I have tried not to let the fact that the offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has a FlatOut Bear prejudice this piece in any way, though I’ll confess it’s a struggle. It’s also a struggle, once you have escaped from the baby ghetto, to go back there and think that baby things are cute. This is not an indictment of early motherhood, rather I suspect an indictment of my own mothering skills (I’m much better when they can walk and talk). Nonetheless, when FOB arrived in the office there was an instant stampede and much discussion about whether this was the best teddy ever made. FOB has a lot going for it – it’s 100 per cent natural sheepskin, has gnaw-resistant eyes and nose, and very best of all (and most obviously) it is flat.

What, I hear you ask, is the point of a flat teddy? Surely, in memory of its creator, the big bear hunter and president of the US, Teddy Roosevelt, a bear should always be a little on the rotund side? Think of Pooh, think of the Goldilocks Three, think for goodness sake of Baloo of The Jungle Book… all of these bears are a lot more John Prescott than Kate Moss. The truth is, though, a teddy bear is for sleeping with, or in most cases – presupposing you are under three – sleeping on, which is where FOB comes into its own. Readers, if you have tiny children, you are no doubt familiar with wandering into their rooms to watch them sleep/check that they are still breathing and being horrified to see them necks askew as they attempt to snuggle into the chest of their small bear, avoiding the pointy nose and the generally cumbersome head. FOB presents no such difficulties – in fact, it looks so comfortable that I was tempted to put my head down on the desk and give it a go myself. If you could get over the awkward stares, I could see that FOB would come in very handy on a long plane or train journey. This is no doubt what Sarah Jessica Parker was thinking when she said, “I really struggled with whether I had the strength of character to give FlatOut Bear to my son or keep it for myself.”

FOB hails from Australia. Jodie Neve and Caroline Lor, two transplanted Aussies, decided that there was a gap in the market here for well-made, stylish baby clothes and accessories. Since they set up shop (metaphorically speaking), they have been inundated with orders for FOB and other cool Aussie kids’ kit. “Australians make slightly funky stuff for children and we really thought there was a lack of that here,” says Neve. FOB has done better than Robbie Williams and cracked the American market in under six months where he/she is pulling in the crowds at Barneys, NYC. If you are an arctophile*, then FOB is an absolute must. Remember, you heard it here first.

flatoutbear@nottinghillbaby company.com

coolhunter@thetimes.co.uk

*teddy bear collector

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