With David Kesterton, Project Manager, Speakeasy (Family Planning Association’s course for parents on talking to children about sex and relationships)

A lot has changed over a couple of generations. Children are more sophisticated and often more aware of the latest music and fashions than we were as parents, and certainly their grandparents, might have been. From the early years they’re surrounded with sexual images (usually bare flesh rather than relationships), particularly through the media, advertising and, for older children, via the internet. These are impossible to avoid.

But when it comes to what they actually understand about sex, it’s a very different matter. It’s easy to think they know more than they actually do. Children are more than ever in need of accurate information and guidance. This will give them the confidence to make the right choices at the right times as they grow up. They, in turn, will feel more able to discuss these issues with any children of their own.

Don’t children learn about sex at school?

All children will receive some sex education both at primary and secondary school. The biological aspects of reproduction are a mandatory element of science in the national curriculum, and are taught from Key Stage 1 onwards.

But teaching on other issues including relationships and making choices is not compulsory. Some schools cover these areas really well but others barely scratch the surface. An Ofsted report two months ago found there had been limited improvement in sex education generally in schools over the last five years.

So parents have a key role to play. Studies show that most children say they would like to hear about sex and relationships from their parents as well as at school. Questions are more likely to arise at home in response to something a child may have heard or seen. And we know our children best.

Will knowing about sex encourage children to try it out earlier themselves?

No - very strong evidence from studies around the world proves the opposite. Having this information is more likely to make children feel they don’t need to experiment at an early age in order to learn.

While parents’ views of sex and sex education might vary according to religious and cultural backgrounds, learning about these issues is important for every child.

What’s the best approach?

Being open and honest is important from the earliest age. Don’t bother with tales of gooseberry bushes or storks. They might be convenient explanations but when your child finds out what does happen, he or she is less likely to trust you for reliable information if you have spun a yarn in the past.

Times recommends

• How I lost the gift of joy for a while
• How to get Coleen Rooney's post-baby body
• The A-Z of winter style rules