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The firefighter who donated sperm to a lesbian couple has been acting as a full-time father and should rightly be asked to pay child support, the children’s mother said yesterday.
Terri Arnold, who has separated from her partner, Sharon Arnold, spoke out after Andy Bathie, 37, said that he had been assured by the couple that he would have no personal or financial involvement in the children’s upbringing. He is now being pursued by the Child Support Agency for maintenance.
Ms Arnold retorted that Mr Bathie had wanted to get involved. “What people don’t understand is that they have only heard one side of the story,” she told GMTV. “He was a father to the children, a dad. He played a father’s role for two years of their, well, my daughter’s life.”
Ms Arnold had two children by Mr Bathie – a girl, aged 2, and a boy, 4, who is disabled. She said that the initial arrangement was for him to be a donor only. “I will openly admit to that, but it was him that changed his mind. He wanted to be involved, he wanted to be a dad. Who was I to stop him? I believed it would be beneficial for my children to have their father involved.”
Far from never seeing his daughter, the fireman, from Enfield, North London, was in regular contact and looked after her one weekend every month, Ms Arnold said. “Every time she needed something he was there. He paid for things, he helped me out.”
She said that Mr Bathie had not wanted to go on the birth certificate and emphasised that she would be pursuing the case even if she and her partner were still together. “He walked away. He knew full well. It is not like the CSA contacted him out of the blue. My son was diagnosed with a disability after he was born. [Mr Bathie] was still seeing my daughter on a regular basis. I couldn’t return to work because of my son being in hospital so much. I was then informed by the CSA that if I did not give the father’s details then my income support would be cut down, and I wouldn’t be able to afford to live.”
Mr Bathie said yesterday that he could not afford to have children with his own wife because of the financial implications of child support. He is now campaigning for a change in the law to stop him being recognised as the legal parent. “I am already paying for a family . . . I’m not a highflying City banker,” he said.
Ms Arnold said she was surprised at Mr Bathie’s desire for his own children. “That’s funny, because just before he stopped seeing his daughter he informed us that he and his girlfriend at the time did not want children.”
Mr Bathie, who did not donate sperm through a clinic, was contacted by the CSA last year about payments. He said yesterday: “I still even now don’t see why I should have to pay for another couple’s children.”
Only men who donate sperm through licensed fertility clinics are not considered the legal father of any child born as a result of a donation. The CSA said that a child would have to be legally adopted for a biological parent to escape financial responsibility.
Ministers have drawn up fertility reforms giving equal parenting rights to same-sex couples who enter a civil partnership, which means that they will be recognised as the legal parents of children conceived through sperm donation. The change has come too late for Mr Bathie.
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I don't know why he has to pay. The babies have two parents who wanted to be a parent....They must know their responsibility as a parent would not cease just because they split up???? He can surely play a role as father without paying money???
Kiyomi, London,
Sounds likes like Mr Bathie, should have done his research before handing his DNA over so easily. This kind of thing happens all to often not just in this particular circumstance.
Ignorance is not an excuse and he should never have agreed to father any child he wasn't going to support, without finding out where he stood first.
I do hope the CSA are pursuing the absent mother aswell. After all i'm sure she felt it was her right to have a child and therefore should be held financially accountable.
When will parents realise that their responsibilities towards their children do not stop if they decided to leave. Parents not financially supporting their children should be a criminal offence. It is dismissed far too easily. And then children and loan parents are left to suffer with the burden of poverty. It is shameful that in our so called civilised society it is still okay to bring children into this world and then financially abandon them.
Kelly, london, uk
The Fact that the mother was about to lose some of her benefits didn't have anything to do with it, then?
If the two ladies wanted these babies, why isn't the Ex paying for her children?
So much for equality between the sexes, another farce from New Labour!
suzyn, essex, UK