People are very concerned about the Google phone tracker. It’s a service you have to sign up for and once it’s activated, you can pinpoint someone's exact location from their mobile phone.

Their movements will appear as a blue dot on a map and you can track them live. They have to agree to be monitored and Google promotes it as “fun”.

Who would sign up for this? At what point in the relationship would a couple look at each other and decide this is a good idea? If your partner says they think it would be fun to know where you are, precisely, on this earth at all times - I'm no Oprah but I think that’s a red flag.

Or maybe friends think it’s a cool way to stay in touch. Right up until you see all your friends hanging out together and you weren’t invited. That’s annoying. Do you show up? Why not – you know where they are. They’re all at the pub down the street and you’re home watching on the computer. How is that fun?

Google claims that a million users have signed up. I predict 999,999 of them will regret it.

“I lent my phone to a friend for the night” will overtake “I was working late” as the new most popular excuse for cheaters. Or let’s say you spot your loved one on the map but when you call the phone is turned off. Batteries will be “dying” all the time.

Either that or the people on this service have no idea they’ve been signed up for it. I’m sure there are loads of men getting iPhone’s for their birthday this year programmed and ready to go. Google phone tracker is Disneyland for divorce lawyers.

It’s easy to see why the MP’s in Britain feel this is a threat. It can be abused and risks putting privacy in danger.

I don’t really have a problem with that. My problem is that it’s not specific enough. Who wants to look at a blue dot? That’s not very satisfying. So I can spot what neighborhood he’s in or what street he’s walking on. Big deal. What I’d want to know is: who he is talking to, what’s he saying, what is he looking at and how is he looking? Does he appear interested? Just giving a location is nothing to get excited about.

Why waste time staring at a computer screen when I can be dreaming up far more incriminating scenarios in my head?

This service is not doing any favours for paranoid people. One of the features available is that you c an control who gets to see the location and then there is the ability to hide where you are - temporarily. Here’s how this would unfold: You’ve just had a conversation with your boyfriend and he’s told you he’s on his way home. Next thing you know, the location is hidden. Next thing you know, you’re in prison for manslaughter.

Of course if anyone was interested in monitoring my phone, it would be a huge disappointment. The blue dot on the map wouldn’t move. At first they’d wonder if the service was broken. Soon they’d realise I don’t go anywhere.

The good news is if the blue dot started moving - they’d know something was wrong. Like an emergency services alert. The blue dot was headed south of the river. At 3 o'clock on a Tuesday? That’s not right. There’s a chance they’d get their hopes up. She’s left the house! Entered the world! But then it would turn out the phone had been stolen.

The main reason I would never sign up for this is I can’t cope with Google maps. I find them confusing to read, I can never navigate correctly, and end up lost. Maps are stressful enough without adding emotional implications on top of it.

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