Health-and-fitness gadgets that promise to create a sexier, happier, you are often tempting, but soon after they’re unwrapped that promise evaporates and they end up stashed in the garage. A 2003 NOP poll says a quarter of home-fitness equipment is used only once and a tenth is never even unwrapped. When I invited nominations last month for the Landfill Prize (an award I dreamt up to name and shame the most resource-wasting products of 2007), home-gym gizmos featured highly. The iJoy Ride, below, was voted second in the judging. So here’s Body&Soul’s top examples of strange home-fitness folly. Do any of them lurk in your cupboards?

1. Walk-life balance

The WalkStation comes under the category of “Fantastic idea, but . . .” It’s a treadmill with a PC and keyboard at the front, so you can walk as you work in your home study (below). Dr James Levine, of the Mayo Clinic, worked on the design and says that users could boost their energy expenditure by 100 calories an hour. But why would anyone want to spend their working day like a corporate hamster on a conveyor belt?

2. Electric chair, anyone?

The only persuasive answer to the question, “why use a WalkStation?” is that it means you won’t have to sit on the Hawaii Chair instead. Its seat cushion is mounted on top of an electric motor and oscillates in a way that makes your hips hula all day. It looks absurdly uncomfortable, and at first I suspected it to be a brilliant satire on the wacky world of fitness. But it’s coming to a shopping channel near you. If you can’t wait, try typing “Hawaii Chair” into YouTube, and sing along to the infomercial’s ukulele tune: “If you can sit, you can get fit . . .”

3. On the slippery slope

The Power Slide is remarkably simple: you put on a pair of slippy plastic overshoes, get on to a slippery plastic ramp and try to walk up it. The idea is that you get all the leg-muscle workout that comes from sports such as ice-racing. But you’ll probably look more like Charlie Chaplin miming how to walk into a strong wind while on banana skins. It folds up neatly, so it won’t take up much space in the attic.

4. Handles with care

The Push-up Pro, meanwhile, offers a solution to a problem that may never have vexed anyone. What do you hold on to when you’re doing press-ups? Most people manage to stay happily on the floor, rather than having to rely on gripping a pair of high-tech saucepan lids. The makers boast that the Push-up Pro comes in a “set of two”, which seems to be perfectly reasonable. One? Three? No, they wouldn’t be as good.

5. Get the Flash Gordon look

How about an Eye Zone Massager? Insert a battery into these strap-on goggles and choose your massage speed: buzzy or mind-shaking. Vibes are transmitted via foam spikes pressing on points around your eyes. Do this in private unless you really want to be seen in a giant pair of black-gauzed Flash Gordon goggles. (www.eyezonemassager.co.uk)

6. Forking out for rubbish

I am unsure if the alarm-equipped fork made it into production, but the concept won approval from the US patent office (Pat. No 5,421,089, issued 1995). The inventors decided that the perfect cure for overenthusiastic eaters is a fork with a built-in timer and alarm. The handle buzzes after a set time, ensuring that eaters leave sufficient space between forkfuls to chew 32 healthy times. A must for romantic dinners.

7. Electric bathing

Mrs Thatcher was said to use an electric bath at the height of her power and such devices are now popular in Eastern Europe. The Health Spa Resort Aqua in Hungary, offers electric baths as therapy: the “galvanic current has a painkilling effect and improves the blood circulation and is recommended for rheumatism and neuralgic pains”. Again, there’s no medical evidence, though electric baths date back to the Victorian and Edwardian ages. Check out this one in a 1904 medical catalogue: www.collect-medicalantiques.com/quack3.html

8. Putting your foot in it

Bio Energiser Detox Foot Spa, anyone? Two points: first, the whole concept of detoxing has been debunked by science; secondly, why would toxins leech out of your feet? Maybe toxins are heavy and fall southwards until they fall out of your tootsies. This £150 foot spa claims that, “Toxins cause a wide variety of unpleasant symptoms, including lethargy, headaches, bad breath and body odours, flu-like symptoms and others.” The answer, say the Bio Energiser people, is an expensive foot wash. The foot salts cost extra. So that’s another lot of expensive foot wash.

9. My kingdom for a horse

The iJoy Ride is an indoor horse-riding simulator that promises to tone and trim, and even claims gives to give the “proven medical benefits” of riding, including “increased lymph flow, which boosts the immune system and help remove harmful substances from the tissues which cause conditions like cellulite”. I can find nothing in any medical research journal to support this. And the £400 device bears a disturbing resemblance to a wobbling toilet on skis. Users say that the machine’s “pitching, rolling and yawing” motions make it look as if the “rider” is enjoying an experience more erotic than equine. (www.ijoyride.co.uk )

10. The Viagra belt

Mercifully, the electric erector-belt isn’t around now (unless you know better). Electric belts were the late 19th-century’s answer to male performance anxiety. The American company, Pulvermacher was a major distributor. A weak charge was produced by a solution of sulphuric acid, vinegar, and water. The belts had a built-in genital loop to electrically charge the wearer’s male-hood. With luck, their partners were in for a shock. (For pictures, log on to www.collectmedicalantiques.com/quack2.html )

John Naish is the author of Enough: Breaking Free From the World of More (Hodder & Stoughton, £16.99). It is available from Times BooksFirst for £15.29, p&p free: 0870 1608080 or visit timesonline.co.uk/booksfirst For the full list of 2008 Landfill Prizewinners, see www.enoughness.co.uk

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