I have spent roughly all my life planning my wedding. First I imagined fairy
princess extravaganzas, later my taste was for exotic betrothals in
Rajasthan. While the vision has changed regularly, the only constant has
been a lack of groom. Finally, aged 34, my prince has come, but a swollen
belly from pregnancy puts wedding plans on hold.
Instead I plan a sophisticated engagement party, where my bulge is less of a
hindrance. I imagine myself wafting on a cloud of second-trimester radiance,
with a bump so small that I still look slinky in a cocktail dress. Reality,
however, decides not to coincide with my vision, and rather than looking
pregnant, I look stout. I’ve always been tall and skinny – even puberty
didn’t do much to disrupt my silhouette (bras are decoration rather than a
source of support), so for the first time in my life my figure is changing,
and it’s slightly bewildering. My skin has also rebelled and the only thing
about me that glows is the spot on my forehead.
Lucky for me there’s a host of experts to help me to make the most of my
pregnancy. Older mothers have more disposable income and there is no
shortage of companies to help them to spend it. According to the Office for
National Statistics, the fertility rate of women aged between 30 and 34
overtook that of women aged 25 to 29 for the first time in 2004. And for
every year older a mother is, the more she earns. I am pointed in the
direction of babyplanners.co.uk,
a new company that aims to help mums-to-be to face the complexities of
pregnancy while working full time.
Mixed views on commercial approach
When I tell friends that I am having the baby bump “showing” package, which
includes an at-home styling session, bra-fitting consultation, plus a
treatment (I choose a facial and makeover) for £250, their reaction is
mixed. Some think it’s a great idea and want to sign up; others think it’s
commodifying a part of life that should be left uncommercialised. I’m not
sure. Anything that offers pampering and constructive advice is good in my
book, but I don’t like the idea of commercially exploiting something as
natural as pregnancy.
The generation gap and geographical divide between us older mums and our
parents means that we turn to countless books for advice, treat friends who
have had children like the oracle and go online to consult the numerous
forums.
This lack of knowledge and confidence makes older mums and babies a good
target for new businesses aimed at the baby buck.
A Google search for pregnancy and baby services brings up 175,000,000 results,
and includes everything from baby massage courses and nappy laundry services
to baby-shower lists, where parents-to-be draw up a present list, similar to
a wedding list. The appallingly named babeswithbabies.co.uk offers a
“breastfeeding love bracelet”, which a new mum puts on the relevant wrist to
remind her which breast her baby last fed from. Burberry has launched a
perfume for babies, Baby Touch, a mix of citrus aromas, rhubarb and vanilla;
a snip at £30 for 100ml. A recent report by the German Textiles Retailers’
Association puts the luxury market for children’s goods at £10 billion
worldwide and predicts that it will double in five years.
But can’t most mothers-to-be work out what is useful and what is overindulgent
frippery? Breastfeeding bracelets probably fall into the latter category,
whereas nappy-laundering services have their place. But I’ve discovered that
not all decisions are so instinctive. Biodegradable disposable nappies or
reusable? An expensive four-wheel drive pushchair or a bog-standard buggy?
Although there are websites to help you to evaluate these expensive
investments, you are making so many decisions at once that it’s difficult to
find time to research them all, particularly when you work full time. That’s
when the likes of babyplanners.co.uk come into their own. “We’re offering
help and support for new parents,” says Keeley Paice, the company’s founder.
“Our constant research means that we have the inside track on the best
products and services. Everything is tried and tested. The aim is to
introduce people to independent products that we’ve tried on our own kids.”
Its “babyplans”, which offer advice on what to buy from where, what to
avoid, plus information on everything from where you can exercise locally to
pregnancy support groups in your area, aren’t cheap, starting at £400.
However, for Aalia Walker, 33, a communications manager in West London, it was
a godsend. “I thought that buying the kit was the fun part, but I became
anxious and overwhelmed by it all.” Car seats, Moses baskets, cots, Grobags,
baby wipes, nappies, bath thermometers . . . it’s not all cute outfits and
cuddly toys. Walker feels that the babyplan has saved her not only time and
stress but also money. “I was looking at buggies and Keeley suggested buying
one with a single handle as it means that I can hold the hand of another
child when I have a second baby. I would never have thought of that and it
also means that I won’t have to buy a new buggy if I do have another baby.”
