I’m not going to apologise for this column on the basis that, though it might cause upset to some, there are thousands of others, myself included, who might be grateful for a bit of debate on the subject.

Here’s the big unanswered question: why is it frowned upon for men to sit down when they pee? You may groan or nod in agreement, but the fact is that this is a question being posed more and more – and not just by members of the female sex. I have counted five confessionals on the part of men I like and respect over the past 12 months to the effect that they do indeed – from time to time you understand – sit down. Here’s a quote – it’s not verbatim because I figured it would embarrass the confessor to ask him to repeat it: "I sit down quite a lot especially when I’m really tired or it’s the middle of the night ["or he’s drunk" – this from his wife]. I don’t know why men are ashamed of it, they just are."

The topic of sitting down is "out there" right now. If you’ve read Ian McEwan’s Saturday, you’ll know that his hero Henry Perowne does just that while musing: "There’s a view that it’s shameful for a man to sit to urinate because that’s what women do. Relax!" In the award-winning television show Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David riffs on "sitting down", claiming it’s a preferable position for peeing and comfort. Never mind them, though. What about the people (mostly us women) who actually have to clean around the loo after all that standing up and splashing has gone on? Worse still in my case, what about those of us who have a houseful of boys, which means statistically that 75 per cent of the time when I go into the bathroom, the loo seat will be up, despite my best efforts and threats to persuade them otherwise? Is standing up macho? Is it in the DNA (no, of course it isn’t). Does it imply that vastness of member precludes sitting down for fear of trailing? Women of Britain, we know that to be fallacy and/ or wishful thinking.

Which brings me to MAPSU – Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up, which seems to be an American organisation dedicated to "transforming the way the world goes to the bathroom by 2010". It could be a giant spoof or it could be for real. Either way, check out the T-shirts, the print-out posters and the thesis that "the longer the urine has to travel, the bigger the dissipation radius gets". Apparently, peeing standing up destroys families. "At some point you need to ask yourself is it worth it? What has peeing standing up cost me in my life?" urges MAPSU. Right on, sisters.

www.mapsu.org

coolhunter@thetimes.co.uk

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