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Gina Singh, 26, told a court that she was bullied, isolated and became seriously ill after entering into an arranged Sikh marriage. Ms Singh, from Nottingham, sued her former mother-in-law, Dalbir Kaur Bhakar, who imposed a 17-hour daily regime of housework, forced her to bleach her skin and cut her hair and severely restricted contact with her family.
She was forbidden to leave the house alone and was not allowed to listen to the radio, read newspapers or watch television. Her isolation was such that when she fled the marital home in March 2003 Ms Singh knew nothing about the imminent invasion of Iraq.
Giving judgment at Nottingham County Court, Timothy Scott, QC, the Recorder, said: “The course of conduct towards Gina was not merely negligent, or even reckless, but deliberate. She was utterly miserable and wretched during those four months, and was suffering from what was for her an incomprehensible personal attack.”
Ms Singh, speaking outside court, said: “I look back and I can’t understand how I survived those four months being treated like a slave.” Her case is believed to be the first time that someone has sued their mother-in-law under the 1997 Harassment Act, which was intended to deal with stalkers. The ruling could set a precedent for further claims by women living in unhappy arranged or forced marriages.
Ms Singh was 22 and a manager in her family’s clothing business when she married Hardeep Bhakar, then 25, from Ilford, East London, on November 1, 2002. Their families had been introduced by a matchmaker. She had expected to live with her husband’s family after the marriage.
But she soon began to have doubts about her new home, which she shared with Hardeep and his two brothers as well as Mrs Bhakar and her husband, Prithvipal Singh Bhakar. Ms Singh and Mrs Bhakar were often alone in the house together while the men were out.
Mrs Bhakar attempted to exhaust and humiliate her daughter-in-law, requiring her to clean toilets without a brush and clean the floor without a mop. Her hands became infected. Ms Singh’s visits home were restricted and she was not allowed to attend her uncle’s funeral or make regular visits to the Sikh temple. Her mobile phone was confiscated and she was allowed to make and receive only one closely monitored call a week to her family.
The court heard that Ms Singh was distressed by being coerced into having her hair cut, because she considered it an important religious duty never to cut her hair. Ms Singh said that she was deeply hurt and felt degraded.
Ms Singh’s father came to collect her from the Bhakars’ home on March 2, 2003, after receiving a call from his distressed daughter. She suffered bouts of depression for months.
The Bhakar family denied Ms Singh’s allegations but the judge found that Mrs Bhakar’s evidence, given through an interpreter, was “riddled with untruth and evasion”. He said that a possible explanation for her behaviour was the need to assert her dominance. She was brought up in India and, despite living in England for 30 years, spoke little English. She may have felt threatened by a daughter-in-law who spoke English as a first language.
Mr Bhakar and Ms Singh divorced in November 2003. She said: “We were very happy together. These arranged marriages do work if there’s no interference from in-laws, especially mothers-in-law.
“I had the support of my family and friends. Many other girls who are suffering the same situation don’t have support from their family.”
It is common for Asian brides to live with their in-laws after arranged marriages.
Jasvinder Sanghera, who runs Karma Nirvana, a network of refuges for Asian women fleeing domestic violence, said: “It happens day in, day out. In the Asian tradition when a woman marries, she has to leave her family home to live in her matrimonial home. The mother-in-law has a very strong position within the family hierarchy. You are taught to obey your mother-in-law. The mother-in-law knows that and exercises that power.”
The Bhakar family declined to comment on the judgment but it is understood that they are considering an appeal.
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