MATT: To be honest, acting never struck me as the obvious career for Ruth. I used to take the mick that she was going to train for two years to be a professional waitress, but she confounded me by getting the Jane Eyre job straight out of drama school. So I’ve had to change my angle of attack. I’ve always taken the piss out of her, but it’s keep-your-feet-on-the-ground stuff rather than any real criticism. I think she’s a brilliant actress.

As kids, Ruth and I would fight quite a lot. Physically, too. Ruth was a real tomboy. I’d charge around the fields with my friends, building dens, and Ruth was always involved. She was never shy of roughing it up and climbing trees. Mum and Dad were fairly liberal, and let us disappear all day. Opposite our house was an overgrown gravel pit and we lived close to the Thames. We’d swim in the river and sail. We had little dinghy boats and complete freedom.

I was the youngest boy, so I made a conscious decision not to follow in the footsteps of my brothers. I had some blazing rows with my dad, and it always came down to: “Why do you have to be different?” I was expected to play rugby; I had to go to church, which I rebelled against. Ruth, Sam and Toby never had that rebellious streak. Everything my parents suggested, I turned away from.

I wanted to make my own way.

Ruth and I did youth theatre together from 12 to 18. That was brilliant. She says she was inspired to become an actor when she saw me in Godspell, but I doubt it. I had a tiny part in the choir, and it can’t have made that much of an impression on her. But Godspell was a fantastic musical, with catchy songs and real energy, so I guess the production might have attracted her to it.

At school Ruth was the annoying person who was good at sport and got straight As. I’m inherently lazy. I have to be really interested in something before I’ll do it, and then I’ll almost push it too far. Ruth commits to everything 100%, if she’s enjoying it or not. She’d have put the same effort into the TV series Suburban Shootout as she did into Jane Eyre.

I’ve always been interested in the military. I wanted to make a career in the army, but I had knee problems and they wouldn’t let me in, so I went down the reserve route. I’m likely to be called up to go to Afghanistan next year, which I’m happy to do. But my family obviously isn’t happy.

It’s selfish, I suppose, to go, but it’s the same for any military family. It might sound stupid and romantic, but serving your country and giving something back actually matters. I enjoy my job, but it’s not important. It’s advertising. I’ve never done anything this important, and my parents and sister know that. Maybe I’m trying to find myself. This might be my defining six or eight months.

I quite like riding on Ruth’s coat-tails and going to good parties. I thought it would be a great way of meeting beautiful actress friends of hers, but it hasn’t worked out like that. Hanging around actors isn’t necessarily a good thing. They all want to be the centre of attention. It’s funny watching Ruth with her acting friends. A guitar always appears and they break into song. Not like my friends at all. It wouldn’t appeal to me as a career, but Ruth loves it.

What I like about Ruth is her openness. There’s no facade. She’s more comfortable in social situations than I am. She draws people to her, and radiates some quality that people warm to. She’s very grounded, despite what she’s achieved. She’s still Ruth. At the same time, it’s good to see people double-taking on the street. I get a buzz from that. But don’t tell her!

RUTH: As kids, Matt and I hated each other. Well, I hated him. He was the third boy and a bit of an outsider. He was the rebel of the family, a troublemaker, a scapegoat. I’d blame him for everything and everyone would believe it because he was so bad. We’d fight often and it would get physical. I remember saying to Mum: “Why does he beat me up?” She said: “The other boys beat him up, so he beats you up.” I said: “But who am I supposed to beat up?”

I think it was a form of frustration with Matt. Sam and Toby went to the same schools, played rugby and were perfect children, and Matt just didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. My mum was the odd child out in her family and she felt she understood Matt. But the last thing he wanted was Mum on his side. It divided my parents a bit, because Dad said, “He shouldn’t be allowed to be this naughty and get away with it,” and Mum was like: “But he feels left out.” He could have made life easier for himself by getting on with Mum, but he made her life hell by attacking her, so she was always in a state of: “I feel sorry for him, but he’s doing my head in.”

We were coming back from holiday one day and we stopped in the middle of nowhere and Matt ran off into a field. He was gone for hours. It was a nightmare. This happened often on holidays. He’d disappear. He needs his own space. We’re quite a sociable family; we have big dos. But Matt would stay upstairs, never talk to anyone and read lots.

He’s an incredibly intelligent guy, but he’s an enigma. Five years ago you wouldn’t have had a clue what was going to happen to him. Since then he’s reintegrated into the family. It started with Sam’s wedding in 2003. Matt loved it: the whole family together, getting drunk, celebrating. Now he’s always at family dos. He always makes an effort. He brought his girlfriend, Becca, to watch me in Philistines, at the National. It was a big coup in our family, because Matt’s never brought a girl home before.

I remember watching Matt and Sam in plays at youth theatre. They were fantastic actors. Matt was in Godspell, and it was so moving. I was singing the songs for days. I said: “I’ve got to join.”

I wanted to make people feel like I felt watching Godspell, when your heart’s beating and you’re emotionally involved. Matt could have become an actor too, but that’s not where he sees himself.

My family really influences the way I pick roles. It’s often down to what I know they’ll respect and be intrigued by. My brothers take the piss out of me and keep me grounded. They’ll tell me if a show’s not good or if they’re proud. When I was in Suburban Shootout, a Channel 5 comedy, all the boys got comments about their sister in a short skirt, so they didn’t particularly like it. But with Jane Eyre they were incredibly supportive and wrote lovely letters.

In the last few years Matt and I have become really close. I’m drawn to him because he doesn’t just settle for life as it is, but strives for something bigger. He fights conventions and tries to be different, which I hugely admire. But we’re both restless and need change.

I’m the one person in the family who can get away with pushing the wrong buttons with Matt. My other brothers are wonderful but they’ll never tell you their weaknesses or vulnerabilities. Matt opens up to me. That’s why we get on. There’s a mutual respect. I love spending time with him. But I hate arguing with him. He’s always right. Well, he’s not always right but he thinks he’s always right. The thing is with Matt, the sensitivity and passion he has, he doesn’t quite know where to direct it yet. He might find that in the army. We’ll see.

We’re all anti Matt going to war. He’s now so integrated in the family and loves being with us, we have this fear of what war might do, that he might withdraw. Obviously that’s not the only reason we fear him going to war. He’ll be fantastic at his job, but it is a scary job.

Main photograph by Philipp Ebeling

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