Mackenzie Crook
Attend a special evening hosted by Mike Atherton
I've spent as much time as possible in my eight acres of Essex woodland since I bought it in January, but I'd not managed to stay the night - until last week. It's just that nobody's been around and I didn't really want to go on my own.
Not that I was scared. I love the woods. The thing is, it's filled with birds and deer when you first get there but, before long, they get wise to your presence and make themselves scarce.
It's too strong to say that it's creepy, but the sense that I am not really invited is all around (I've always avoided scuba diving for the same reasons) and I've always imagined that this feeling can only intensify at night.
But as part of my project to catalogue the flora and fauna in the woods, I've treated myself to the Actinic Skinner Moth Trap 12v (simple, stylish). The 12v power a lamp to attract the moths, not to electrocute them. They then fall into a chamber where they spend a comfortable night before being photographed and released.
But you need darkness if you're planning on a bout of moth trapping. So I persuaded Jude, my five-year-old son, to accompany me for the night. Not that I was scared, you understand.
The first thing we came across was a decomposing crow carcass. Thankfully I don't believe in omens because this would have been a really bad one. Possibly one of the worst. But we put the dead bird out of our minds and spent a jolly hour pitching the tent, collecting firewood and setting the trap.
As darkness fell and we tucked into our baked potatoes, the true owners of the woodland showed up. Swarms of aggressive, rain-forest mosquitoes who couldn't believe their luck swarmed around our faces and wrists. The ground seemed alive with a carpet of wood-ants, shiny black beetles and strange leggy spiders.
Jude decided that he was tired and was soon tucked up asleep in the tent. That's when it got really quiet. And dark. It wasn't long before I decided to hit the sack too. It was a restless night for me. Jude slept soundly.
In the morning we discovered a bees' nest the size of a basketball hanging from a branch directly over the tent, just like you see in the cartoons. Just as well we didn't see it earlier.
And the moth trap? It was a raving success yielding lots of species and a few spectacular specimens (if you like that sort of thing.) All in all it was an exciting first night in the woods. I think Jude was a bit scared, but I wasn't.
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