MPH 2008

Your last chance to get tickets to Top Gear Live

Navigation - link to other main sections from here

From The Sunday Times

December 2, 2007

The big issue

Women are never happy about weight – their own or others’. Nigella Lawson, a victim of the fat police, talks to Style about why we do it to ourselves

Shane Watson

How would you summarise Nigella Lawson? A bright, beautiful, super-successful, late-fortysomething who loves food and has the curves to prove it, and who has accidentally become probably the most fancied woman in Britain, comes close. A role model for her own sex and an object of desire for heterosexual males of all ages, comes closer. Either way, don’t you just love her?

Or is she just offensively fat? Because there are women out there who are far from satisfied with Nigella’s size. On the BBC website, members of the public have been expressing horror at her perceived weight gain during the filming of the current, gloriously gluttonous television series, Nigella Express. Comments have ranged from “She’s a porker” to “What sort of an example is she setting with her weight and her appetite for high-calorie sweets and cream?”. Nigella is, in short, being targeted for the thing that makes her so desirable – her womanliness.

“It isn’t great being described as overweight,” Nigella tells me over the phone, matter of factly. “Maybe I have put on weight, or maybe it’s a bad camera angle. But in real life, this is normal size.

“Everyone is so critical,” she continues. “All must be sacrificed to the great god of skinny. You must say no to everything. Life has to be pretty fabulous, surely, if you can afford to turn down occasions of pleasure?”

What is remarkable about the “great god of skinny”, as Nigella puts it, is that he has toppled the god of beauty with hardly a murmur of dissent. If celebrity culture is any indication, beauty without a slim body is now almost pointless – see how Beyoncé has started to be targeted by the curve police. Her bootylicious body, which most men would die for, was described at the recent American Music Awards as “erupting” out of her dress.

“I think it is a fear of flesh,” says Nigella, “maybe of vulnerability and softness.” Is that ultimately a fear of sex? “I don’t know. But I do think that women who spend all their lives on a diet probably have a miserable sex life: if your body is the enemy, how can you relax and take pleasure? Everything is about control, rather than relaxing, about holding everything in.”

Her experience (the deaths of a mother, sister and husband from cancer) has also made her see thinness as something to dread rather than aspire to. “I associate thinness with dying. My mother had real eating issues. When she had cancer, she said, ‘This is the first time I have eaten without worrying,’ and that is chilling. Something clicked, and I vowed never to say, ‘I am not allowed that.’ ” In her TV series, Nigella plays on her low opinion of self-discipline (though she clearly has enough of it to run a family and a mega-career), but in so doing, she is putting herself firmly in what we have come to regard as the fat camp. That is, among women who embrace pleasure and don’t beat themselves up about it – as opposed to the skinny camp, which sees containing their desires and bodies as a continuing challenge. It’s the latter camp that Nigella thinks is a threat to normal feminine existence. “In my experience, the weight thing is an almost totally female problem. I never feel bad about my weight around men, only women. Women act like it is somehow a moral failing to have hips.”

At the other end of the scale, there are the demonised skinnies. I don’t mean the Nicole Richies (demonise away), but the natural beanpoles, such as Erin O’Connor and Keira Knightley and even Kate Moss, who are as blameless as their curvy counterparts. Thin is as much of a taboo as fleshy, and for all the obvious reasons. Skinny looks unnurturing and unwomanly; it is the sign of a narcissistic, empty-headed nature. As the angular model Erin O’Connor wrote for this magazine on the subject of the size-zero outcry: “The public humiliation of seeing my health analysed by complete strangers – did I menstruate? Was I capable of becoming pregnant? Why was I skeletal? – was bearable. The questioning of my integrity was less so.” Just as we are encouraged to look at women with flesh on their bones and sneer at their lack of control, we are conditioned to look at our skinny sisters and despise their self-denial.

