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Ursula James says that even though the relationship is platonic, it’s still a relationship and just as you would with a partner, you need to make an effort. “Friendships, like all relationships, need maintenance,” she says. “It doesn't mean we have to constantly call.” Rather, recognise that being a friend requires reaching out, organising time together and paying attention to your friend's needs.

5. Take the lead to improve the friendship

If you find that actually, it is always you making the effort and not getting any support back, then Hannah Nutley suggests trying to make subtle changes. “If you are the shoulder to cry on for a friend, then re-focus the conversation on what you want to talk about,” she says. “We lead change by behaving differently and thereby creating the space for both ourselves and the other person to 'show up' differently.

It takes practice and commitment to make the change stick but fundamentally it will better equip you for both this friendship and other relationships.”

6. Stay positive

Psychologist James Brook advises that we try to remain positive and optimistic, even in the face of adversity. “Research shows that people are more attracted to individuals displaying positive emotions and attitudes and who look for positive meaning, even in adverse events,” he says. “Conversely, research shows that people who are generally negative and pessimistic tend to repel others, who choose to spend their time with others with a happier, more optimistic outlook. “

7. Forgive yourself

Talane Miedaner, author of The Secret Laws of Attraction, says that often people who are judgmental or critical of others, are also hard on themselves. “You end up holding loved ones to the same high standards you have, whether they have agreed to these standards or are even aware of them”, she says. “The magic cure for this unpleasant trait is to forgive yourself first. When you stop being so hard on yourself, you will have room in your heart to forgive others too. Another way to think about this is to realize that you are doing the best you can at the time, and so is everyone else.”

8. Feel the love

Hypnotherapist, life coach and author of Get The Love You Want, Glenn Harrold, suggests using visualising techniques to build strong friendships. “Think of a friend you care about or want to develop a stronger friendship with,” he says. “Close your eyes and imagine a strong feeling of love coming from your heart and reaching their heart, and silently focus on the word 'love'.

“When you do this, avoid judgment or discrimination and continue to project a feeling of love towards them through your heart connection. After doing this a few times you will notice a stronger bond with this person.”

9. Listen

Philip Underwood, author of Change your Thinking - Change your Life, says that when our friends talk to us, we need to be properly prepared to listen to what they have to say. “Listen with the intention of understanding - with the heart not the head,” he advises.

10. Know when and how to say goodbye

Should you find that a friendship is causing more harm than good, then recognise it and face it, says Liz Pryor, author of What Did I Do Wrong?, a book about female friendships. “Don’t slip out the back door, avoid, stammer, ignore….particularly with a long time friend…address it,” she says.” Through E-mail, a letter, phone or in person, let the friend know what you are doing. It doesn’t make us cruel, mean, failed people to end a friendship…it's life in that moment, you can even call it taking a break, but tell her.”

Have you ever had a bad friendship breakup or one that you rescued after a row? Tell us your stories below.

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