My grandson will be 12 in May and still regularly wets the bed. We used star charts when he was much younger (around six) with some success, and then we moved on to medication. He has used both pills and nasal sprays. However, after some months he became unwilling to take the medication.

He has attended a bed-wetting clinic more recently and has used a bed alarm system. However, he sleeps so deeply that everyone else wakes up but not him.

I attempted to persuade him to give the medication another try, but he associates it with occasional bad headaches of a migraine type, and says he does not like the side effects. I am not convinced that there is a link. He would prefer to be woken in the night to pee and says that he will eventually wake by himself when necessary. This, however, does not guarantee a dry bed.

His mother (my daughter) was slow to become completely dry (probably 7-8) but was never a very frequent wetter. Should we see a paediatrician? - Name and address withheld

Bedwetting certainly runs in families, and it’s interesting that your daughter took longer than usual to become reliably dry at night. But as your grandson is now almost 12 it would be a good idea for his parents to seek extra help.

Seeing a paediatrician is a good idea. Their GP would be able to organise a referral. It sounds as though your grandson has tried several forms of treatment without much success so it would be advisable to rule out an underlying physical problem that could be linked with bedwetting. A paediatrician would probably suggest an ultrasound examination to check that your grandson’s kidneys and bladder are functioning correctly. A full history, including whether he ever experiences any loin pain, whether he has ever suffered from urine infections and even how potty training went would be important too.

Your grandson may be right about his medication causing his headaches. There are some forms of this type of medication that can be associated with bad headaches. So it would be helpful for them to discuss this with the paediatrician too. There may be other brands of medication that would suit him better.

While they are waiting for the appointment, there’s something very simple your grandson and his parents could try that might help. They could think about his toilet habits during the day - is he going regularly? Children can sometimes be so busy that they only visit the toilet once or twice. This can be linked with bedwetting at night when the bladder becomes relaxed. It will help if your grandson gets into a strict routine of going to the toilet every three hours even if he doesn’t feel he needs to go. This will help ’train’ his bladder in regular filling and voiding. Make sure he goes before he goes to bed and then again literally just before he gets into bed. This evening ‘double voiding’ will make sure his bladder’s empty.

Bedwetting can be an embarrassing problem and it might help your grandson to know that he’s not alone. The Enuresis Resource and Information Centre (www.eric.org.uk) says that research indicates one in 11 children still wet the bed at the age of nine, and one in 50-100 still do at the age of 15 and over (including adults). Your grandson’s parents might find it useful to call the ERIC helpline (tel: 0117 960 3060, open 10am-4pm) and discuss the problem with a trained member of staff.

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