
Maybe the gene just causes women who are cheaters to be attracted to them. We never look at the other side of the equation do we and women are the keepers of the sex anyway, aren't they? No man decides when he has sex. The woman is the ultimate decision maker.
Matt, Georgia, USA
My own scientific study has come up with a different result - I make it 5 out of 5 men have the cheat gene. By an amazing coincidence, 5 out of 5 women have it too! (It might be worth noting Ariel writes comedy for a living by the way)
Harry, Blackpool, UK
I'm going to talk about some elective gene therapy with my MD - perhaps if I had the 'cheat gene', I might have a chance at winning at Trivial Pursuit.
Julian, Twickenham, UK
ALL men are programmed to have sex with as many partners as possible. Its only women and religious organisations who assume otherwise.
Perhpas this is the reason why 40% of women between the afes of 18 and 45 in the are single. And that percentage is growing.
Monogamy is a lawyer's charter.
Na Breithne, London, UK
Some women choose geriatric millionaires to hitch on to. This i would attribute to the "greedy bitch gene"
iain rae , tunbridge wells, u.k.
Every Cheator has his Cheatess,, I wonder what her Genetic excuse might be?
Derek, Sinsheim, Germany
But there again so are women!
Dave Farmer, Broxbourne, England
If more women weren't so darn boring then I'm sure less men would go astray, regardless of the genetics of the matter. Slate magazine ran an article on why there aren't more female comedians, from an evolutionary standpoint. Face it, less boring women=less male cheaters. Don't be one-sided.
Hayden, Philadelphia, USA
This was indeed a very interesting piece of reading, of course nothing new and usually science always makes an entrance when things are usually over thought by many, however, as a man that grew up with 6 sisters and the last and only boy of the lot WOMEN do play and sometimes worse than men.
Casey, Tampa, USA
I think men are just more loving and affectionate than women. In fact, this study proves it.
warwick gunn, nice, france
I always find it amusing that women complain that men cheat on their partners. Could she please explain who these men cheat with? I suspect they are having an affair with another woman. If this is the case why does she not complain about her fellow females cheating on their partners.
Keith, WELSHPOOL, UK
Give me a break would ya. Women cheat as much as men do, genetic or not. Don't act as if all women are saints.
Slavik Kuerschner, Moscow,
Most women are designed to be mentally unstable for 25% of their reproductive years. This has a far greater impact on male fideltiy than genetics!!
Ben, Glagow, UK
I don't understand the five points. Does Ariel Leve wish a world only with gays and lesbians?
Betty, Florence, Italy
I suggest to skip the dating game and just find out to begin with what kind of person you are dealing with. In the experiment the scientists used tests including a Partner Bonding Scale - get hold of a copy and bring to your next date. Or possibly invest in a lie detector. No socialising allowed!
Malin, Berkshire, UK
Alex from Seattle - you are taking this much too seriously. Perhaps scientists should research men who are missing a sense of humour gene.
Cynthia, London, UK
Why is it okay for women to be sexist pigs, but you cry bloody murder as soon as a man makes a slight comment? You talk so much about men cheating; but don't women cheat? Are you telling me women are just perfect little angels that do nothing wrong? PLEASE! Your just better at hiding it.
Alex, seattle, usa
I'd barter that some women were genetically predisposed to thoroughly hate men. If someone cheats could it maybe be because their partner is uninteresting, and untrusting? Sometimes you need to make more of an effort perhaps? I don't condone cheating but these sort of rubbish is only contributing.
Alasdair, Melbourne, Australia
I suppose all our behaviors will one day be reduced to genetic coding. Emotions, thoughts, instincts and reasoning; everything will get tossed into the genetic swimming pool and we'll be totally free of all mystery and personal responsibility.
Tony, Austin, TX, USA
Only women from broken homes or with mental problems would be attracted to cheats and emotionally unavailable men..., why stay with a robot otherwise? unless he has money or a nice apt, it would be healthier to buy a pet dog and spend rest of your life with him!
Lulu, Birmingham, uk
First of all in these days u do need to find out about a guy a man & ask: How sane u are or how ill u are?Secondly has been always said that since the first male was created it was soon understood his inclination to malice & cheat;so,must be in their DNA.
Terry, London, Uk
Fantastic ... now I can truly blame my parents for my behaviour. And thanks for the 5 tips - must try them.
dean, Sydney, Australia
Especially in London a city that does offer everything so easy everyone feels appealed to become a nice elegant pig !Doesn't exist nothing anymore...once we were able & know how to control sexual instincts life emotionally mentally etc this doesn't seems to apply anymore to none !
Terry, London, Uk
I see sometimes guys exciting themselves just like that in public etc Houndred of guys coming to leave in London just for wanted to leave a life of a pig & left in other countries wife & children & calling sometimes saying: I love u darly !Too far away none will know what they are doing in London .
Terry, London, Uk
That's why everyone loves London.
None is trustworthy u do need to check & double check at all times & even when u check u are still cheated !Unfortunately is how everything goes.
There's a way to behave daily even in our instincts sexually emotionally etc apparently none knows this way!!!
Terry, London, Uk
When u possess a fully serenity of mind & body even about sex in life & about urself only a that point u can declare to be an happy man or woman !
Terry, London, Uk
The statement is not as bold as it first sounds.After all it,s common knowledge that we are pre disposed to many things
via dna.
But we all have a choice don,t we !
Or are we know better than our furry friends after all ?
Phil, Manchester, Lancashire
I find that short, ugly men with bad breath and no sense of humour rarely have the cheat gene. Funny that.
Annie, Hampshire,
I think all our faults are down to the fact we are born of woman!
Mike O Connor, Plymouth,
Your point being??....
John Polenski, Seoul, Sth Korea
And I suppose women never misbehave.
Jo Morris, Grays, uk
Advice to Men:
Start behaving suspiciously right from the beginning of the relationship.
In that way, when you do really do start seeing someone else, she won't be any the wiser.
Sam Young, Paris, France