Rosemary Bennett, Social Affairs Correspondent
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More than half of all working mothers will lie about why they are running late or absent from the office if their childcare arrangements fall through, according to research.
The study indicated that 52 per cent routinely blamed heavy traffic or having overslept because those were seen as more legitimate excuses for arriving late than a sick nanny.
The report, which asked 1,500 working mothers about attitudes towards them in their office, concluded that women colleagues without children were less sympathetic to the pressures they faced juggling work and domestic duties than male colleagues. More than half of those surveyed (57 per cent) said that men appeared to understand more than other women the stresses they were under.
The survey, conducted by The Family Care Company, a nursery chain, suggests that office attitudes do not match the claim of many bosses that they want to make working life easier for mothers.
“It is rather worrying that a faulty alarm clock or heavy traffic is seen as a more acceptable reason for being late than having problems with childcare,” said Ben Black, director of the company. “It shows that many mothers are trying to hide the everyday problems working parents have.”
The majority of working mothers (94 per cent) said that having children had had an impact of their careers, but only a third said that the dual demands of work and family had affected their husband or partner’s job.
Two thirds said that asking for flexible working arrangements led bosses to assume that they were less committed to the job, even though their request could easily be accommodated.
The Government introduced the right for parents to request flexible work in 2003 and says that more than one million requests have been granted. However, the survey suggests that there is a price to pay, with fewer opportunities for promotion and progression. The research also suggested that employers were less familiar with the law that stops them asking prospective employees about their childcare arrangements.
More than a third of the women said that they had been asked about how their family commitments might affect their work. It is almost unheard of for a man to be asked this question.
Lisa Thompson, a corporate lawyer with three children, said that a generally negative atmosphere in her office led her to lie about absences and lateness if her childcare arrangements fell through. She said that colleagues took a dim view of her need to leave at 5.30pm every day, even though she worked at home to catch up when the children were in bed.
“There were times when our nanny was ill and another when she got bumped from her seat coming back from holiday. I felt I had to put as much distance between why I was late and the fact that I am a mother, so I would say I had a client meeting or was even ill myself,” she told The Times.
Mrs Thompson, 38, from Fulham, West London, returned to work full-time after having her first son, who is now 4, and then went part-time when she had her second son, now 3, but quit two years ago and now looks after her children full-time.
“It was very difficult to leave a City law firm at 5.30pm when your colleagues are all going to be there until 10 or 11, even if you are back online at 7pm. I felt guilty that I wasn’t giving 100 per cent to either work or my children.
“It was also stressful for my husband, who worried every afternoon that he was going to get a call from me asking him to race home to cover because I was stuck at work,” she said.

— 94% percent of working mothers say having children has affected their careers
— 31% percent say husband or partner’s job has been affected
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As an NHS hospital dept. manager. My female staff looked at their watches if I was late (one had a house husband, the other one adult daughter neither had needed to work when theirs were little,) inspite of all the lunches and weekends I worked, and the assistance I gave them to meet deadline.
I gave up in the end, how sad in a female dominated working environment!
sharon Knight, london, uk
I totally agree with the comments - it;s so hard for women to juggle work and family. the majority of us women enjoy a demanding career yet still want to leave work at a reasonable time to pick up the children and spend some quality time with them. Why can;t employers be more understanding. I am just as productive working 6 hours a day as someone working longer hours. It makes me more focused. There should be more part time jobs available that aren't limited to admin or secretarial work.
M Thomas, Warwick, UK
Shame that companies do not see the positive affect of having parent's working for them - ability to juggle many tasks at once, need to stretch their brains after reading "the Hungry Caterpillar" for the n00th time, maturity that it needs and point of view change.
Still very 19th century that if you are not in the office you are not working.
Andrew McCaughtrie, Peterborough,
Our office, be it tiny as a business, employs 4 women. Two are mothers and two are grandmothers. All work together to cross-cover if there are family emergencies, illnesses in the children, or holidays to take. The two mothers work 30% at home and are highly efficient. Work is done - on time and well. Our junior team member has worked for us 6 years and the others about 15. Flexible work hours pay excellent dividends to all involved.
Kurtis H Fox, MD, Colfax, California/ USA
Your colleagues will be there until 11pm because they're not efficient enough to finish their work before then, Jon. Nobody should work until that time unless they're doing shift work and start late.
I've noticed before that I got looked at funny because I had the audacity to leave at 5 (gasp!) because I'd done all my work, rather than surf aimlessly on the internet, gossip, take incessant smoking breaks, etc.
starling, Lancaster,
Actually I find that as a non mother I am actively discriminated against. Most days I am expected to work at least three hours more than the mothers I work with. We receive the same annual salary, but I am working 10 hour days compared to their 7. When I suggest that I would like to leave at time occasionally their are big sighs all round and it is made very clear that I am inconveniencing everyone. My colleagues however leave on the dot daily - as is their right.
The problem is not their working hours but that unless you have children, then you are not entitled to a work-life balance.
And don't get me started about taking time off at the Xmas!
PM, London,
WHat is happening her is a bit more troubling than you may be suggesting. I feel it is evidence still that the women's movement has liberated us only half way, and that is to become men. Yes we got the right to do the roles they used to keep us from, but we have not yet won respect for the caregiving roles. Your article illusltrates this two ways. First, by the fact women are shy about mentionning caregiving topics , taboo subjects still apparently. And second, even your writer speaks of the care role with subtle even unconscious disdain. If we call women who earn' working mothers' that assumes women taking care of kids with no funding are not 'working' Those are male paradigm terms. Those are insults to caregiving also. What has happened is an androgenization of society. Women are allowed to buy into male values, male jobs, titles, salaries even, but it is still seen as lesser to run like a girl, cry like a girl, hit a ball like a girl, or change diapers. Incomplete liberation.
Beverley Smith, Calgary Alberta, Canada
Women colleagues without children were less sympathetic than male colleagues. Did the male colleagues have children?
This article seems to sum up the problem neatly though - you have to take time out of work because you chose to have children. Your colleagues are going to be at work continuously until 10 or 11pm. Why on earth would you expect not to be disadvantaged?
Jon, Winchester, UK
Only 94%? I would have thought that 99.9% would have said that. And if asked would also have said that having children affected every single aspect of their lives.
The article is making a big fuss about nothing.
ZB, Fuengirola, Spain