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You claim to have cleaned up your act, but you’re rarely photographed without a drink. How healthy are you?
I’ve learnt to be good to myself. Even if I go out on the town, I go to bed early, around 10pm, and I get up at 7.30 most mornings. It is not what people expect. I eat only good, fresh, healthy food. I don’t smoke, take drugs, or eat chocolate.
When did you stub out the devil’s weed?
Two years ago. I smoked 60 fags on Christmas Day, then went home and just stopped. Smoking is absolutely hideous, almost criminal. People who smoke are mentally deranged. There is not one single thing that is good about holding a burning ember two inches away from your cheek.
You’ve seen the light?
It was more a realisation that I had been coming to over ten years. I just think that if I can do it, anyone can.
Fitter for it?
My metabolism went really weird, and I put on two stone in weight, which was pretty frightening.
Substitute food for fags?
Food definitely became more of a pleasure. But I don’t want to go around looking like a walnut anyway. I want to be healthy and being really skinny isn’t a good look for a woman my age.
Are you a gym bunny?
I’m an obsessive swimmerand have been since 1994. If I don’t swim, I just go into a physical and mental downward spiral. I need to get my lungs activated and feel oxygen pumping around my body.
Didn’t you once cut your chin open in the pool?
I was 11, and climbing out of the pool. As I pushed up on the edge with my hands, I slipped and went whack on the side of the pool. There was blood everywhere and I passed out. I now have a scar an inch long on my chin.
How else do you keep mind and body in shape?
I started having acupuncture in 1989, initially on the NHS, for addiction problems with smoking. It didn’t help me to quit but it gave me the energy to go swimming, and as long as I felt well enough to swim, I felt well enough to smoke. I still go for acupuncture. It balances you up, especially if you are like me and get blocked energy. I don’t have enough sex, which is a big, big problem.
Still desperate to have a child?
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m probably not going to now because I haven’t met the right person to have a child with.
Have you considered adoption?
I don’t think they would let me anywhere near the door. All they have got to do is read my CV and take one look at my bed and I’m done for. Plus, it is almost impossible to adopt in Britain. It would be easier to have a baby myself.
Do you use art as a form of therapy?
No, but it is a problem solver. If I’m making work or writing, often I realise that I’ve sorted something out for myself.
Ever tried therapy for real?
I did once, for six months. If you are very emotional, very sensitive and very prima donna-ish, like me, it helps to talk to someone objective.
Surely you don’t need to revisit childhood trauma?
It was more to hear the sort of good, sound advice that you need sometimes. It just made me realise that when bad things happen, they are not all joined up. For example, because a taxi driver is a complete idiot, it is nothing to do with the fact that nearly every relationship I’ve had hasn’t worked. Because there was a mistake on the private view cards, it has nothing to do with the fact that I was sexually abused as a child.
Do you think emotional and physical health are linked?
I do. The smallest upset and I’m keeling over all over the place.
So you are good at being ill?
I’m fantastic at being ill. I used to have the most horrendous herpes on my face for years. It would always flare up whenever I was overdoing it, or had something important on, such as an exhibition opening or dinner with someone I really fancied.
How do you chill out?
I have a cat, Docket. It is such a cliché but stroking a cat makes me feel really good.
Would you ever consider going under the knife?
No — I’ve got big, Nubian breasts, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I had my front teeth knocked out when I was a teenager, and had some put in; it’s not the end of the world.
How did you lose your teeth?
I lost one when my brother head-butted me. Another broke off when I was mucking about with the bit of gold paper that’s inside a cigarette packet. At 13, I had no front teeth. It wasn’t a good time.
You’ve donated work to Amnesty’s Imagine A World exhibition. Is charity good for the soul?
It is not a charity thing. I just believe it is our duty as other human beings to support people who need supporting.
AMBER COWAN
Amnesty’s Imagine the World, part of its Protect the Human campaign, is at Bargehouse, London SE1, until December 11
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