I’ve been in Beijing and, naturally, I’ve been shopping. Beijing women love Brit style, but who gets it best? In Burberry, they played that song about falling in love on the Tube to Walthamstow. In Marc Jacobs – an American who does the Brit look better than we do – there was footage of London’s beautiful people at a party: Pixie, Agyness, Vicky Hervey! All looked delectable – and trollied. I think you know which look conveyed Britishness more convincingly.

THE NEW BERLIN?

Beijing could be the next frontier for artists looking for cheap rents. Burnt out from fake-designer-handbag shopping, and rejected by the guards at the Olympic stadium – who wouldn’t accept cash for a commie-chic greatcoat – I took shelter in a shop called Plastered. Its T-shirts are made by an English former public schoolboy who settled here 15 years ago. Up the road is Grifted, a collective of foreigners who design funny puppets. If I could speak Mandarin, and it weren’t so cold, and there weren’t any other, er, obstacles to self-expression, I might stay, too.

CHING CHING

This week’s need-to-know musical genre and football’s new soundtrack – bassline house.

Rio Ferdinand asked producer T2 for a mix CD of his music, which then found its way into the dressing rooms of Chelsea, Man City and Man Utd. Now Becks is said to have T2’s big tune, Heartbroken feat Jodie Aysha, as his ring tone.

Listen out for the sound of £35,000-a-week salaries being counted, Evisu jeans being pressed and Range Rover Sports being revved.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

I also took in the Spectator’s chic little soiree at the Dorchester to celebrate the launch of Borrie J’s presidential – sorry, mayoral – bid for London. He gratefully received my style advice, but just as I was telling him that blue isn’t always best for a blond, he was whisked away by a striking girl in a thigh-skimming black dress that looked as if it could be entirely removed if you undid the zip.

Cripes! Who was she? Only Phoebe Vela, the Speccie’s chief of communications. Watch out, Ken – this Barbie is coming to get you.

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