Q I am becoming increasingly embarrassed by my sister, who has recently split up with her long-term partner. She is in her forties but has started to wear ludicrously young clothes and go out to bars where she picks up men 15 or 20 years her junior.

I know that you will think that I am being judgmental and priggish, but these liaisons rarely last and she ends up looking desperate and needy. How can I get her to tone it down?

Carla, 45

A Awwww, try not to be too hard on your sister. Her heart may or may not have been broken by the split but I’ll bet her ego has taken one heck of a beating. How many of us who have been stuck in a long-term relationship haven’t fantasised about how great life would be without our beloved?

Your sister is checking out the reality of this dream — she’s lost the safety net of a stable partner and everything that goes with that.

Some of the newly single turn in on themselves, too scared to try again; others, such as your sister, focus their energies on something else: yoga, shopping, cosmetic surgery, toy boys and guest spots on Strictly Come Dancing are all popular ways to get over a break-up.

You know, honey, this isn’t really about your embarrassment, it’s about your sister trying to find her feet. She needs reassurance that she’s still attractive, that she hasn’t wasted her best years on a dog who has just shaken himself down and moved on.

It’s not unusual for people in her position to test the water a little too enthusiastically. You simply have to hope that all she is doing is paddling in a creek and has not fallen down a well. The best thing to do is to turn a blind eye and pray that it passes quickly.

Explore Women

• Fashion

• Beauty

• Diet & Fitness

• Relationships

• Families

• Celebrity

• The Way We Live

• Horoscopes

Times recommends

• The Boxing Day tsunami: five years on
• What took place in 2010...
• Can you really cure a hangover?