Last year, when I was working on The Great Big Glorious Book for Girls (a volume of activities, ideas and tips for girls aged 7 and up), my co-author, Rosemary Davidson, and I had a long and slightly awkward discussion. We were wondering whether, in among the stuff about Parties, Sleepovers, Make-up and Beauty, Films, Books and Dastardly Tricks, there ought to be a chapter entitled Things You Might Not Want To Discuss With Your Mother.

Such a chapter would have included, in no particular order, bras (when to get one, where to get one, getting the right size); kissing (specifically, kissing boys: when, where and under what circumstances); intoxicants (the dangers, the myths); eating disorders (why starving yourself is never a good look) and periods (when, why and what to do).

After careful thought, however, we decided against it. We did include some stuff about boys, of course, and various bits of advice about personal hygiene, but we left out the really hairy stuff. The book was intended partly as an alternative to the games console and the television; while we didn’t want it to be retro in a twee way, we also didn’t want it to seem trashy.

In retrospect, the decision not to channel the spirit of My Guy seems to have been the right one. That is not to say, however, that young girls don’t take an active interest in all that stuff, sometimes from a surprisingly young age. This became evident last week when girlguiding.org.uk, the online home of the Guides, revealed the main issues preoccupying today’s women of the future. They included learning to be a confident public speaker, how to practise safe sex and assembling flat-pack furniture.

Younger girls were interested in cooking, specifically how to rustle up healthy meals, team-leading, tent-pitching and how to deal with boys. Other hot topics featured were looking after animals and first aid.

I never had the chance to be a Girl Guide. I dearly wanted to be, obviously (just as I dearly wanted a Barbie doll, something that my mother would have allowed over her dead body). Sadly – well, in the context of my Guiding ambitions, at least – I spent my childhood in Italy, where organised youth movements still held distinctly uncomfortable associations. The thought of bright-eyed youngsters dressing up in uniform, giving strange salutes and setting off on invigorating marches still gave most parents, including mine, the heebie-jeebies. These days there need be no such concerns. Guiding is not so much a youth movement as a shining example of forward-thinking liberalism – as befits a modern organisation for young women.

Those who protested against Guides being awarded badges for “home-making” (the making of jams, hospital corners and so on) and “hostessing” (hopefully not in the modern sense of the word) will have had a triumphant sense of the organisation having finally got with the feminist agenda – and indeed, the mixture of interests expressed by the girls in the survey reflected this.

Why, then, was the Girlguiding UK survey greeted almost universally by the media with an underlying sense of disapproval? People seemed horrified by the idea that Guides should even countenance doing the wild thing, let alone be curious about how to do it without ending up either in the family way or in the waiting room of their local STD clinic. At the same time, they were also fretting that displaying an interest in cookery or pets might run counter to the postfeminist agenda. It was so much simpler in the days when the Guides was an “organisation synonymous with the homely and the innocent, in which thousands of girls have spent their carefree days striving to achieve badges for keeping an orderly house and stamp collecting”. Or at least that’s what The Guardian ( The Guardian!) seemed to think.

All of which goes to show that even the most forward-thinking liberals sometimes find the multifaceted nature of emancipation very confusing, especially when it comes to girls. The chattering classes idealise innocence, worry about the presexualisation of girls, tut-tut about the unrealistic foot/bosom ratio of Malibu Barbie. Yet simultaneously they obsess about gender stereotyping: girls are encouraged to play football and discouraged from taking part in overtly “girlie” activities such as baking and pony clubs. Try writing a book in which such activities are celebrated and even encouraged, and see the amount of is-this-the-state-of-modern-girlhood beard-stroking that comes your way.

It’s all so much knee-jerking. It’s true: women have not yet achieved total equality – there is still much work to be done on equal pay, division of domestic labour, pensions – and so, of course, we have to be vigilant. However, in the privileged West at least, today’s generation of girls find themselves in an unprecedented position of strength. They have confidence, they have freedom and, more importantly, they have choice. Girls can and will be a bit of everything: sugar and spice, yes; but slugs and snails, too.

This can be a problem. People are afraid of complexity; they like things to fit neatly into boxes. It’s why history has never really coped with Elizabeth I. First they made it all about Dudley; then all about the hair and make-up; then they tried to make out that she was in fact a man. All of which was just a hysterical response to the confusing fact that someone could be both a) female and b) a successful monarch.

And so here is the final battle for female emancipation: getting the world to understand that just because you like baking cupcakes doesn’t mean you are one.

As to the book, well: yes, it does contain stuff about ponies; yes, there are some rather silly bits about pom-poms; but it also has sections on Inspirational Women (Nellie Bly, Virginia Woolf, the aforementioned Queen Bess and others), Books, Quotes and Films, How to Write a Play, and a rather strict lecture on not overplucking your eyebrows.

None of these things, to my knowledge, is an impediment to growing up into a fully fledged modern female.

DON’T DO THIS, DO THAT: ADVICE FOR GIRLS THROUGH THE YEARS

Girls of a superior position should read everything and be well up in every matter upon which we give instruction. For girls of a less high position, there are papers on economical cookery, plain needlework, home education and health.

The Girl’s Own Paper, 1880

When you intend to call on someone, try to write or telephone first. It is perfectly all right, however, to call without warning if you are inquiring after the health of someone who is ill, but do not expect to be asked in.

The Girls’ Handbook, 1966

Once upon a time being beautiful meant having a set sort of good looks, measurements that fitted the fashionable pattern. But not any more! If you aren’t as beautiful as you’d like to be . . . maybe it’s your own fault!

Jackie, 1971

Be a love-witch! When you want to get a guy, it’s no use leaving things to luck! You’ve gotta get fate firmly on you side. Bewitch a boy – and make him yours for ever!

My Guy, 1978

To smooth away the odd bulge under a closely fitting skirt, a very light pantie girdle should be quite adequate.

The Girls Handbook, 1981

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