Why were those two men kissing?

Lucy, 9

While you’re taking a deep breath and wondering how far this question may take you, remember that it’s actually a good way of gauging your child’s awareness of sexual matters. By 8 or 9 years old you’ll have a rough notion of how curious your child is and how much they know already, but it’s questions like this that give you a real chance to find out.

“As a parent you should really welcome this kind of query,” says Kairen Cullen, an educational psychologist. “It’s a window into understanding where your child is developmentally and you can use that as a basis for other conversations. Sex education isn’t that old-fashioned notion when you sit down and give a lecture.”

Instead, she says, these sort of questions should form a continuum, helping them to see the bigger picture as and when they feel comfortable. In this case, the bigger picture doesn’t have to be that detailed. Don’t feel you have to dive in at the deep end. Start off shallow and see how it goes.

“The best way is to simply say this is what couples do when they like each other and want to show affection, like Mummy and Daddy do,” says Paula Hall, a sex and relationships psychotherapist. “Then you can say that sometimes a couple can be two men, or two women.” Your child may respond with more questions, or not.

Keep it simple and don’t feel you have to introduce too much information. “I’m a firm believer that children ask questions that they’re ready to hear answers for.” An inquisitive nine-year-old may well ask why or how can two men be a couple? In which case, you have to explain that fancying or liking other people is all a matter of taste. “Use examples that they’ll understand,” says Hall. “For example, say that some people love ice-cream and chocolate, others like different sorts of food. Just like food, we’re attracted to different sorts of people. We’re all different.”

The next logical question could be: can they have babies? “You’ll need to explain that only women can have babies, but it’s a good opportunity to explain that, even so, everyone can be parents; men can adopt and so can women,” says Hall.

Take cues from your child’s response, says Gaynor Sbuttoni, an educational psychologist. “Depending on how they ask the question, you can say, ‘That sounds like it’s confusing you’. In this way, you can read back how they’re feeling to help them make sense of the issue.”

If you would like answers to tricky questions, just e-mail body&soul@thetimes.co.uk

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