There are now truly astonishing numbers of seriously wealthy individuals in the world, as the American magazine Money recently reported. Many of them have built up their fortunes hard and fast, often in areas of work that require nerves of steel as well as raw talent and intelligence. And wherever there’s treasure, there are gold-diggers – so much so that would-be chatelaines can now attend lessons and seminars designed to help secure a wealthy amorous sponsor – and there’s something to suit every pocket, from a bargain-basement $50 to $500.

Not much has changed since, say, Jane Austen’s day – except perhaps the men themselves. For a start, some of them are now women, a fact that may well revitalise the gig-olo market. Either way, male or female, those gold-diggers are going to need to pay serious attention in class. Because we are not talking about ensnaring some Tim-Nice-But-Dim with an inherited seven-figure bank account and an IQ in overdraft; we are talking highly educated, motivated, self-made people, who are as unlikely to be duped in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom.

Money has compiled its own guide to bagging a multimillionaire. It takes in the entire process, from identifying the local Mr Money-bags (it is largely aimed at female gold-diggers, although many of the techniques could apply to either sex) to inveigling yourself into his social circle. Top tips include moving to his area (even if that entails living in a shoe-box: the important thing is that you can then bump into him at your local Starbucks), cultivating an interest in his interests (art, sport, etc) and befriending powerful old ladies who can then unwittingly furnish you with introductions to your billionaire of choice.

“Billionaires’ expansive estates,” says Money“confront them with the task of covering vast stretches of empty walls and filling echoing foyers. That means they are constantly on the prowl for paintings, sculptures and other objets d’art. So prowl where they prowl . . . If you’re willing to go without dinner for a few months, invest in a $1,500 (£750) membership in the Artist’s Circle, which provides mingling opportunities, including receptions, private viewings for major exhibitions and invitations to special events such as the biennial art auctions . . . attend the annual gala or dinner. It costs about $1,000, but doing so is worthwhile. Even if you wind up with a group of dowagers instead of wealthy bachelors . . . those women can be your entry point.”

But beware. Men who make large sums of money don’t tend to be pussycats. Unless they possess a uniquely marketable and remarkable talent (footballers, pop stars, internet geniuses), they will, at their core, be ruthless. They may disguise it well with a bespoke suit or a sophisticated wine palate, but the relentless pursuit of wealth, often from difficult beginnings, can have a brutalising effect on the human soul. When money is the primary motive, then money colours all aspects of existence. And no one knows the value of money better than a self-made man. Which means that, crucially and somewhat crudely, they expect to get what they pay for.

In relationship terms, this can be exhausting. Rich men are demanding. All right, you are beautiful, witty, intelligent and charming; but if he is supporting your lavish lifestyle, he wants to call the shots. You may be tired and want an early night; but if he’s got revelry in mind, you’ll be expected to slip on your high heels and glad rags and get out there with him. I’ve known wives of wealthy men who, just hours after giving birth, have dragged themselves, wreathed in weak smiles, to the dinner table to entertain corporate clients.

Make no mistake: it’s hard work being married to a multimillionaire, even if at the end of the day you do get to slide into Frette sheets and rest your head on a £200 Hungarian goose-down pillow. One of the main problems is other women. It was James Goldsmith (thrice married) who said: “When a rich man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.” Never was a truer word spoken. Assuming you have managed to see off the first wife with your superior conversation and lithe young figure, unencumbered by children or age, you then face a lifetime of terrible strain. Having sold yourself as a Ferrari, you have to maintain yourself like one. There is a reason Ferrari issues a new model every few years or so (a shiny knob here; a new electrical gadget there; that crucial extra iota of acceleration): it appeals to their core client, and there is never a shortage of beautiful, witty young women coming on to the market.

However hard you try, you cannot fight the passage of time for ever. And from his point of view, there may be a certain appeal in owning a vintage model; but it’s never going to be as thrilling as the latest hot rod. Like I said, crude, but true.

