As if there wasn't enough joy in watching Macca v Mucca, how glorious it was that the end of the case should also highlight matters of sartorial concern.

First we had Heather's suit. Of course, it's true that every court needs a jester, and Heather doesn't appear to have had any competition for the role of chief loop. Sir Paul may dye his hair a funny colour, but it hardly qualifies him as a joker. But where, Heather, was the plain black, grey or navy two-piece that you should have worn? Preferably over a white shirt? We know that you're going to be a bit strapped with only £24.3 million in the coffers but Next does them, you know, and they're very nice.

Then we had Sir Paul's shoes - thick rubber soles, black suede uppers and possibly Velcroed. Heaven forbid that Shrek should ever split up with Princess Fiona, but if he does they're what he'll wear for his day in court. Loveable perhaps, great for bounding through swampy forests, but strange.

As if that wasn't enough excitement, we were then treated to before-and-after sightings of Fiona Shackleton. Before the soaking by the jester's glass of water she looked like a cross between a Charlie's Angel and Hyacinth Bucket - dated, middle-aged and stuffy. Admittedly, it is a look that may play well with judges who like scary women, but not a good look all the same. Post-soaking, the wet-look Shackleton had turned into a tousled vamp.

“She looked like Camilla before, really aged, like a granny,” says Hari, the Times hair expert. “It took ten years off her. Cool. Even her outfit looked better.”

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