Ariel Leve
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Election addiction has become a global pandemic. Everybody I know seems to be hooked. No surprise since it’s not just Americans that want change. But unlike other addictions, there’s no shame. People are thankful to have something that distracts them from the economic ice age that is descending upon us. Some are hooked on the internet, some on television, while others still get their fix the old fashioned way: through a newspaper.
But what happens after November 4? Millions will be left going through cold turkey. I asked my friend Maggie what she’ll do after the election.
“I’d like to say I’ll spend those hours going to the gym or volunteering but I can’t commit,” she said. “But if McCain wins I will spend my time packing and exploring real estate in Canada.”
People will have to replace the information addiction with something else. Hard core addicts will get into Obama's cabinet selection. Other options are Britney's comeback or Angelina's next baby. But unless there is footage of them going to prison or kissing each other, or even better: kissing each other while in prison, it won’t be round the clock coverage.
I’m a little worried about my father. He is unable to function without his fix. If he doesn’t have his newspaper, it’s like someone’s pulled the plug on the respirator.
I first became concerned about him overdosing when he set his alarm clock for 3am so he could wake up while on holiday in Italy to watch the debates. But I knew others in Europe and around the world were doing this. I let it go. Then, he switched his flight out of Singapore so that he didn’t have to miss the vice presidential debate.
“You can’t read about it when you land?” I suggested.
He looked at me the way Amy Winehouse would look at someone suggesting she have a shot of wheatgrass juice instead of whiskey.
The other day I asked him how many hours he spends reading the newspaper. “Three to four,” He said, peering over the top of one, “At least.”
His emphasized those last two words as though he’s in training for an endurance test and wants his discipline known.
But the newspapers are just the warm up before going online. Then it’s the blogs, (a word he couldn’t understand before this year), election stories and e-mails. He swaps notes and hotlinks with his friends before breaking for lunch.
His afternoon is spent responding to the e-mails he received earlier. It’s a good thing he’s retired or he’d have to quit his job. As it is, he’s given up his afternoon nap because he doesn’t have time. And also, he might miss something.
The latest headline, that the Republican National Committee has spent $150,000 on Palin’s clothes is like heroin. He hates himself for wanting to know more but can’t stop. He sent me an e-mail with a link to a story about how shopping at Neiman Marcus is not where “hockey moms” shop. I couldn’t figure out which was more disturbing – that he sent me this link, or that he sent it to me when we were in the same room.
On November 5th millions of people will be going through withdrawal. Finding themselves in the void that is now their life they will return to the emptiness they left behind. Maybe they'll obsess about the economy falling apart and the stock market but for the most part there will be a lot of aimless people out there, confused and lost, having nothing exciting or worthwhile to emotionally invest in.
My father will be feeling let down and disappointed.
Finally, we’ll have something in common.
Ariel Leve writes for The Sunday Times Magazine, specialising in investigative features, in-depth interviews and a humorous weekly column, Cassandra. She was awarded Feature Writer of the Year by the British Magazine Design & Journalism Awards in 2008 and in the same year Highly Commended in the British Press Awards, for which she has twice been nominated. Her book, The Cassandra Chronicles, will be published by Portobello Books August 6th (UK) and HarperPerennial (US and Canada) March 2010. Click below to read her Cassandra column
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I could not agree more with the notion of this article. I am getting withdrawal symptoms already just thinking about it being over! The hope and inspiration that Obama creates, just leaves me craving for more. This election is so important and its a shame that more English people aren't interested
Will, Leicester, England
........................I thought you meant Guy Fawkes night.
Carol, Leicester, UK
The election is of little interest to the UK outside of media circles. The tragegy is that there are ample stories of more importance to the UK and Europe which get shoved aside in the race to be seen as a US election pundit.
Are the media aware of this low level of interest, do they care?
Edward Bancroft, Colchester,
I thought the 5th of November was Bonfire Night
John, Péault, France
I am feeling exhausted by the election process. Seeing as I am from Illinois (read: Obama) I have not had it quite as bad as others over here. Regardless, I am ready for and end to the madness of the past two years....or eight depending on how you want to look at it. Let it be over.
