Does any of this sound familiar? You buy a birthday present for a godchild, niece or nephew and discover that either they already have it, or they never wanted it in the first place. Or you forget their birthday and, racked with guilt, you buy an even more expensive present to make up for it. And how many of you have a “present drawer” where all these unwanted knickknacks lie before they can be redistributed?

The relentless cycle and expectation of children’s birthdays puts huge pressure on parents: who not only have to remember to buy the presents in the first place, but have the added responsibility of making sure that they get something “thoughtful” and “original” as well.

Wendy Aldiss, a mother of four, says that girls are far easier to buy for than boys. “Little girls generally always like pink, girly things,” she says, “whereas boys are very specific. You can also buy clothes for girls whereas if a boy opened up a shirt on his birthday he’d probably cry.”

A recurring nightmare is also when your own child sees the present you have bought for them to take to a party. “Never let them see it,” says Aldiss. “They always want to keep it and then end up having a tantrum.”

Amanda Blinkhorn, who also has four children, says that tactful hint-dropping is one of the hardest tasks to master when it comes to presents.

“Grandparents, aunts and uncles can often get stuck in a rut,” she says. “Your daughter may have liked pink when she was four but the likelihood is that she’ll be into camouflage by the time she’s 11. Presents matter to kids so it’s important to get it right. If you don’t, it’s difficult to come back from because it’s such a humiliation.” There are also presents which are taboo, such as guns and the Madonna of the toy world – the Bratz doll. “You should also never buy anything noisy,” says Blinkhorn, “it’s simply rude.”

Then there is the issue of how much money you should spend. Aldiss says that she will fork out up to £15 on a present for a birthday party and up to £25 on a niece or nephew. But if your child is bought a very expensive present, isn’t there pressure to reciprocate? And if a child has a party with 20 children, they could receive 20 £15 presents.

Once children get to about the age of 10 they prefer to be given money, says Aldiss. “I don’t mind,” she adds, “as it means I don’t waste money on presents they may not want.”

A website launched last week sets out to make present-buying a much simpler process by offering gender and age-specific suggestions from a panel of mothers. Presentplanner.co.uk is the brainchild of Rupert Younger, who came up with the idea when he realised he had bought the same Batman suit for his godson twice in three months. He received a thank you letter which read, “Thank you for the Batman suit you gave me. I enjoyed wearing the last one too.” Younger admits he felt like “a prime idiot”.

These present-buying misadventures can also add up financially. Aston Business School in Birming-ham has estimated that £4.5 billion is wasted on unwanted Christmas presents every year.

Nicola Horlick, the super-mummy CEO of Bramdean Asset Management and mother of five, has admitted to ticking Christmas presents for 70 children off a master checklist in October to avoid buying the same present twice. While this sounds symptomatic of her prodigious organisational skills, at least it avoids wasting money on duplicate or unwanted presents.

Present Planner goes a step further than Horlick’s chart by acting as an “intelligent present adviser” for children from 0-16. You enter the name, age and sex of the child you wish to buy for, and a list of gifts recommended for children of that age pops up. You can then follow links to buy the present online. An e-mail reminder is available so you have no excuse to forget a child’s birthday again.

According to research made by Tick-box, 50.5% of us do regularly forget birthdays and find that the 11-16 age group is the most difficult to buy for, so it seems there is a gap in the market for this type of service. But doesn’t the fact that someone else is doing all the work for you take away from the gesture of buying a gift? “I think the ends justify the means,” says Jo Long-don, one of the site’s Parent Panel of present advisers. “Your money is better spent and I think the most important thing is that you remember the birthday in the first place. There are some fantastic suggestions – I’d never have come up with the idea of buying a metal detector for an 11-year-old boy on my own.”

A guide to the top 10 gifts

1 Baby Bloom bouquet – £30, for babies

2 Thomas & Friends Aquadraw – £26.99, for boys aged 3-4

3 Cushtie Cushion – £7.95, for girls aged 5-6

4 All Surface Swing Ball – £19.72, for boys aged 7-8

5 Super Paint Ball Splat – £12.99, for boys aged 9-10

6 Nintendo DS Lite handheld console in pink – £99.98, for girls aged 9-10

7 Stealth Speed Boat – £39.95, for boys aged 11-12

8 Chocolate fountain – £39.95, for girls aged 13-14

9 Wakeboarding day out – £64, for boys aged 15-16

10 MoPods – £4.95, for girls and boys aged 15-16

Times recommends

• Live chat: Thrifty ways to update your winter wardrobe
• Is anybody out there really listening?
• Nutrition Q&A: Will eating late make me fat?