Body&Soul asked Times readers to tell us about their odd and agonising
experiences of the menopause, and to give other readers practical ideas for
how to survive and thrive. The response was astonishing. Here are some of
your comments and questions, on everything from hair removal to hormone
replacement therapy, along with advice from our panel of experts, Vivienne
Parry, Suzi Godson, Michael Dooley and Maryon Stewart (who is conducting a midlife
and menopause myths survey).
DEAR BODY&SOUL
“I hardly recognise myself these days. Since the menopause I seem to have had
a complete personality transplant: from reasonable, patient, kind and
easy-going to choleric, acerbic and apoplectic, bored titless by people
whingeing on about things that don’t matter, and extremely irritated by the
silliness of individuals (mainly young), organisations (from the Government
to supermarkets) and things (like staplers).
“My libido feels like something that existed on another continent several
centuries ago. I miss it sometimes, except when my partner is pestering me.
Yes, of course I’ve tried HRT, and wild yam cream, and sniff patches, and
black cohosh, and I would be willing to give testosterone a go except that
it would probably give me facial hair and the strength to be violent as well
as bad-tempered.
“I lose my temper as often as I lose my belongings. I am writing this at
4.30am after a near miss for spontaneous combustion woke me up. I had hoped
that the sense of humour would be the last thing to go, but fear that if all
this nonsense carries on, it will, like my hair, wear a bit thin. Anyway,
what was the question?” Liz Willetts
Vivienne If you feel this way, I’d say don’t resist it. This is your
chance to wear purple, to spit and generally behave badly as a full-time
eccentric.
Michael Don’t give up hope. Reduced testosterone levels may indeed be
playing a part in lowered libido. The role of testosterone treatment is
controversial, but some doctors are willing to consider its use; it’s worth
seeing several doctors at your health centre who may have different
approaches than your usual one.
TOO MUCH HAIR
“Last year I elected to bring on the menopause by going on the low-dose,
nonbleed HRT. Alas the black hairs are growing long, thick and fast. I have
to bleach, cut or pull at least twice a week, preferably more, or I look and
feel seriously like a werewolf.”
Maryon The bearded look that troubles some women at the time of the
menopause is closely related to hormone imbalances. Consuming about 100mg of
isoflavones, natural oestrogen-like substances found in foods such as soy,
flaxseeds and red clover will help to prevent further hair growth over time.
Suzi It is worth trying laser hair reduction, even if you’ve tried it
before; the technology is developing all the time. Its success depends on
the skill of the practitioner so avoid beauty parlours trying to promote the
laser equipment they have invested in and find a practitioner registered
with the National Care Standards Commission (0191-233 3556). It is
obligatatory for clinics operating lasers to be registered with the
commission. A study published in the British Journal of Dermatology
found that “three months after four treatments 95 per cent of patients rated
their response as considerably or moderately improved”. Prices start at
about £160.
TOO LITTLE HAIR
“I am a fit 60-year-old woman. About two years ago I lost my body hair, and
most of my eyebrows. I use a light pencil. But because I have hot flushes,
and perspire a lot, I have problems keeping makeup on in summer.”
Suzi You need FAME, a nonsurgical treatment that reconstructs and
shapes eyebrows using mineral pigment dyes to replicate each hair at a
microscopic level. The result is realistic and natural looking. The pigments
last several months or longer, but an annual colour boost is recommended.
Contact Debra Robson on 0845 2302021 (www.permanent-makeup.com).
Maryon A nutritional approach, consuming isoflavone-rich foods (see
above), will benefit you; it can control hot sweats naturally, so that the
eyebrow pencil stays on.
BRAIN DRAIN
“The worst symptom is the loss of memory and brain power, when you can’t
recall your neighbour’s name while talking to them, can’t pick words out of
your brain while writing reports or speaking to your boss. You can’t help
worrying that’s it’s dementia setting in, even though other people tell you
that it happens to them, too. Why does this happen and is there anything you
can do?”
Vivienne Oestrogen activates more nerve cells and increases bloodflow
to certain areas of the brain. The hippocampus, the area of brain most
involved in memory formation, is studded with oestrogen receptors. So,
falling oestrogen levels affect memory. But so does stress, fatigue and
doing a hundred things at once. This phase will pass. Meanwhile, exercise
your mind as well as your body, and get lots of sleep.
Maryon Research shows that consuming two servings of soy (for example,
two cups of soya milk, or one cup of tofu) a day improves both short and
long-term memory, as does taking a daily supplement of the herb ginkgo
biloba.
FROM A HUSBAND...
“My wife, once an attractive, happy and spirited mother, is entering her third
horrendous year of the menopause. While some can sail through, she has
suffered acute depression, compounded by all the other symptoms: fatigue,
hot flushes, panic attacks, mood swings, anxiety, sleeplessness, lethargy,
dry hair, dry skin and unwanted body hair.
“Reluctant to take HRT (her mother died of breast cancer) the doctors leave us
to our own devices to find help. Yes, she has tried all the ‘natural’
remedies, but nothing works. For every Selina Scott, Helen Mirren, Catherine
Deneuve there are many more ordinary women for whom just getting up in the
morning is like scaling Everest.”
