I feel a right tit. No, literally, I am stroking my right breast over my
cardigan in a way that is meant to be both teasing and empowering, and I am
trying to do that half-lidded, pouty, look-but-don’t-touch thing that sexy
girls do so naturally. Except that when middle-aged housewives like me do it
I’m more likely to get a concerned: “Is there something in your eye, dear?”
as my husband peers distractedly over the top of his newspaper, instead of
the desired effect, which is either “You little minx! Come here, now!” or
“My, you look like a woman in charge of her own sexuality!”
I am having a lesson in striptease, not necessarily to sexually enslave my
husband, although that would be fine, but to boost my body confidence, sense
of femininity and gorgeousness by learning to take my clothes off in an
erotic way. My teacher is Jo King, the founder of the London School of
Striptease. Her mission is to make women feel better about themselves and
she exudes such exuberance that it is impossible not to get caught up in her
enthusiasm.
For the duration of the lesson, in my case an hour, she is your biggest fan.
She really, really believes in your ability to be fabulous, clothes on,
clothes off, and clothes coming off.
King has been getting her kit off, professionally, for more than 28 years. She
has seen the changes in the stripping world, from the seedy Soho days to the
air of respectability that mainstream artistes such as Dita Von Teese and
others in the burlesque revival have afforded it. Now 48, and with
distractingly huge breasts, she says that the London School of Striptease,
which she started in 2000, came about partially through her nonstripper
friends asking her for tricks of the trade to spice up their relationships.
King started giving lessons to small groups of women or one-on-one to
ladies.
In the dance studio where I have my lesson I feel very self-conscious. I was
hoping to be able to wear my tights, but tights are bad, says King, because
there is no nice way of getting out of them, so off they come, as well as
the thermal undershirt (oh, come on, it was cold). King says you have to
wear clothes that come off easily, such as skirts and blouses and so on, not
my favourite polo necks that get stuck mid-head and leave me with Eraserhead
hair. And stockings. But that’s where I draw the line. I feel too Rocky
Horror, too silly, like I am trying too hard, and I don’t like the feel
of those bobbly things digging into my thighs. Too clichéd. Forget it. But
King says: “Clichés are clichés because they work!”
I can see I am not her kind of girl, not quite with the programme, but I am
willing to try. She shows me how to swivel my hips in a figure eight. It
feels quite nice and I am soon grinning. Soon I am learning to sashay, to
turn, to stroke my clothed body in a teasing but not entirely dirty way, and
to step gracefully out of my skirt. King barks “Feet!” when mine turn
pigeontoed, and “Face!” when I am looking confused and dazed.
As this is only an hour-long mini-lesson there is not time to go the full
monty, though I learn how to unbutton my cardie from the bottom up and to
kick my skirt off in a devil-may-care way. Throughout the lesson I am
laughing my head off, and though King dismisses the giggling as “not being
comfortable with your sexuality” I think it is because I have always opted
for the ridiculous over the sublime. Still, I am puzzled how doing a little
bump and grind and taking clothes off slowly and delicately, for yourself,
or for a partner, translates to better self-esteem.
The self-esteem boosting properties of the craft became apparent, King says,
when she started getting loved-up feedback from her pupils and so it became
a bit of a selling point. “I get students, mums, salespeople, and a lot of
lawyers and doctors coming to me,” she says. “And I get all ages, from early
twenties to late seventies. The oldest woman I had, in her seventies, wanted
to learn how to ‘sashay’. She was fabulous.” She shows me a text from a
lawyer who gushes that she feels taller somehow, and very sexy and confident
after lessons with King.
This is a view confirmed by one of my best friends, a single, attractive woman
in her early fifties who has recently lost her mojo and sought out King’s
services in the hope of getting it back. She says of King: “She is very hot
on empowering women and she does it in a way that is not so much to do with
the actual routine but more to do with her presence and what she says. I am
standing there in front of a mirror, practically naked and she is going,
‘Look at you, you are beautiful.’ And I think, ‘Yes, I am”, and that feeling
stays with me. I went to a party a week later and people were saying ‘You
look fantastic’ and I knew they really meant it.”
Lynda Field, the director of the Weekend Life Coaching Company (www.weekendlifecoach.
com ), which provides training for “success in life, in work and in
love”, is a bestselling author who has written 17 self-help books, many
concerned with self-esteem. She thinks that striptease lessons can make
women like their bodies more. “Women with low self-esteem will do all they
can to avoid taking their clothes off in front of anyone and will even
undress in the dark. I often encourage clients to get used to undressing for
others by watching themselves dress and undress in front of a mirror. When
we learn to be happy in our own skin we generate an aura that attracts
others.”
But Ingrid Collins, a consultant psychologist at the London Medical Centre,
thinks that the whole concept is dubious at best and potentially damaging at
worst. She says: “If a woman needs to feel good about herself, a focus on
inner qualities, emotional and spiritual, would give her a more solid and
long-lasting foundation in self-respect than learning to seduce herself in
front of a mirror. Sometimes profoundly disturbing emotional issues can
surface by way of such activities.”
I can’t say if learning how to striptease has affected my self-esteem, which
is not particularly low, but it has made me think about how I present
myself, how I walk, and I realise that if I want to feel good naked, I must
actually get naked, from time to time.
Learning to strip
Contact Jo King on 07958 314107 or visit londonschoolofstriptease.co.uk
. Courses in London include the Bare Essentials – Beginners’ Striptease
Workshop, a two-hour class, £60; Ballards Lane, Finchley, N3. Sundays 12
noon-2pm; August 12, October 7, December 9. Ten places per workshop. (londonschoolofstriptease.co.uk
) Undress To Impress – Beginners’ Striptease Course, Danceworks, 16
Balderton Street, W1, £200, 8pm-10pm, Tuesdays (danceworks.co.uk
). Outside London: Seven Veils Productions, Brighton: 01273 885585; the Pink
Kitten Dance School, Bristol: 07980 804720.
