Triumphant BoJo batted to whiff-whaff wheeze

Boris Johnson delighted delegates with his ripsnorting Conservative conference speech. But would David Cameron be happier if the London Mayor now vacated the spotlight?

Boris bounded into a drinks party thrown by Caroline Spelman, where the party’s official leader was trying not to look triumphalist. “Oi, Dave,” shouted BoJo, still on a high from his ovation. “Are you going to lend me your pass?” The look on Cameron’s face suggested this was not high on his agenda. “They’ve only given me a two-day pass for conference and you have a full week’s one,” complained the mayor, eyeballing the leader’s accreditation.

“That’s because you’re meant to be back in London running the capital,” said the boss. “We can’t have you loafing around here all week.” So, in the tradition of all great stand-ups, Boris is here for “one night only”. But he does have a wizard wheeze for when he returns to London: the resumption of his Beijing battle over the authorship of table tennis. “We’re going to have an exhibition in City Hall about the history of ping-pong, whiff-whaff and gossima. We will find out once and for all who invented the game.”

Simon Schama is urging Barack Obama to get stuck in. “Obama needs to be much more proactive; he needs a little blood on his fingertips,” the historian tells Radio Times. Professor Schama, who presents a new series called The American Future for BBC Two, adds: “It’s very much up to the Democrats to show the voters just how seriously to the right Sarah Palin is. She makes George Bush look like Karl Marx.”

Backpack keeps Vulcan down

The Face: Zachary Quinto

With his beetle-brows and glacial stare, Zachary Quinto was always destined to play villains or Vulcans.

The American actor, who returns to BBC screens tomorrow in Heroes, brings an air of menace to Sylar, the super-powered serial killer.

Born in Pittsburgh to an Italian-Irish family, Quinto was close to giving up his profession after a career in minor television roles. The fandom attracted by Heroes will be nothing compared to his next appearance, adopting the pointed ears of Mr Spock in an eagerly awaited Star Trek prequel.

Despite his intense look, Quinto, 31, has adopted the laid-back mores of his LA home, backpacking around Europe during breaks in Heroes filming, a sight that must have unnerved inter-railing students.

“I say there’s nothing better to keep your feet on the ground than the weight of a backpack,” says Quinto, whose Sylar is said to be back to his evil brain-shredding best.

Could Led Zeppelin embark on a world tour without Robert Plant? The rumblings of a Plant-free jaunt grow louder after the wailer ruled himself out officially. “I wish Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham nothing but success with any future projects,” said Plant, who plans to leave the concert stage for at least two years. Perhaps a “Zep Idol” series could uncover a suitably hairy-chested replacement.

Like millions before him, Rod Stewart executes a near-perfect embarrassing dad move in an LA park. If he had read yesterday’s Times he would have learnt that children’s brains feel acute mortification when parents try to be hip

Members of the British Association for Shooting and Conservation were furious when fringe-goers at the Conservative Party conference tucked into a spread outside their lunch meeting. “They’re stealing our food,” cried one, while another ordered delegates not to touch the cheese rolls. Don’t argue with the holder of a shotgun certificate.

Postscript

Kristin Scott-Thomas believes that texting has led to an increase in audiences for subtitled films. “They’re not afraid of them. It’s one of the upsides of text-messaging and e-mail. Maybe the only good thing to come of it,” she tells The New York Times, from way up on top of her tall, and possibly creme-coloured building.

Oona King, MP, shared with us her reasons for becoming a politician at Gold, an event to kick off the Cultural Olympiad, at Shoreditch Town Hall on Saturday. “It’s mainly luck - being in the right place at the right time”, she said, adding that it was also because of her mum. “She’s the most honest person in the world. How often do you meet someone like that? It’s not hereditary by the way,” she added. Oh, Oona, can’t you just lull us into a false sense of security instead?

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