There is a lot of confusion about this weight fascism. We blame fashion. We blame models. We blame ageism and advertising and celebrity. But who stands to gain from ostracising women because they are too curvaceous or too thin? Other women, that’s who: women who mistrust their own sex and who lack confidence in themselves.

Skinny bitch or fat cow: which side of the line are you? The fact is, you can’t avoid taking sides. JK Rowling is the latest to show her colours. Provoked by articles commenting on her supposed “new diet”, she snapped back with: “In the interests of accuracy, I must point out that, far from losing weight, I’ve gained a good bit.” She also made references to Paris Hilton-type celebrities, describing them as “empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones”.

The underlying issue is becoming clear. In the fat camp are those who represent the forces of goodness and womanliness, or indulgence and ill discipline, depending on where you stand on the scales; in the skinny camp are the savvy, fit, modern girls, or the life-deniers – if you’re not so thin yourself. The size you are is a statement of your entire life philosophy, and the gulf between the two camps is filled with fear and misunderstanding. It is war, ladies, and it is our war. We are making enemies of each other on the basis of body shape.

Vanessa Feltz has recently lost four stone, but doesn’t anticipate it making the slightest difference to her public profile. “There has been a proprietorial interest in my weight ever since I became famous,” she says. “People come up to me in supermarkets and comment on what I am buying. It is very disconcerting.” She learnt, years ago, that weight is a stick to beat women with; size itself is a mere detail. “After my husband left, I was Vanessa with ‘breasts like Zeppelins’, and then a few weeks later I was ‘gaunt and haggard’. That was when I realised there is never a good day, never a point at which they say, ‘This is how a woman should look.’ ”

Maybe women are attacking each other over this issue because it symbolises a more general guilt and confusion about who we should be. “I have days when I feel fat, and days when I feel woman-shaped,” says Nigella. And perhaps this is all about how we define ourselves as women. Should we be at home, baking cakes? Should we be binding our pregnancy bumps in the boardroom? If we can turn all our anxieties about how we should be living our lives into a fight about our size, then maybe that is our way of coping.

“I don’t think that it has necessarily got worse: my mother was obsessed with weight,” says Feltz. “But now, nobody ever says, ‘Handsome is as handsome does, and so what if she’s put on few pounds – she’s still fascinating.’ That’s the real difference.”

While Nigella has many great ideas, her "Bad Fat" intake (that causes bad heath like high cholesterol etc) has to be way high on the meter. I have seen her show many times and the one thing that lacks is any compromise or substitution in that dept. It is not good for you to eat that way daily! Anyone knows that... Life should be about moderation! You really CAN have your cake and eat it too, if you just try. I front a band and though I must keep my weight down I love to EAT! Look at me- I am a good healthy weight! (see me at rubyredmusic.com) I won't go without the things I like, I just don't eat them EVERY DAY. I hope Nigella can learn this and teach her children about moderation. She is fun and always makes me laugh but c'mon.... there's more to life than butter and cream!!! ;)

Robin Brantley, Vancouver, WA

Women regarding other women, is something Shere Hite writes a great deal about. Rather than compete, why not commend any woman who can run a multi million dollar business and have two or more children and come through as many personal tragedies as Ms Lawson. There is room, indeed a vital niche for women such as Nigella who are reassuring thousands of us not to conform to the desperatly thin stereotype. Her food programmmes reveal her great humour, wit and frankness, Nigella is a great comedienne, as well as stunningly beautiful, I would compare her with Marilyn Monroe, loved by many men and no doubt women alike.

Pamela Kember, London,

All our family LOVE Nigella! What is important to health is to eat high quality real food - preferably organic in origin - but NOT junk burgers, fries with everything, soda drinks etc. That way lies ill health for almost certain. Your size is not important and has no bearing on your health. What you eat does! Researchers and doctors need to distinguish between the two.

Nigella is an average sized fabulous looking woman with a healthy approach to food - an excellent roll model for my daughter!

