Fay Weldon
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A decade after Wannabe, the bestselling single by a female group in the history of recorded sound, the Spice Girls have brought out a new single. It serves as a prelude to the world tour the group are set to embark upon next month. The whole thing is tragic: the song, the tour, what life has done to the girls in the past 10 years – not to mention what’s happened to the society they helped to create.
I wish they weren’t doing any of it. I wish they would stay at home, grow old gracefully and look back in wonder at how once they walked hand in hand with the zeitgeist. Because I do not think that this time the zeitgeist is with them, nor they with it.
In their new song, Headlines, they sing: “I wanna tell the world I’m giving it up for you.” Oh, really? The video is soft porn without the sex – all tricky lighting, ditzy angles, phoney enthusiasm and calculated lies. Victoria is in bondage gear. Those bubbly, boisterous, noisy, tuneful, natural girls have turned themselves into airbrushed, skinny, desperate housewives, overanxious to entice, ribs showing, faces blank from Botox. And now they’re all mothers, except Sporty, the one with the voice, who still looks halfway human and who not even airbrushing can help.
I hope I’m wrong. Perhaps everyone will love the single – even buy it. But that’s a rare thing these days, the slump in record sales being what it is, the reason why so many groups are having to get themselves back together again and go on tour.
The original impudent, slightly anarchic Spice Girls caught the spirit of the 1990s with songs of girl power and disdain for men: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”; “Come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get it on, ‘cause tonight is the night when two become one”; “I wanna make you holler, and hear you scream my name”. I do not think the zeitgeist will attend skeletal girls singing, in effect, “Love me, love me, love me, please, I’m so worried in case you don’t”. Though you never know.
I have defended these girls for a long time, since first I heard Wannabe back in the John Major era and watched the five Spices come leaping and prancing, practically bare bummed, into a room full of men in suits, defying and taunting. The tunes were catchy, energetic, the lyrics brashly brilliant, coherent, convincing. If they were pernicious as well, I overlooked it. Spice Girls songs swept through the school playgrounds like a plague of nits. Boys? Take ’em or leave ’em, preferably ditch ’em. We’re in control now! And if little girls took to sexy dressing and provocation, and their mothers egged them on – well, the Spice Girls were surely a symptom, not the disease itself.
And if that energising, “down with men” girl power devolved down to estate level to create a new female climate of disrespect, with a lot of swearing at mums and thumping of teachers, a careless sexuality, fancying and pulling, not loving – creating as a complement an equivalent male breed of skulking, vandalising hoodies – you could hardly blame the Spice Girls. Could you? They were just a pop group, artificially created by cunning managers who saw a future in girl groups after a 10-year rule by boybands.
If boys became the new girls, nervous of sex for fear of failure, old-fashioned and blundering, their macho malehood discredited – “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends” – it was just another song: don’t blame the Spice Girls. A new breed of anorexic,bulimic, drunken girlhood on our street corners, indifferent to icy winds, bringing up their bile over the white-trainered feet of noble paramedics? Surely not because of lyrics sung by a generation of impressionable little girls – “Well it was Saturday night, I know the feeling was right”? It couldn’t be as simple as that.
And then the zeitgeist drifted off and the group disbanded. Geri somehow went on to be a UN ambassador, Nelson Mandela somehow came into the picture, and thus world peace was promoted. Victoria married Becks, and a great deal of celebrity, money and spending was involved. Scandal hovered near Becks for a while, but he was truly beautiful asleep and scored goals for England, so everything was forgiven. Victoria managed to have three children in spite of being so thin, and was evidently a good mother. I saw her on an LA chat show recently and liked what I saw: she seemed perfectly intelligent and rather charming. Everyone else seemed to dislike her and find her false, but I put that down to envy. The others in the group seemed to have faded out of sight. Their time was surely past.
But, suddenly, the Spice Girls regroup as Spice “women”. I watch the video of Headlines and am appalled. The world has moved on. They should rename themselves the Dorian Grays – they are moving paintings, not real people at all – they have other, sinister versions of their true selves elsewhere. Maybe Victoria was always wearing bondage gear at heart, for all she sang about girl power and punched the air and urged us all to “Get it on!”
Those songs, I now see, were indeed insidious, fed as they were into a vulnerable society; Mr Blair was moving into No 10 with his guitar, and cool new Britannia was upon us. If Wag culture was to take over; if too many newly empowered girls were to end up with monstrous credit-card debts from buying too much bling; if little girls in the playground would move up to anorexia, bulimia, failing livers and chlamydia from too many alley encounters after pub and club, blame it on the Spice Girls. They took the inheritance of the serious, middle-class feminists of 30 years back and squandered it. This was not the girl power we had in mind. We didn’t believe the law of unintended consequences applied to us. Whoever does?
Fay Weldon’s new novel, The Spa Decameron, is published by Quercus (£14.99)
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Just posting to say a hearty thank you to Gavin. You said everything that needs to be said.
As for the Spice Girls, I didn't care then and I don't care now.
Theena, Colombo, Sri Lanka
When wannabe came out, I was at the age when the latest songs came before school work. Humming to a spice girls song was a routine. Collecting posters even if it meant spending every last bit of my money. I swore my life to the spice craze! I was the Baby-wannab of our school's very own spice girls. Its embarrassing to think of it now. I knew the reunion wouldn't work. Geri & Vic always try to out-thin each other, kids to look after etc.,etc. The only reason its so hyped up is that their recording company spends a fortune advertising & ADVERTISING. I doubt they can get along well; previously Geri left the group. Probably they thought they could pocket their diehard fans $ by releasing an inaudible song coupled with a trash-worthy skin exposing video which took no intelligence to plan. Even their Tesco advert is much more interesting!
