Marriage? Moi? I retreated into quite spectacular denial the moment we booked the registrar. After a good 10 years of cat-and-mousing, my small domestic detail and I were about to tie the knot. His idea, really.

Don’t get me wrong: I adore him. But I adore the performance pressure – where are you doing it? What are you wearing? – less. I played it so shtoom that my mother thought I had called the whole thing off. “It’s like the wedding that never was,” she wailed.

According to a recent survey by You & Your Wedding magazine, today’s bride thinks nothing of throwing £1,000 simply at looking beautiful – and we’re not just talking hair and make-up. Wedding magazines are full of ads for procedures promising to plump lips, fill lines and freeze-frame your face for that photo call of a lifetime. Happily, radical nose and boob jobs for the big day are a rarity – it seems we do at least want to be recognised by the person saying the vows beside us.

But isn’t that the point? Surely we don’t need to assume a different persona to make the most intimate commitment of our lives. Also, is it the feminist in me, or do some of those prenuptial pamper packages echo purification rites? There’s an entire industry out there trying to persuade us that a Mande Lular scrub will exfoliate previous relationships and make us born-again virgins. Me? I was determined to keep it real.

Besides, during the frenzied run-up, having to fit in salon sessions would have shoved me over the edge. Even a blow-dry on the day seemed a to-do too far. Nervy and, frankly, knackered, I just wanted a bath and to be left alone to get ready in peace. There’s something meditative and empowering about making up, but now wasn’t the time for experimenting and blowing it, so I just applied my regular look, particularly carefully.

“I was just like you,” a colleague confided later. “Worked until the last minute; did my own face and hair.” She looked happy, relaxed and, yes, radiant in her pictures. And me? Short though my hair is, that blow-dry might not have gone amiss. But that’s my only regret. Do yourself a favour – save the pamperfest for when you have time to enjoy it. It’s your wedding, so be yourself.

WHAT TO WEAR

Admittedly, after 35 years as a beauty journalist, I did have more tricks than most at my fingertips, but if you’re really not confident, most make-up counters will design a look for you and give you application tips. Generally speaking, make-up artists will tell you to choose a long-lasting matt base and avoid shimmery highlights that flare in photos. A reliable concealer is essential to hide shadows and redness around the eyes and nostrils and block the odd stress spot, but don’t cake it on. Think “less is more”, so that if it does start to fray, you won’t end up looking like Miss Havisham.

Keep eyes simple, but well defined. The Serge Lutens eye shadow compact is a beautifully balanced collection of the softest black and browns, plus ivory to highlight brow bones, lid domes and eye corners. It’s a tear-jerking £87 (from Harrods), but be consoled that for your obligatory waterproof mascara, you can’t beat Rimmel Magnif’Eyes in black (£6.99).

Bronzing powders look dingy, especially if you’re wearing white. Your biggest ally is blush, worn high on cheekbones and browbones. Go a touch brighter against white and ivory; more subtle against stronger colours. Perversely, I wore eau de nil, and Clinique Fresh Bloom Allover Colour in posy (£23) – a classic dusty rose – coped admirably. My something blue was a last-minute whoosh of L’Heure Bleue, Guerlain’s poignantly beautiful, slightly smoky floral scent, which I fell in love with in my twenties.

THE BEST MAKE-UP LESSONS

Cosmetics à la Carte A two-hour lesson costs £150; or opt for the three-stage wedding service: a free planning session two to three months before, a practice session two weeks before for £80, and make-up on the day, starting from £250; 020 7235 0596.

Shiseido at Spa Illuminata A 90-minute lesson costs £65; or £70 for a bridal make-up lesson, £35 of which is redeemable against Shiseido cosmetics; 020 7499 7777.

Clinique counters This brand’s huge portfolio of Skin Type foundations will ensure yours behaves. Book a free on-the-spot makeover to recreate on the big day.

Teresa Fairminer & Associates represents some of the best professional hair and make-up artists in the business. To look like you’re from the cover of Brides magazine, click the wedding link at www.teresafairminer.com.

AT LEAST TRY TO RELAX

Repeat after me: “Tomorrow is just another day.” Not working? Then try these.

- Don’t drink the night before. Sobriety staves off 5am panic attacks and keeps eyes clear for photographs.

- Aromatherapy Associates Deep Relax Bath & Shower Oil (£30), with soporific sandalwood, vetiver and camomile, is said to induce sleep; it will, at the very least, soothe, and the Light Relax Bath & Shower Oil (£28), with ylang-ylang, lavender and petitgrain, will leave you refreshed and calm come morning. It can also be sprinkled on a tissue and inhaled when needs must on the day.

- Is it the hint of brandy in Bach Flower Essences that makes Rescue Remedy (from £3.95) such a steadier of nerves? The blend of five essences, including rock rose for terror and cherry plum for irrational thoughts (what if he isn’t ”the one”?), helps to curb the impulse to leg it or blub through your vows.

HOW TO LOOK GOOD IN THE PICTURES

First, the bad news. “Too much orangey-tan base, safe matt-brown eye shadow and heavy lipstick all look dingy,” says the make-up artist Lee Pycroft. “A luminising base, velvety rose blush and glossy black mascara work best to give you that natural-looking, dewy-eyed bloom that seems as if you’ve hardly tried.”

- A long-lasting, luminous foundation attracts light but not shine or flare. Benefit That Gal Brightening Face Primer (£19.50) preps skin. Maybelline Superstay Silky Foundation (£9.99) stays put for 16 hours. Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay in Place Concealer SPF 10 (£15) sorts shadows, spots and blotches.

- Dust Clinique Gentle Light Loose Powder (£18.50) on forehead, nose and chin to counter shine. Then buff a versatile blusher such as Clinique Fresh Bloom Allover Colour in posy (£23) over the apples of the cheeks.

- Sheeny taupe shadow keeps lids natural, but not dull. Blend deeper rose-brown into the sockets and a trace of chocolate into the lash roots to contour the eyes. Find those shades in Guerlain’s Ombre Eclat eye shadow quad Touche de Naturel (£16) and Serge Lutens’s eye shadow compact (£87). Rimmel Magnif’Eyes mascara (£6.99) gives eyes focus and sparkle.

- For just-bitten lips, sculpt the edges with YSL’s dusky-pink Dessin des Lèvres pencil No 17 (£13), then pat on Lip Twins Lip Duo No 3 (£21).

- Get all the rosy cheek, lip and eye colour you need from the Bobbi Brown Bridal Palette (£40).

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