Linda, Vernon, Canada BC

Yes she has grown in weight...so what? As long as it's not damaging her health? Nigella is a very intelligent woman who knows exactly what she's doing....It's normal that when one is 'known' in the Media that they'll be in the spotlight...Nigella doesn't have a problem with it...as far as I can tell.....

Cindy, Amsterdam, Netherlands

I disagree with Nigella. If I've gained too much weight, I don't feel sexy or feel like having sex at all! Being slim, not emaciated I hasten to add, makes me feel much sexier. Having said that, Nigella knows it takes extra sacrifice to be slim at 40+ with two children. She carries it well anyway. I cannot say the same for everyone. I definately associate fat with illness I'm afraid. We cannot say we are not warned.

susan, london,

Men traditionally define themselves by their job / income. Women are clearly attempting to define themselves but seem to have missed the point somewhat.

Anne Evans, Bristol,

As far as Nigella goes most women are probably envious that she does not care and lives her life fully without worrying what she eats-how many women can be that free, Is it a crime too love cooking and eating if you are a woman?

I don't think many men would say no to her either despite being accused of being 'fat'

I think she hit the nail on the head when she said she associates thiness with death, especially if you have witnessed it first hand through a close relatives unhappy relationship with food.
Maybe women should put things into perspective.
I think Nigella is a refreshing womanly antidote to a world gone stick-thin mad!
Celebrate curves!

Eloise, San Francisco, CA

I think it's bad how the media keep giving the impression that big is beautiful and thin is disgusting. There are many naturally very slim people out there who must feel really horrible about themselves and inferior because of the mostly obese sized population of this country carping out with this rubbish to make their weight seem acceptable.

I have only watched Nigella once on the tv and yes she is nice looking, this might actually serve as a detractor from her cooking which is absolute crap! As far as we could see, she put ASDA bought pancakes into a frying pan, then put a WHOLE TUB of butter in and then ended up with disgusting sloppy pancakes dripping in fat. Me and my sister were gagging!

I hope Nigella didn't have the runs from that when she gave this interview!

Hannah, Wolverhampton,

Oh come on people - if you've got a small bone structure, you're more likely to be thin. I'm 6'1 and even if I dieted for a year there is no physical way I could ever get down to a size four or whatever it is. Size ten maybe, but I'd have to go anorexic. Nigella looks fantastic, as does Keira Knightley. Why can't we just be happy to have some women in the public eye with good self-confidence and a balanced sense of themselves?

Lucy, London, UK

I think she is right! Women are their own worst enemies. We can be too fat, too thin, eat too much or too little. Its never right and if I see another article about losing weight, I shall scream!

Mich, Rhondda, , South Wales

Nigella is the right size and shape; those who criticize her are simply envious. I have a BMI of 21, without dieting--I was even thinner when I was younger and I never refuse a chocolate truffle.

Dectora, London, UK/ex Ireland

Thank you for that! But why does nobody ever point out that some of us more curvaceous girls DO NOT overeat, but the excess weight can be caused by hormonal problems.

I'm probably about the same size as Nigella, but I'm also quite fit and go to the gym about 3 times a week - something a lot of these emaciated size zeros don't do. Didn't I read somewhere recently that it's much better for you to be slightly overweight but exercise regularly than to be skinny and not?

I've now been extremely happily married for quite a time now, but when I was single was much more popular with men than my skinny self-obsessed friends....

Fi, NE Scotland,

Great article. I think a woman's size is a very small factor in her attractiveness. Confidence and joie-de-vivre are far more attractive than a skeletal body.

Alexander Williams, London, UK

I think Nigella is a good looking lady but boy is she annoying! I hate her style of presenting and she puts me off food by all her gesticulation and I love to eat and cook.

I am told I am not alone, most under 35s think she is weird.

