BBC loses Dave in cyberspace

Everyone knows that the BBC is run by crypto-communists. Now Ed Vaizey, the Conservative media spokesman, has discovered a sinister high-tech conspiracy. “Is the BBC iPlayer left-wing?” the MP asks.

Like all loyal Tories, Vaizey wants to watch David Cameron’s party conference speech on the popular web catchup service. But the address is unobtainable. A BBC tech-head says that the iPlayer experienced “technical difficulties” when the IT bods tried to upload Cameron.

The technical team was unable to resolve the problem “within the seven days’ availability”. A week is a long time in politics and Cameron’s address is now past its sell-by date.

As a sop, the Cameron oration was repeated at 4am last Sunday on the BBC Parliament Channel.

He said: “No one will ever take lectures from politicians about responsibility unless we put our own house in order.” So perhaps it’s best if the great oration remains lost in cyberspace after all.

We don’t blame Mervyn King for wanting to run to the hills. “I’d love to go for a walk on the moors above Hebden Bridge when this crisis is finally over,” the wistful Bank of England Governor told the Yorkshire Post. So now we know, a Hiking Merv means that the recovery has begun.

Burt Bacharach is saying a little prayer for Barack Obama. “I sent him an e-mail after the last debate,” the lounge lizard tells us after delivering a songwriting masterclass at the BBC Electric Proms. “I recommended he hire David Gergen [former counsel to Presidents Nixon, Ford and Reagan]. I really hope Obama wins. I can’t understand McCain picking Sarah Palin.”

Postscript

Our New York spy spotted Piers Morgan on 6th Avenue. “Don’t tell anyone but I’m here to spice up The Apprentice,” he said. Donald Trump made Morgan a Celebrity Apprentice last year. Oh, we assumed Piers actually meant “tell everyone . . .”

Keith Allen is Long John Silver in a West End production of Treasure Island: “I’m really never out of a codpiece. You do get a lot for your money though.”

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