It’s two weeks before the festive season starts and you’re desperate to fit into your little black dress. Sure, everyone knows that crash-dieting never works in the long term and that extreme dieting is bad for the bones, heart and mental health. But rational thinking goes out the window when you stand in front of the oh-so-cruel mirror in the changing room. For whatever we, the experts, say about balanced diets and regular exercise, I know nothing will stop people taking drastic measures at this time of year so that they can squeeze into their party number.
One A-list celebrity has recently taken things to an extra level of madness, spending a month in hospital on an intravenous drip with enough fluids and basic minerals to stay alive. Her reason for admission? To lose weight. And it’s not just a female thing: I’ve seen plenty of men who will go on a strict diet for a couple of weeks so as not to look flabby-stomached in a tux.
So given that many people will do all sorts of foolish things to lose 2 to 3kg (4½ to 6½lb) in a couple of weeks, I’ve compiled a tough but oh-so-delicious diet that should give you similar results in the best, healthiest, way possible. You may not see the weight dropping off instantly, but stick to this plan and after two weeks you should see a difference (NB: this should be followed for only two weeks. Consult your GP first if you are on medication). Even if you don’t want to lose weight, these recipes are so delicious that they’ll be the perfect dinner-party food.
There will, of course, be times when you’re climbing the walls — not because you aren’t eating enough to live on, but because you’re eating less than your body is used to. Drink water, or herbal tea if you need something more comforting, and the hunger should go away. Distract yourself: think positive, visualise yourself thinner and trimmer, imagine how well you will feel after two weeks.
On a practical note, allow yourself a day to prepare everything — this is why the diet starts on a Wednesday. You’ll need to stock up on the foods I have suggested (see my list below). Make a list of everything you need so you don't end up getting halfway through a recipe and find you’re missing a key ingredient — remember, your brain might feel a little fogged during the first few days, so think ahead. If you have colleagues who want to do the diet, why not club together to ensure that you have lots of the good stuff around and make a pact so that no one sabotages you by doing a chocolate run? And if you are overcome by a sugar-craving, sniff a bottle of vanilla essence — mysteriously, this can make it go away.
Paring down your social life will help you to stay on track, especially as your body might feel a bit tired (and grumpy) as it adjusts to eating less food, so get on the phone and start cancelling outings. You’ll also need the evenings to put together the recipes, some of which I’ve doubled up so you can take some to the office or warm it up at home for lunch the next day. Look ahead: Day 1 includes home-made hoummos, which you could make the night before if you know your morning will be busy. And buy plastic containers for taking stuff to work, or keeping it in the fridge or freezer.
Before I take you through the recipes and plan, I’d like you to start drinking 2.5 litres of water (tap, bottled, fizzy, hot, cold or with a herbal teabag in it) every day. A glass an hour is a good way to spread this out. Initially you may find you need to go to the loo every ten minutes while your body readjusts itself to proper hydration, but it’s worth it: water improves digestion by getting things moving in the body. You’ll feel more energised, and with better hydration you can concentrate more. Water also swells the food you eat, stimulating receptors in your brain to acknowledge that you have eaten enough. Ignore the fallacy that you can’t drink water and eat food at the same time because it affects digestion; the opposite is true. And don’t touch flavoured fizzy drinks: they have more calories than water and don’t hydrate you as well. Skip alcohol and have tea and coffee no more than twice a day.
You can snack on fresh fruits of all sorts — fill a big bowl and put it where you’ll notice it. Rather than buying a huge amount once a week, organise your week so that you make two or three visits to the supermarket or local veg and fruit stall, or order a couple of online deliveries — it could stop you wasting food. You can eat fresh fruits of all sorts but don’t go mad: have one slice of pineapple at a sitting, not six. Unsalted nuts such as cashews and walnuts are good, too, but just a few at a time, not a whole bag. Another snack could be raw vegetables — cherry tomatoes, carrots, celery, fennel — with a little natural yoghurt, and fresh mint and garlic.
At lunch and supper have a big portion of fresh vegetables, steamed or lightly boiled, or an easy-to-grab bagged salad. You can even have half an avocado in a salad; this makes it creamy and you need less olive oil (which is fine, by the way, but ensure that you don’t use too much; a dessertspoon, say, per person per salad). The only vegetable you must avoid during these two weeks is potato (other than the recipe that includes sweet potato). During this time, use only a little olive oil or butter with your vegetables, and add lemon juice, fresh herbs, a little sea salt and lots of black pepper to give food extra flavour. You will be amazed by how good food tastes when you don’t drown it in sauces. Unless stated, desserts should be fresh fruit, which is no hardship when the apples. pears, fresh figs, plums and clementines are so good at this time of the year. You could also throw in raspberries, strawberries, mangoes or pineapples for an exotic twist. A little fromage frais or yoghurt on top is fine. Do not exceed four portions of fresh fruit a day as it can contain a lot of fruit sugar.
One of the most important things during the next two weeks is to ensure that you don’t eat more than your body really needs — serve half what you’d normally have, eat it slowly and then, if you need extra, have it, but stop when you’re full, or by imagining someone saying: “Surely that’s enough.”
Here are a couple of remedies to help you along: 300mg twice a day of milk thistle (a traditional remedy that dieters find helps them to detox), and 20ml of aloe vera juice, ideally three times a day (half an hour before eating or drinking). Aloe vera is great for guts and skin — handy when donning a party outfit. You can buy both from health-food stores. I like Forever Living aloe vera juice, which you can buy online. Other than this you need nothing but willpower to keep you going through the times when your body is crying “I’m hungry” and the diet seems not to be working — it will, if you hang in there.
This diet is not suitable for women who are pregnant or breastfeeding.
What to stock up on
