My day starts by taking my son’s absorbent and usually sodden pull-up pants off, before getting him dressed. Natalie Blechner’s day starts with a trip to the bathroom, where she sits her nappyless son Oscar on the potty. My boy is nearly 5; Oscar is only eight months, but is dry and clean during the night, using a potty by day.

Where did I go wrong? How has she managed to teach such a young child the basics of toilet training? Blechner is one of a growing number of parents practising elimination communication (EC), a process based on the notion that babies are aware of their elimination needs from birth and can communicate this to parents.

“I started off using disposables and switched to cloth nappies when Oscar was 3 months old,” says Blechner. “But I was struggling with mountains of washing and Oscar had a nasty nappy rash, so when I heard about EC I thought I’d give it a go. The first time I held him over the sink, I didn’t really expect anything to happen, but to my amazement he weed on demand and has been more or less dry ever since.”

Advocates of elimination communication (also referred to as infant potty training and natural infant hygiene) claim that their babies are clean and dry by as young as 3 months, a notion that seems impossible when I’m still struggling to get a four-year-old out of nighttime nappies. It was a similar struggle with her oldest child, Jonathan, that led Keziah Downes, to try EC with her two other children. “I started toilet training Jonathan when he was about 2½ and it wasn’t easy,” she says. “Until that point he’d done everything in his nappy. Then he was

expected to deposit in a new place. With EC, a child is familiar with a potty or toilet from a very early age. I started training my second son Oliver when he was four months old and he took to it immediately.”

Babies know when they need to go
Parents who practise EC say that newborn babies are aware when they need to go and can clearly communicate this need; we in the West have lost the knack of picking up on the signs. If you want to dispense with nappies, tune into every squirm, strain, frown or kick, and rush them to a toilet or potty, before giving a cue with a “pshhh” or “wshh” sound. Babies gradually learn how to release their muscles in response to the cue and over time they develop complete bladder and bowel control.

To a generation of mothers used to childcare experts telling them that children are unable to control their bowel or bladders until at least 18 months, throwing away the Pampers may be a step too far. This is also what Natalie Blechner thought when she first read about EC on an internet forum. “There was a posting from a mother who said she didn’t use nappies and I thought she must be a complete hippy. Then I met someone who was perfectly normal who practised it, so I thought I’d give it a go. It was hard work for a couple of weeks, but then so is conventional potty training, and once we’d picked it up, I found it easier than changing nappies.” Laurie Boucke, the author of Infant Potty Training, says that one of the most exciting things is discovering that a baby can communicate with you in ways you’d never have thought possible. “Learning to tune in and to respond to your baby’s signs is a great basis for a strong, trusting relationship with your child,” she says.

Blechner agrees. “My partner and I enjoy a closer bond with our son,” she says. “Before we started using EC we would wonder why he was fussing; now we understand him much better. He has developed lovely ways of letting us know what he wants, such as touching our faces when he wants to be put on the potty.”

There is actually nothing new about EC. In developing countries, nappy-free babies are the norm. When I told my mother that I was writing a piece about women who begin potty training from birth, she nodded as if this was quite normal. She was not shocked to hear of four-month-olds out of nappies, but is horrified that my four-year-old is still in them.

I didn’t start potty training my youngest son until he was 3, by which time he had phenomenal bladder control and, despite numerous opportunities to go to the toilet, would hold in his wee for days, until safely ensconced on the sofa, which I suppose had the padded, absorbent qualities of a nappy. That, say practitioners of EC, is because although he did his best to show me that he needed to go, I didn’t listen and effectively taught him to use his nappy, a process he later had to unlearn.

Pat Spungin, a child psychologist and the chief executive of the parenting website raisingkids.co.uk, says: “EC is a lifestyle choice and probably doesn’t suit the majority of women. But starting toilet training between 2 and 3 is probably the worst possible time to do it. At this stage toddlers become assertive and want to have control. So potty training can become a battle of wills.” In the 1950s most children were out of nappies by 18 months; in the 1960s this had moved to 2 years. Now it’s even later. Children’s bladders haven’t changed, it’s nappies that have. My mother preferred sticking us over a potty to the numerous fillings and emptyings of a twin-tub washing machine.

A life without dirty nappies
Hearing mothers tell me that they never have to deal with dirty nappies, I am willing to concede I may have been wrong. I doubt I could have done without nappies entirely but, had I heard of EC earlier, I may have tried some of the methods. And I might not be ordering a fresh supply of nighttime nappies in between hanging out wet sheets to dry.

For more information:
www.raisingkids.co.uk
www.timl.com/tt
www.urbanbabies.co.uk
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ecuk
Infant Potty Training, by Laurie Boucke and Linda Carlson

Join the discussion on potty training on Times Online's Alpha Mummy blog.

The elimination control method

Observation: Mother observes baby closely and learns when he/she usually goes, and how this relates to sleep and feeding patterns.
Body signals: Once a mum begins observing toileting habits, they often pick up that babies signal when they want to go. Common signals include fussing, squirming, grunting or becoming still.
Setting up cues: Mum takes baby to potty and provides a “cue” (perhaps making a “shhh” noise, or holding the baby in a certain position. Baby learns to associate sound with urination or defecation.
Using cues: When mum picks up that her child wants to go, she takes him to the potty and makes the cue noise, signalling that it is the right time to “go”.
Communicating: Sometimes the baby also begins to use this sound as a signal to the parent that they want to go to the toilet.

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