Missing poppy was wardrobe malfunction

We never imagined that Girls Aloud harboured secret republican sympathies, but BBC Radio Ulster was in a phone-in ferment yesterday after Nadine Coyle failed to wear a Remembrance Sunday poppy during the group’s GMTV performance.

Coyle, from Londonderry, once insisted on an Irish flag on the cover of an album by the television-created quintet. Her apparent decision to join Jon Snow among the ranks of poppy refuseniks went down badly on the daily radio show, hosted by Stephen Nolan. An insult, complained angry listeners, preparing to burn copies of Something Kinda Ooooh.

A wardrobe malfunction, say the girls. “There were problems with the poppy being attached to Nadine’s dress,” says a spokesman. “It was on for the first interview on the sofa but fell off before she was going on for the second chat. It was a live TV show so she couldn’t stop to get it reattached. Nadine totally supports the memory of the soldiers.”

When asked by GMTV why her accent now had a transatlantic twang, Coyle snapped: “The American accent actually started off in Ireland, so if we’re talking about dialects, they’re copying me, all right?”

Atomic lifestyle for this kitten

The Face: Kerry Katona

One day Kerry Katona’s car-crash life will make a grand opera, but until then the daily convulsions are fuel for daytime television’s inquisitors. The latest low for the mother of four, who has survived bankruptcy, drug addiction, a knifepoint robbery and a brief marriage to a member of Westlife, was a bizarre “slurring” appearance on This Morning.

Katona, still only 28, said that her poor performance was because of the drugs that she is prescribed for bipolar disorder. Mark Croft, her second husband, made the point forcefully to Phillip Schofield.

Since her fleeting pop fame with Atomic Kitten, the former topless model has kept the publicist Max Clifford on speed-dial. She has been queen of the jungle in I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! and the face of Iceland (frozen foods), while her failings as a mother are debated in supermarket checkout magazines.

Her recent breast reduction operation was filmed live for MTV . . . the girl just cannot help it.

Jack Nicholson has finally spoken of that “unfortunate business with a two-iron and a windscreen” that left a paparazzo’s Mercedes in disrepair. “I expected the golf club to shatter the first time,” the lothario tells GQ .

“Graphite shatters. I’ve watched them try to break windscreens on movie sets for ever. You can’t do it. So when I took that swing, I was kind of stunned that the head of the club went - kthoom! - right through the glass.”

No remorse from the Firle Bonfire Society, in East Sussex, after igniting a 20ft effigy of Gordon Brown to cheers from revellers. “We have permission from Downing Street to do this and we are blowing you up,” was their polite message to the PM. The form isn’t on the No 10 website.

“Wouldn’t it be wonderfully reassuring for women if Madonna led the way by getting off the relentless treadmill of career perfection simply to be a nurturing mother for a while?,” asks Ulrika Jonsson in Hello! If not Ulrika, then just whom will Madge listen to?

eBay bidding will close on election night for one-off presidential Cabbage Patch dolls. Neither party will feel flattered, but the Palin doll might actually be based on Tina Fey

Postscript

Recognition for Robert Smith after the Cure were named Godlike Genius award winners by NME. “The job I do often brings you feelings of omnipotence, hand in hand with taking vast amounts of drugs,” he muses.

- “Nine times out of ten, when I put the word out that I want songs, the stuff I get delivered is about sex,” complains Tom Jones. Well, he started it.

- A Bill to improve food labelling will be introduced today by Richard Bacon, MP.

- Got a story to tell? people@ thetimes.co.uk

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