D Nea, London,

But Jim are you a stud muffin? Hmm.........I did'nt think so......so go back to your life and stop judging ladies on their size....you may get more action love.

sarah, norwich, u.k

Thank goodness for Nigella. Yes I am plumper than I was, but yes going through breast cancer and coming out the other side still alive, hell who cares about being a bit fat. Nigella is gorgeous, a real woman with charisma and thank goodness she sais it as it is. Natalie

Natalie Berelowitz, telford, u.k

fine woman, jim

jim, donegal, ireland

...but Nigella IS fat.

...But HOT-DAMN she's sexy

stuart, sheffield, uk

Thank you so much for this article. It said many things that needed saying, and gave me a real wake-up call not to be seduced by the current culture that makes women feel inadequate whatever their size. It should be compulsory reading for all teenage girls as well!

Hilary, Holywood,

I agree that Nigella is a babe - and I'm a happily married woman! She loves food and encourages others to do the same - we should all aspire to that way of thinking (if we love food, that is).

I think the key is balance - don't get too fat (by that I mean fat, not just more than eight stone), and if you do, lose the excess, but DO NOT obsess about food negatively or feel 'guilty' for eating something. Easier said than done, perhaps, with all those images of skinny girls out there, but they may well be naturally thin (lucky them) - or starving themselves (horrid).

Elma, Essex,

After all the fuss that has been in the press about women being to thin it is ridiculous that it should be changed around to complain about a woman being too curvy, especially a woman as beautiful and desirable as Nigella. I think this is all about jealousy from women who don't look good either way.

Ro, Cheltenham,

I am a man who loves skinny women , but when it all boils down I think Nigella is one of the sexiest women alive. She is gorgeous , stunning , funny , confident , intelligent and an accent that has me swooning whenever she speaks.

She is happy and confident within herself and this is the number quality that draws men to her. If the rest of you girls would follow her example , the world would be a happier place !

We love you Nigella ! Do ever change.

Clint, Sydney, Australia

Congrats to Nigella for speaking up. We women DO control ourselves and each other through weight. It's about time we stopped and started to focus on our other contributions to this planet.

Elizabeth, Toronto, Canada

I am a skinny woman and have been so all my life. My sister and one of my best friends are as they say "pleasantly plump." They have a more active sex life and have had three times as many relationships as I have. I strongly believe that men are more attracted to woman who have "meat on their bones." I love Nigella because she is a wonderful and witty lady.

Shenae, Miami Beach, USA

This is no suprise, if you're female go and cruise the 'womens' & celebs mags aisle at the supermarket, open your eyes and see just how much of the content is based around looks, and the mainstay of looks being 'weight'. It's endemic and is one reason I despise these magazines.

I'll stick to reading special interest stuff thanks, even though for that I have to hover near the lads mags section to find the film and music review publications ...

It makes me sad to think that young girls are being brought up to think such self-hatred is normal, and that outward appearance has to be within an arbitrarily defined narrow limit to grant acceptance on these females.

AGHHH! Wake up! Reject this cr*p that's being forced down our throats & go and get a life - a wonderful, exuberant, fun-filled life full of whatever you want to do, go and make it happen, go and leave your mark on the world.
Don't rely solely on looks or bodyweight to make you happy. There is so much more out there to enjoy!

CarpeDiem, Leeds,

Nigella looks great, most women would love to look like her - I would and I am only 28!
She is not fat, she is most likely average sized. I have 2 girls and think that I would rather they had a role model like Nigella, who is curvy and enjoys food and is happy, she has a family and a career rather then than someone skinny like Paris Hilton who does nothing.
I have nothing against skinny people, I just feel that a person needs to be happy and healthy in the way that suits them.

Becky Wilkinson, Plymouth,

It would be interesting to trace the history of the perception of beauty in women. Historically, if art is to be taken as a good indicator, beautiful women have always had curves. Nell Gwynn by Peter Lely or the Maja are good examples. When did this change? I suspect it is the tyranny of the fashion police and women like Wallis Simpson.

Fortunately here in India, women still have the freedom to age gracefully, if that aging means putting on a few pounds. Though it's changing fast, as women now try squeezing into Versace, instead of the forgiving sari or salwar kameez.