Vivienne Yes, but you don’t know how long Catherine Deneuve spends
waxing unwanted hair before posing for the cameras, do you? There’s no doubt
that for some women, menopause sucks. While HRT has been demonised, it does
relieve menopause symptoms very well. Taking it for five years or less does
not increase significantly the risk of breast cancer, and depending at what
age cancer was diagnosed in your mother-in-law, your wife may have nothing
to fear. Meanwhile, treat her as if she was Helen Mirren.
SEXUAL PROBLEMS
“My vagina is hot, burning, itchy and sore. I have been given Estradol (a form
of HRT) and Ortho-Gynest, (oestrogen cream), neither of which works. I have
been tested for diabetes and sexually transmitted infections, both negative.
I am 54 years old.”
“The area around my vagina has become tender, sore and sometimes painful. I
tried for about a year to use yam cream topically, and this alleviated the
symptoms, but it had to be applied every day.” “Sex has become very painful,
but there’s no way I want to take HRT. I still love my husband very much and
want to be the sexual woman I was. He is unbelievably tender, gentle and
caring. So much so that he never attempts full sex any more and I miss that
immensely. I have been married for 39 years and am very sad that it had to
end like this.”
Suzi There is no easy answer to such problems. My advice is try
everything and not to give up. Though I can understand why women are
reluctant to take HRT, local oestrogen can help to alleviate burning,
itching and dryness, and studies show that it also boosts the thickness and
elasticity of vaginal tissues.
If creams don’t work, vaginal estradiol-releasing rings (available on
prescription from your doctor) are also an option. A study comparing them
with creams showed that the soft flexible rings were much more popular with
women.
Staying sexually active is one of the most important things you can do to help
alleviate your symptoms. Sexual arousal promotes blood flow to the genitals
and keeps the skin around the vagina moist, plump and healthy.
Don’t be afraid to use lubricant in industrial quantities. Astroglide is
probably the most effective, and there are many “posh lubes” on the market
now such as Coco de Mer’s honey-flavoured Klitoris climax cream (www.coco-de-mer-shop.co.uk).
Michael Vaginal oestrogen preparations need to be used for six to eight
weeks to see an improvement. Some people get improvement by applying natural
vitamin E oil locally.
The soreness around the vagina sounds like a case of vulvodynia, a condition
characterised by itching, pain and tenderness. You should talk to your
doctor about local and drug treatments, but complementary therapies such as
acupuncture and hypnosis may be helpful. Ask your doctor if he or she can
recommend a good practitioner, or contact the British Medical Acupuncture
Association (www.medical-acupuncture.co.uk
).
FLUSHES, SWEATS AND SLEEP
“I have been suffering from hot sweats (not flushes) for eight years. I had
some respite with HRT, although I came off it after two years on the
suggestion of my GP. I have tried every available natural remedy but nothing
works. I have not had an unbroken night’s sleep for many years. My sweats
leave me bathed in sweat, sometimes trickling down my face, back and legs. I
have given up caffeine, switched to soya milk, and I’m having smoked
mackerel salads for lunch three times a week.”
“My menopause monster seems to have a mind of its own. As soon as my head is
horizontal, there’s a flush. The evening one starts at 9ish and then they
come on the hour. When we went on holiday to Bali, the monster cleverly
adjusted its own time zone, too.
Vivienne Soya milk and smoked mackerel? No unbroken nights for years?
You poor things. Your GP may not have caught up with some of the newer
nonhormonal medications that suppress hot flushes such as venlafaxine
(Effexor), which can reduce flushes by 60 per cent. Explain how miserable
you are and ask to try them.
No one is sure why flushes develop, but it is thought to be because the part
of the brain that controls temperature is close to the hypothalamus, which
is hormone HQ. There is an hourly and daily schedule for hormone release,
controlled by the body clock through the hormone melatonin; so yes, your
monster has its clock reset when you travel. Recent research proposes a new
theory, that transient shortages of glucose in the brain caused by falling
oestrogen triggers counter-regulatory measures including a hot flush. The
good news is that this seems to protect cognitive function — women with
flushes have less memory loss.
Michael There is no hard and fast rule as to how long a woman should be
on HRT. It depends on what exact preparation you are taking. There is an
increase in breast carcinoma with time, but you have to weigh up the risks
versus the benefits, and in cases like these it may be reasonable to go back
on a low dose. Triggers for flushes include hot spicy food, chocolate,
alcohol, hot drinks, tobacco and sudden changes in room temperature. Many
people are helped by drinking plenty of still, cool water — at least eight
glasses a day — and keeping their blood sugar levels stable by eating
regularly.
The experts
SUZI GODSON Sex columnist and author of The Body Bible
VIVIENNE PARRY Scientist and author of The Truth about Hormones
MICHAEL DOOLEY Consultant obstetrician and menopause expert
MARYON STEWART Nutritionist and author of Beat Menopause Naturally.
