Pitbull with lipstick lets MP down gently

Edward Leigh’s heart pounded as he, the dashing MP and defender of traditional Conservative principles, tore open the letter. The headed paper read: “State of Alaska, Office of the Governor, Juneau.” He held it to his nostrils. Yes, this was it!

Was it really six months since he first espied her? “Westminster politics had left me feeling a little jaded,” Edward had written in his journal. “Then I watched Sarah Palin’s address to the Republican National Convention. Now I feel absolutely reinvigorated.”

They must meet. “Thank you for your very kind letter inviting me to dinner at the House of Commons,” replied Mrs Palin (a little tardily, he thought). “While it is not possible at this time to take advantage of your kind invitation to dine with the Cornerstone Group of Conservative MPs, thank you for the invitation.”

And yet, she left him with a tantalising pledge. “I have asked our Office of International Trade to be available to answer any questions you may have about Alaska. God Bless.” And God bless Mrs Palin.

“Another vexatious episode with the BBC,” blogs Katie Snape, a Sky News booker. The problem? There’s only one Vince Cable. “They have this habit of demanding ‘exclusivity’ on an interview – a habit I’ve always found slightly curious as our elected parliamentarians might, at a stretch, belong in some way to their constituents but not, one would hope, to the BBC. I did have Vince Cable [for Sunday Live]. That was until the Politics Show declared him ‘theirs’.” The Beeb bumped Cable in the end while Sky got Chris Huhne MP. Honours even?

The First Sea Lord has been told to pack away his bangers after sparking a security scare at Twickenham. Sir Jonathon Band innocently told an MoD journal that he and his wife liked nothing better than a prematch barbecue in the rugby stadium’s car park. But nothing gets past the spooks, who decided that it was a security risk to let the man responsible for Britain’s nuclear deterrent sizzle steaks in such a public place. If you see a hungry-looking chap in full navy regalia at Twickers, toss him a burger.

St Bob Geldof has suffered for saving the world. “I got bitten near my left eye by a spider or something about two years ago when I was on a trip to Africa and now it puffs up once or twice a month,” he said at the Eliminating World Poverty Conference (the “eliminating capitalism” event last year seems to have been a great success). But the campaigner hasn’t lost his edge. What of the £50 billion in development assistance? “Obama’s very serious about it. Berlusconi . . . does not give a s**t.”

The Face: Barbie

Her résumé boasts 108 careers, including a stint in the army, but on turning 50 yesterday Barbie now seems content looking after her 80,000 Facebook friends, her 40 pets and new homes in Malibu and Shanghai.

Since being born Barbara Millicent Roberts in (fictional) Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie has reached the dizzying heights of stardom. She enjoyed a cameo role in Toy Story 2, has a section of Times Square in her name and plays a central role on an Andy Warhol canvas. As Slumber Party Barbie in 1965, she carried a diet book for young girls: “Don’t Eat” was the advice. Mattel later widened her waist as part of a reconstruction drive but recent US sales still slumped by 21 per cent.

That may explain a recent shift to China, where a Barbie-sized Vera Wang dress – a snip at £10,800 – is one of the attractions at the Barbieplex megastore-cum-shrine in Shanghai.

Postscript

— Sounds like Dame Judi Dench could give William Hill a run for its money. “If there’s a lull [on set] she’ll say ‘All put a pound in and let’s have a bet on something’,” Imelda Staunton, her Cranford co-star and friend, tells us at the Laurence Olivier Theatre Awards. “She pockets quite a lot of cash. I need to watch her. She fiddles it, I think!”

— “Filming X-Men was amazing,” Olivier winner Patrick Stewart recalls. “Can you imagine what it was like starting your day walking into the make-up room and giving a kiss good morning to Halle Berry, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Anna Paquin, can you imagine how good that felt?” We’re sure the feeling was mutual.

Got a story to tell? people@thetimes.co.uk

Explore Celebrity

• People

Times recommends

• How I lost the gift of joy for a while
• How to get Coleen Rooney's post-baby body
• The A-Z of winter style rules