Wong, Malaysia,
My niece in now fourteen. At the high of girl power, some six years ago, I became her favourite uncle when I bought her the spice girl dolls for christmas. Last week, I asked her about the spice reunion and she was noticeably embarrased. Please, she remarked. Just leave me alone.
I guess the original spice fan club just wants to be left alone and spared this idea of a comeback.
Richard Francis, Toronto, Ontario,
We have a girls' toy called BRATZ on sale in UK shops aimed at pre-teens. They have unnaturally big heads, moody and aggressive expressions, exude lots of 'attitude' and seemingly offer precious little else. Thanks for kick-starting that line of thinking Spice Girls .... or as I prefer to think of you 'Pop Tartz'
Mike Rochester, Lochinver, Sutherland UK
Yeh just like everything else, if cd album/single sales are lower than expected "omg its because of piracy!" Eh, if they so want to come back, why not? I miss Emma and those white platform boots but hey times change right?
Just please don't let the media start on about how piracy is killing cd sales, if people made music which was worth listening to; they'd buy it? Quit looking for a scapegoat.
Gavin, Newcastle, UK,
They're each making $20 million (£10 million). Who wouldnât return for that? All have children and not all are married. Money comes in handy with children to feed & educate.
I say let them return, just donât take the soul of my children with you.
Apres Ski, Cheshire, UK
I was never a fan of the Spice Gilrs music but they are great & very refreshing - they stick two fingers up at male dominance in a light hearted, fun and entertaining way & why not? Is music supposed to be academic or entertaining? They are all mostly mums and working in some capacity! - Good for them! I would rather be a spice girl than work in a boring office! They got lucky, good on them! No one knocked Wham for singing about being on the dole!
Katie Coppinger, Plymouth, Devon
What with the fake boobs, the fake tans, the fake nails and the fake hair pieces and the dreadful clothes and the not so clever songs which did NOT capture anything about girl power.....and that was what I thought of them 10 yearsago...why oh why did they regroup...?? they must have needed the money...thats it eh?? They have done nothing noteworthy for women at all yet keep on about girl/woman power...do I see any womens organisations they have set up and run??? nooooo....do I see any female orientated campaigns they have run /?...noooooo/.....do I see any safety campaigns against female violence or degradation?? noooooo...
10 years on their girl power ideology still remains unexplained
ruby cooper, nice, france
i am sorry but this is a load of nonsence. you cannot blame the spice girls for every problem. you have to face facts, they were massive from 96 right up until geri left the band. Every time the tv was turned on it was the spice girls you would see all their singles number 1, 2 and everyone within the top 10 at least. they just wanna have fun, they are all much prettier now and are all proud mum's except mel c. people should leave them alone and stop denying the fact that we all love them! and im sorry but the video isnt that bad i have seen much worse lately.
Rhiannon, Newport, UK
I do agree that the "Headlines" video is bad, and the girls, specially Victoria and Geri, couldn't look more plastic. In my opinion, if they decided to get back together is because the FANS asked for it, and yes, maybe they want to have fun and have more money on their bank accounts....and, by the way, Melanie C, is the only one in this group that has show us that she has a great voice, she's the only one who continued in the singing business, i mean, she has 4 albums in solo. Take care.
Lilian Salas, Mexico City, Mexico
No I do not want them back, I didn't want them the first time either. If I ignore them will they go away, quickly!
Martha, Cambridge,
After reading this article I went to You Tube to watch the Spice video and all I can say is Oh Dear, someone should stop them. Very well said Ms. Weldon.
Daniela, Vienna, Austria
I agree with Braulio. I was shocked to read Ms Weldon's comment about airbrushing Melanie C (Sporty). Apart from the fact that she doesn't need airbrushing it is this sort of emphasis on looks in the media that is the source of many problems among today's children and young adults.
Gill, London,
i agree with everything the writer say..im only 21 but i lived the 'age' of the spice girls craze and now the innocent memories i had of them has disappeared thanks to their new awful video and their plastic surgerys/botox! oh dear!
noura, coventry, United Kingdom
We all know the Spice Girls were mere window dressing. The talent lay in the song-writing, production and clever publicity -- that was nothing to do with them. It was the start manufactured celebrity. Rubbish.
steve clark, Singapore,
With all due respects to the writer, I think she thinks about this stuff a little too much. I doubt if the Spice Girls, themselves have broken this down to such an extent. I think they just 'wanna have fun'.
K. Bennett, Kansas City, USA
It is true that the Spice Girls have changed throughout the years. Age has certainly made some of them more insecure. But yet, Victoria and Geri are responsible for their bodies and can do with it what they desire. Although, what you say about "Sporty, who not even airbrushing can help" concerns me. Is this the message you want to be sending out to girls? That a woman who looks decent and like so many others is ugly? Victoria's fake breasts and Geri's thiness won't make girls rush to do operations or stick fingers up their throat, but attaking another woman's looks will. Many women in the UK would consider themselves lucky to look like Melanie C, and yet your article says that their beauty is not sufficient. Don't try to blame anorexia on the Spice Girls (and on other starlets) but rather blame it on yourself and the rest of the media. Please take note of the influence you have on young girls (and even on the stars themselves), and do your part to stop this madness.
Braulio, Sugar Land, Texas, United States
I couldn't agree more Fay, I watched the music video with horror. Let them stay in the 90's, and leave reunion tours to groups whose members can sing, and play instruments...
Shelley, Canberra, ACT, Australia
I want the spice girls to stay because then it will bring more music to the world and because i love them.
Abbie, Springfield,Ipswich, Australia, QLD