Mira Gupta, Delhi, India

nigella please return back to the earth.....you need a reality check. honest. i dream about you, but honestly you need to get in touch with reality.

Stuart M, wisconsin,

Real men celebrate Nigella's curves. God forbid that she should try to emulate those 'wire-coat-hanger' figures so popular amongst the intellectually challenged in show-biz and the world of fashion. How very odd the Posh Spices of this world look in comparison to the divine Nigella. As a macho Welshman I've noticed that a woman with brains, charm and good looks has always been viewed as threatening by Englishmen - these men (?) in England mostly appear to be effeminate to me. More interested in their pints and their 'footie' than in women. Their loss and the Celtic man's gain.
God bless and preserve Nigella. A delightfully real woman in a world of skinny, vacuous zombies.

Jimmy, Nottingham, England

Anyone who critizes Nigella is obviously jealous - my friends & I all agree she's a babe (with brains).

â€œI associate thinness with dying" Classic!

Rudy E Parker, Cambridge, MA

Also in Diet & Fitness

Also in Women

Times recommends

Focus Zone

Asian Cuisine:

Explore your passion for food with the delights of Thai, Indian & Chinese cooking

A Life More Streamlined:

In our new series, Tony Hawks takes a dry, wry look at modern life - junk mail, interminable meetings and snooty sales assistants

Triathlon Training:

Read the training tips and advice that helped our London Triathletes

James Bond:

Read our exclusive 100 Years of Fleming and Bond interactive timeline, packed with original Times articles and reviews

Business Travel:

The latest travel news plus the best hotels and gadgets for business travellers

Services

Classifieds

Cars

Skip Cars of the Week

Volkswagen Touareg Altitude

2007
£30,000

BMW 635 Sport

2008
£44,990

Jaguar XK 4.2 V8

2008
£48,489

Car insurance

Great car insurance deals online

Search for more cars and bikes

Jobs

Skip Jobs of the Week

CHIEF EXECUTIVE

c.£75,000
GlosFirstmeansbusiness
Gloucestershire

Collaboration Support Managers

£32,795 - £41,545
Universitry of Southampton
Southampton

Bid Managers

£ £32,795 - £41,545
Universitry of Southampton
Southampton

Demand Forecasting Managers

Competitive Package
Npower
West Midlands

Search more Jobs

Properties

London Living

Some of the finest Apts & Penthouses
Across London

Rushmore Condo's New Luxury Condo's In Manhattan

Great Investment, River Views

Kingswood Chase

Luxury properties within exclusive development in
Chislehurst Kent

Experience the Berkeley Difference

A new experience in Luxury Living

Search for more properties

Holidays

Skip Travel of the Week

Las Vegas, Los Angeles & San Francisco

Multi–Centre
from Only £829pp

Discover Captain Cook’s Hawaiian Islands

With Ramblers Worldwide Holidays!
£POA

Advertise your holiday property online

List your property with two leading travel websites
£POA

Travel insurance

Great travel insurance deals online

Search for more holidays

Place your advert now

Where am I?

Home

Life & Style Women Diet & Fitness

Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times. Globrix Property Search - search houses for sale and rooms and property to rent in the UK. Milkround Job Search - for graduate careers in the UK. Visit our classified services and find jobs, used cars, property or holidays. Use our dating service, read our births, marriages and deaths announcements, or place your advertisement.

This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.

Navigation - link to other main sections from here

The big issue

Women are never happy about weight – their own or others’. Nigella Lawson, a victim of the fat police, talks to Style about why we do it to ourselves

Have your say

Also in Diet & Fitness

Also in Women

Times recommends

Top five features

Writing Competition

Wii Fit: We test it

The deadline diet

Paris Fashion Week

Coat tales

Most Read

Today

MOST COMMENTED

Today

MOST CURIOUS

Today

Focus Zone

Services

Special

Encounters

Popular Searches on Times Online

Cars

Jobs

Properties

Holidays