Physically, then, it’s exhausting. While ordinary wives and mothers slide gently into middle age, Mrs Billionaire has to get back into her size 10 jeans just weeks after giving birth to twins; she must avoid eating chocolate-coated peanuts in front of the telly; and she must stress over the slightest wrinkle. Mentally, too, it’s hard. A good marriage thrives on mutual respect. If your billionaire respects money above all else (and he is likely to do so, having made many sacrifices and efforts to obtain it), it follows that he will have little respect for someone who cannot provide her own. He may use money as a lever, not just to control, but to manipulate and even belittle. If not having enough money is a fundamental cause of marital strife, so is having too much. It, and not affection, or empathy, becomes the currency in the relationship, and that will not do. It will not lead to happiness, certainly not for the woman.

If you are still determined, the best thing is to marry him while he is still just a fledgling tycoon. At least you will have some genuine shared experiences that do not revolve around having vast wads of cash. You will also have a decent stab at getting half of everything if he does eventually run off with an accommodating young lady half your age. In this respect, gold-diggers, you should make sure you marry on British soil: tempting as it may be to get glamorously hitched on his yacht, or in the South of France, resist. British divorce law favours women more than almost anywhere else in the world and, crucially, it takes into account future earnings. If you’re floating somewhere offshore, however romantic, you could well find that you fall under the jurisdiction of somewhere utterly biased in favour of the man. It’ll be your word against his and that of his (paid) captain. But then again, if you’re millionaire hunting, chances are you know that already.

Women millionaires. . . same money, different rules

With more women than ever earning large quantities of their own money, opportunities may arise for male consorts wishing to marry into wealth. But they would be wrong to assume that what these women want is the male equivalent of a billionaire’s cupcake, someone to fill their heads with flattery and their beds with rippling muscles.

What a clever, professional woman wants in a long-term partner is an equally clever, professional man. It doesn’t matter if she makes all the money; as long as he has a brain – and uses it. So while the tennis coach or yoga teacher may suffice for a flirtation, he will not cut the mustard around the dinner table. For that she will require someone more substantial: a doctor, a teacher a writer, or, if she’s trendy, a charity campaigner or eco-warrior. Even a would-be rock star will do, if he’s “authentic”. And picks up his dirty socks.

Businesswise, women may be close behind men, but many are idealists in the bedroom. If a man is paid-for arm-candy, he soon erodes her self-esteem. Many rich men revel in having a pretty young wife, marvel at the pertness of her new bosom; a woman will feel degraded if her lover is just a pet poodle. Any relationship needs to be validated: she wants to marry someone worthwhile; a man she would be proud to have as her children’s father.

Rich girls . . .

ALICIA KOPLOWITZ
Age: 54
Worth: $5 billion (£2.5 billion)
Source of wealth: Inherited, investments
Residence: Madrid

ABIGAIL JOHNSON
Age: 45
Worth: $13 billion (£6.5 billion)
Source of wealth: Finance
Residence: Massachusetts

IRINA ABRAMOVICH
Age: 39
Worth: £155 million
Source of wealth: Divorce
Residence: UK and Russia

CAMILLA HAGEN

Age: 25
Worth: £225 million
Source of wealth: family investments in supermarkets and Carlsberg
Residence: London

JUDY CRAYMER
Age: 49
Worth: £78 million
Source of wealth: Creator of the musical Mamma Mia
Residence: London

Rich guys . . .

SAM BRANSON
Age: 21
Worth: Set to inherit £1 billion from his father, Richard Branson
Source of wealth: Inherited, has made money from modelling
Residence: UK

JEFFREY SKOLL
Age: 42
Worth: $4.2 billion (£2.1 billion)
Source of wealth: First president of eBay; now a film producer
Residence: California

MIKHAIL PROKHOROV
Age:41
Worth: $13.5 billion (£6.7 billion)
Source of wealth: Metals
Residence: Moscow

PRINCE ALBERT VON THURN UND TAXIS
Age: 23
Worth: $2 billion (£1 billion)
Source of wealth: Diversified, inherited
Residence: Regensburg, Germany

NAT ROTHSCHILD
Age: 36
Worth: $2.6 billion (£1.3 billion)
Source of wealth: Finance, inherited
Residence: London and New York

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