SAFETY PIN NOT INCLUDED

To Selfridges for the launch of the Olsen twins’ latest fashion line, Elizabeth and James. During suitably teeny, tiny sushi nibbles, the twins came out and kissed everyone hello, before talking us through the collection. And while Alexa Chung and Pixie Geldof didn’t hang around to hear their styling tips, I did. Luckily Mary-Kate thought the rip in my McQueen jacket — emergency mended with a safety pin en route — was there on purpose. And she, too, was working her way through a fashion crisis: thigh-high boots that were too, well, high. “I’m so tiny, I have to scrunch them down, otherwise they look like pants, see?” But that’s two in one, I told her, and she had to agree. So there you have it: money-saving tips for a miniature fashion icon/billionaire.

TALK IT LIKE TINA

Dinner-party conversation just got easier, thanks to Tina Brown’s news and views website, The Daily Beast. Brown (above) says it enables you “to lead the conversation, rather than follow it”, thanks to morsels from her famous friends — you know, Clinton, Albright, Amanpour and co.

So now you can start your musings, “According to Bill . . .” And end, perhaps, with, “Put that in your cigar and smoke it.”

A POUT TURN

Cometh the season, cometh the woman. And having seen her in the forthcoming film Changeling, the woman for this hour is most definitely Angelina Jolie (right). Calm in the face of a crisis, she is a vision of 1920s restraint: so pale, so mysterious, so managing to make brown and tan stockings look sexy. I predict a run on cloche hats at M&S (below), and a sellout of lip plumper — those puppies looked big, big, big.

ONE BORN EVERY DAY

The sun may have set on Ibiza’s Blue Marlin for this year, but if you’ve still got some champagne to spray, head to Dubai. Post-Ramadan, the party crowd are descending on the Plastik Beach Club, a private island, restaurant and nightclub that comes complete with a helipad, a boat park for your gin palace and a clothing line called Trust Fund — a term they kindly translate: “There’s a ‘trust fund baby’ born every day. The privileged few hale [sic] from wealthy families and live where Ferraris, diamonds and designer dogs are as standard.” I think I’ll leave them to it.

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