Prince’s (private) show of solidarity

Will nobody stand shoulder to shoulder with the Dalai Lama? Gordon Brown is to meet the lover of fine footwear in Lambeth Palace, not Downing Street, and now Clarence House tells us that even the Prince of Wales will only be hosting a “private meeting”.

Why such discretion? Prince Charles is a long-term friend of the monk, and a critic of China’s “appalling old waxworks”.

A theory. The Prince’s flagship Foundation for the Built Environment is helping with the renovation of Chinatown in London, and is about to hold consultations with locals. Was somebody worried that nobody would turn up?

Speaking of waxworks, we bring you yet another update on the feud between Madame Tussauds and Gordon Brown. After an online poll of 6,000 people the waxworks museum has decided, definitely, that the Prime Minister will not be immortalised in wax unless he wins an election. “The UK public simply don’t want to see Gordon Brown in the attraction,” says Edward Fuller, general manager, perhaps over the sound of an already shaky cow being brutally milked to death.

Publicists have been e-mailing journalists to plug Charlotte Johnson-Wahl, a contemporary artist, and the mother of a chap called Boris. So cruel! When will this modest, shy and retiring family finally be left in peace?

A reader gets in touch, to inform us of her alarm at learning that a rival newspaper (clue: it’s a broadsheet) has written to her son, offering him a credit card. According to the blurb, the card, “comes with a £15,000 credit limit and gives access to impressive benefits” including “three complimentary bottles of wine” and a personal assistant who will “even arrange a wedding”.

Sounds enticing! And yet, for now, we understand that Ben Haslegrave, 7, will be sticking to cash.

Launching her show The Duchess in Hull ITV1), Sarah Ferguson laid into the Daily Mail’s Allison Pearson for calling her daughter, Beatrice, a “pampered Miss Piggy” and using the phrase “pear-shaped”.

Of course, any mum would be furious at this invasion of privacy. But that wasn’t what bothered Fergie. “Can we focus on the fact that she’s a healthy size 10?” she stormed.

A drubbing for Jacqui Smith as she fielded phone calls on BBC Radio 5 Live on the reclassification of cannabis. One caller, Nathan, brought up the Home Secretary’s own (admitted) drug history, and questioned her suitability for the role.

“Had I been wuh wuh wuh of this was that was uhuhuh a lengthy period of time ago,” retorted Smith, sounding straight as anything.

As the Royal Hall in Harrogate undergoes a £2.7 million restoration project, we find ourselves perusing its list of performers from the last century. The 1920s looked pretty good. There’s Anna Pavlova, the ballerina, and Vladimir de Pachman, the pianist. And between them, on April 30, 1920, “The Rolling Stones, variety act”. Wow. We knew they were old, but . . .

Postscript

Congratulations to Sir Terry Wogan, who nudges up behind Boy George to come second in this year’s GT (formerly Gay Times magazine), readers’ awards. “It just goes to show we’re not all disco bunnies,” says editor Joseph Galliano. And that Tel is the perfect presenter for the Eurovision Song Contest.

A prestigious North American premiere on June 8 for Madonna’s directorial debut Filth and Wisdom – the Provincetown International Film Festival. It is hoped pop’s elder stateswoman will attend. She did when the critically panned movie had its world premiere in Berlin. The only problem, will she be able to find Princeton, Massachusetts, (population 3,431) on the map?

No chance of a Stranglers reunion, then. The band’s former frontman Hugh Cornwell tells The Word magazine it’s not on, even if the fans want it. “F*** the fans. They got 17 years of us together. Wasn’t that enough? What do you want, blood?” Just walk on by.

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