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Sometimes if I'm waiting for an excessive amount of time I'll begin doing chores. Only then, it's an inconvenience when the person actually returns. I'll be halfway through washing the dishes which is usually far more interesting and productive than any conversation I've been having. So after all that time waiting, I end up saying: "Let's talk later."

But it doesn't matter because I still get credit for having stuck it out.

I never know at which point to hang up. Five minutes? Ten minutes? When I'm done with my chores? The problem is if I hang up, I worry that just as this happens, they'll return. Then I'll lose credit for having waited as long as I did.

I went out with someone once who would always put me on hold to take the incoming call. He would say, hang on a second - and never return. Eventually I would hang up and wait for him to call back. A few hours would go by and then I'd get an email instead with an apology. My self-esteem was so low, I thought it was considerate of him to remember.

My friend Trish has a great system for getting out of talking to someone. She'll call herself from her fax so that she gets a call waiting beep. Why is she so afraid to say she has to go? "It's rude!" She exclaims. But faking a call to herself isn't?

I've noticed it's always when I'm in the middle of a story that people get another call. When someone comes back on the line and says, "Go on", I'll just say, "Forget it." If I'm in the midst of telling a story and someone bumps me for another (better) call, I can never get back in the groove. Breaking a story up in two parts never works. I forget where I left off and end up speeding through details... I lose interest, they stop listening; it's a mess.

I love it when someone returns and says, "Sorry - finish the story." Finish the story? Chances are I've just gotten started.

I'm an impatient person when I'm trying to reach someone but once I've reached them, I have all the time in the world. The worst is when someone keeps me waiting for so long that I forget I'm on hold. Then when eventually they come back on the line they sound surprised that I haven't hung up. "You're still there?" It's so humiliating. Yep, I'm still here. Still. Because I'm a loser.

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