Ryan, Carbondale, USA
thank you Ariel for diagnosing my addiction. I am about as bad as your dad but unfortuntaley I have a job, even worse im self employed although if i wasnt im sure id have been fired by now. I need 5th Nov to hurry up so i can get on with my life!
james, london,
I can completely relate. This election is the most fascinating for years and I have moved on from whether Obama will win (he will), to which seats in congress and the senate will move to the Democrats. I will certainly be in withdrawal after its over, and will miss my CNN friends especially Wolf !
Caroline, Cape Town,
The whole media circus surrounding the American elections is ridiculous, we are in Europe yet our news coverage rarely talks of events on our continent unless they are major events. Whatever happens in this election unfortunately we will still be the lapdog so why all of this emphasis?
Tony, Midlands,
consistently funny and droll - it cheers me up
Raia, oxford, uk
Actually it's only the media, normal people in the UK don't mention it and are pretty bored with the media's obsession. You get a freebie to Washington, we get yet another piece about how amazing it is that blah blah blah blah
John Ledbury, Kings Lynn, England
Is the election really that popular in the UK? It's certainly being rammed down our throats by the media, but has anyone bothered to ask the general public whether they want it or not?
Chris K, Cheltenham, UK
Collective madness does give a sense of unity, doesn't it? After the hype, we'll just have to return to our personal shrink.
Ray Massart, Hombeek, Belgium
Picking Palin as a running mate will go down as the biggest blunder in electoral history. If you want to know who will win just look at the odds given by the bookmakers, no sentiment , bias, or prejudice there.
Simon, Leeds, U.K.
Whilst I agree that this election is fascinating, I think because of the greater contrast between the candidates than normal, the real power in the US is in who controls Congress & the size of their majority.
The speaker sets the running order for debates and that is a key role.
Colin, London,
Ms Palin clothes will be donated to charity, please tell me how much of the $180.000.000 Mr Obama received in September will he give to charity, as a maxist probably nothing. and please explain to all how is Mr Obama more qualified than a sitting governor, when he has nothing to show on his resume.
josef jurkiewicz, portland, usa
Don't worry. If McCain wins (which he will), there will be endless media speculation about the "racism" in America that nixed the black candidate. In the off chance that Obama wins, Congress will have to impeach him because he's not a "natural-born" US citizen, as the Constitution requires.
Paul, California, USA
Joe Biden says American will be ATTACKED if Obama wins. Biden sits on the foreign intelligence committee. He has access to the same intelligence as GW. And you are concerned about Palin's wardrobe? I'd rather vote for McCain if it means no more 9/11's thank you.
Michael , Los Angeles , US
November 5th will be a shock to the system..... Back to work after a public holiday to watch a horse race!
Is there an election on?
Paul, Melbourne, Australia
Oh, get over it. This is a British newspaper, in case you hadn't noticed. The world does not revolve around the USA. There really are very, very few people in the UK who could give a toss about who wins the US election, and they are all journalists.
John Austin, London, England
I will be relieved when the election is over.
There is an average of five to six pollitical ads in every commercial break. People in the swing states are being abused by these ads and signs.
The way I see it ,Obama or McCain, we can't get worse than we already have, so it will be an improvement.
Ruth, Cary NC , US
Paul Cooke,
The polls have been all over the place this election. I've seen 14 point leads and ties, I've seen McCain infront from some polls. When 5 different polls have 5 different results, you have to conclude that they're worthless.
John Swaine, Malta, Malta
don't worry, there'll be plenty to wonder about when McCain steals the election and everyone is wondering why the results are so wildly different from the exit polls and there's no verifiable paper trail to investigate... those electronic voting machines are frighteningly easy to hack
Paul Cooke, Gloucester,
Look on the bright side, it's this election that your Father got 'with' the technology age. And he seems to enjoy himself and don't worry, we'll occupy ourselves with something else.
Jo, Los Angeles, USA