Maryon will be answering questions on Tuesday in a phone and e-mail seminar;
for details, www.askmaryon stewart. Her Natural Health Advisory Service has
a menopause programme; go to naturalmenopause.com
COMPILED BY SIMON CROMPTON
Change, change, change . . .
Menopause The Musical, coming to London in March, was conceived in a
fridge. Its American creator, Jeanie Linders, was at a showbiz party when
she was hit by a big sweat. As she stood fanning herself with a fridge door,
she started singing “Hot flush” to the tune of Rod Stewart’s Hot
Legs. Inspiration struck and the idea grew into a show celebrating life
after 40, which has already been a smash in the United States, Canada and
Australia.
“My mum told me that the menopause was a period of ten years when my head
wasn’t connected to my shoulders, and she was right,” says Linders, 58. “The
main symptom for me was mood swings. I was working for a top Hollywood
producer and remember screaming down the phone at him one day; and
afterwards I just thought, what on earth was I doing? The world knew about
my bad temper, but women still didn’t talk about such things. I think the
success of the show is that thousands of women look at it and say, ‘that’s
me’, and feel that they can laugh and talk about not being in control.” The
plot kicks off with four women at a lingerie sale who have nothing in common
but a black lace bra and menopausal symptoms, and then goes on to parody a
host of Sixties’ hits including My Guy (“My Thighs”).
“I think the thing about the menopause is that once you’re over it, you have a
new life and a new freedom. You don’t have to worry about birth control, and
how fab is that?” Menopause The Musical is at the Shaw Theatre,
London NW1, March 27. For tickets, call 0870 0332600, www.theshawtheatre.com.
A charity performance for Women’s Health Concern, which publishes fact
sheets on menopausal issues at www.womens-health-concern.org,
will be held on April 12.
Before you break into a sweat, just tick the boxes
We might be groomed to believe that “failure is not an option” but when it
comes to your ovaries, it definitely is, at least for those of us supposedly
in our prime. To check how fast your biological clock is ticking, use my
checklist below. HELEN LEDERER
1. “Are you in or nearing the menopause?” Tick. And the sooner my
slowly departing ovaries hurry up and get on with it, the better. They are
behaving like drunk guests who can’t decide to stay or go.
2. “Is your sunny disposition not so sunny?” Tick. As the ovaries
prepare to pack up, my previously kind and reliable hormones are disturbed,
resulting in occasional plate-throwing and a sense of total failure.
3. “Has your hair changed?” Tick. I think of the dark and unwelcome
foreigners keen to cultivate my thigh.
4. “Do you blush easily?” Tick. It’s as if I’m naked on stage in front
of my parents. Usually it happens when I’m at a party full of strangers and
removing all my clothes is a nono.
5. “How is your memory?” Do you mean, do I walk purposefully into a
room and then walk out just as purposefully, wondering why I’m spending so
much time walking around purposefully? If so, tick.
Now, what was the next question . . . ?
HRT facts
- HRT slightly raises the risk of developing breast cancer; this drops when
treatment is stopped. Recent studies show that of every 1,000 women taking
oestrogen-only HRT, there will be one-two extra cases of breast cancer after
five years. With oestrogen and progestogen HRT, there will be six extra
cases.
- There is a small increased risk of heart disease, stroke and venous
thrombosis in the first year of HRT.
- HRT may protect against osteoporosis.
From magnets in pants to herbal remedies - your top tips
“I took part in a trial for a company producing therapeutic magnets;
the company was called Magnopulse,
www.magno-pulse.com, and
the magnets seemed to work for me. After a month or so, a lot of my hot
flushes and feelings of doom and gloom disappeared. The magnets are attached
to my knickers, which is great fun as I travel a lot for work and they
constantly go off at the security gates at Gatwick.”
“Thinning body hair includes eyebrows. Do not pull out the white
hairs from your eyebrows. They do not regrow, so you have nothing left to
tint or colour when you are drawing your face back on.”
“I read a newspaper feature about a woman who said that she had been taking sage
(500mg of extract) and red clover blossoms (450mg) twice daily and no
longer had any of the usual meno misery. I added these to the Livial
(mini-HRT) I was taking, and within a week or so almost all my symptoms had
disappeared. Eight months later, I am still taking them and I haven’t had a
hot flush for the past six months.”
"I found that the advice and information on www.woman2womanhealth.co.uk
was very helpful.”
“I believe the herbal remedy agnus castus (available in health
food shops) has helped me for hot flushes and sleeplessness.”
“I am 53 and have had three years without periods. It is wonderful (honestly);
there’s a great calm where before there were tensions with PMT. My tips are
to use a natural progesterone cream (Serenity, www.progesterone.co.uk)
and ruthlessly cut out coffee, tea and alcohol to reduce night sweats and
mood swings. Just yield to the fact that you are in a state of flux and go
with it.”
“Having watched me suffer for years, my daughter gave me the following fridge
magnet: “Real women don't have hot flushes, they have power surges.” I
have found red clover a huge help. It hasn’t stopped them but reduces the
intensity. Not a cheap option though at £18 a month.