My own experience was probably rather more frivolous but great fun. I’ve asked
babyplanners for advice on clothes for the “bump” and bras. At my home I’m
shown lots of stylish and reasonably priced outfits by the designer Moni
(forty-weeks.co.uk) that accommodate the “bump” and work well postbaby,
allowing me to breastfeed easily.
The bra-fitting is equally helpful, and I’m given advice on what to look for
from a maternity bra by Bih Wong, a bra-fitter with ten years’ experience at
Marks & Spencer. She recommends no underwiring as it can affect the
development of milk ducts, and to go for a style that has several sets of
hooks, which allows for the broadening of the ribcage. Her favourite line is
Emily B (emily-b.co.uk); the bras have six sets of hooks so can grow with
you, and you don’t have to keep investing in new underwear.
Then a facial with some useful pregnancy skincare advice from Susan
Patterson-Smith from Return to Glory (returntoglory.co.uk). I can’t claim
that the makeover saved me money or time, but it did mean that I managed to
look slinky rather than stout for my engagement party.
Do’s and don’ts for mums
Do buy maternity wear as soon as you start turning the house upside
down for safety pins. The earlier you buy, the more use you’ll get out of
it.
Do invest in a bra that makes you feel good. And if you don’t mind
clips, invest in a pretty feeding bra: there’s a chance you’ll get back into
it once breastfeeding is established.
Don’t get stressed about booking antenatal classes before you’ve
conceived. There are some great private classes now in addition to the NCT
network and your NHS classes may do the job
Don’t buy an expensive change bag if you’re the kind of girl who
swaps handbags every other day. A nice washbag that you can put in different
bags is a safer bet.
Don’t be panicked into buying things. If you find you need
something further down the line, you can get it then. The shops won’t shut
once you’ve given birth. KEELEY PAICE www.babyplanners.co.uk
And after baby’s born . . .
BRIDGET COWAN discovers a service that handles everyday tasks for new mums
With our first baby due any day, I’d stocked the freezer, bought out
Mothercare and cleaned the skirting boards. There would be oodles of
postnatal time to decorate the nursery and make homemade thank-you cards. A
few days after Aurelia’s birth I realised how badly I’d misjudged things. I didn’t
have the energy to answer the phone, let alone to hunt for Noah’s Ark
curtains.
However, just as my husband went back to work, I was asked to road-test a
service for new mums called Baby Bundle. Into the chaos stepped Amanda Evans
and Tasha Saint-Smith, the directors of Club Concierge, which runs Baby
Bundle. Its team will shop, cook, clean and run the errands that seem like
huge challenges to new mums. For £100 a month the Baby Bundle package
includes normal Concierge Club services plus an hour a week of hands-on
help, such as shopping or cleaning.
“Our motto is that I can be whatever you want,” said Amanda. “Send your
thank-you cards, get the biscuits for tea, etc.” I asked for a handyman.
In less than two hours a nice man had put up the cot, painted the shelves
for the nursery, hung up a mirror and the bathroom blind, and removed a
giant dying pot plant. A concierge service, I discovered, is not for things
you can’t do; it’s for the things you can’t be bothered to do. Such as
spending hours on the internet booking a weekend away. We wanted to
go to London to catch up with friends. The baby expert at Club Concierge, a
mother with a six-month-old, checked out child-friendly restaurants.
Then my husband went away on business and I went to stay with my parents.
Within 24 hours, my mum fell ill with a stomach bug. I scuttled home to find
that the MoT had run out on the car. With empty cupboards, no car and no
computer, I wrote a list and posted it to Baby Bundle, who did my online
supermarket shopping.
As for the thank-you cards, I posted a disc to Tasha, who printed out 50 baby
photos, trimmed them to fit the card I’d bought and sent them back by return
of post. For more about the Baby Bundle visit thebabybundle.co.uk
; call 01707 259481 or e-mail info@thebabybundle.co.uk
