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The firefighter who donated sperm to a lesbian couple has been acting as a full-time father and should rightly be asked to pay child support, the children’s mother said yesterday.
Terri Arnold, who has separated from her partner, Sharon Arnold, spoke out after Andy Bathie, 37, said that he had been assured by the couple that he would have no personal or financial involvement in the children’s upbringing. He is now being pursued by the Child Support Agency for maintenance.
Ms Arnold retorted that Mr Bathie had wanted to get involved. “What people don’t understand is that they have only heard one side of the story,” she told GMTV. “He was a father to the children, a dad. He played a father’s role for two years of their, well, my daughter’s life.”
Ms Arnold had two children by Mr Bathie – a girl, aged 2, and a boy, 4, who is disabled. She said that the initial arrangement was for him to be a donor only. “I will openly admit to that, but it was him that changed his mind. He wanted to be involved, he wanted to be a dad. Who was I to stop him? I believed it would be beneficial for my children to have their father involved.”
Far from never seeing his daughter, the fireman, from Enfield, North London, was in regular contact and looked after her one weekend every month, Ms Arnold said. “Every time she needed something he was there. He paid for things, he helped me out.”
She said that Mr Bathie had not wanted to go on the birth certificate and emphasised that she would be pursuing the case even if she and her partner were still together. “He walked away. He knew full well. It is not like the CSA contacted him out of the blue. My son was diagnosed with a disability after he was born. [Mr Bathie] was still seeing my daughter on a regular basis. I couldn’t return to work because of my son being in hospital so much. I was then informed by the CSA that if I did not give the father’s details then my income support would be cut down, and I wouldn’t be able to afford to live.”
Mr Bathie said yesterday that he could not afford to have children with his own wife because of the financial implications of child support. He is now campaigning for a change in the law to stop him being recognised as the legal parent. “I am already paying for a family . . . I’m not a highflying City banker,” he said.
Ms Arnold said she was surprised at Mr Bathie’s desire for his own children. “That’s funny, because just before he stopped seeing his daughter he informed us that he and his girlfriend at the time did not want children.”
Mr Bathie, who did not donate sperm through a clinic, was contacted by the CSA last year about payments. He said yesterday: “I still even now don’t see why I should have to pay for another couple’s children.”
Only men who donate sperm through licensed fertility clinics are not considered the legal father of any child born as a result of a donation. The CSA said that a child would have to be legally adopted for a biological parent to escape financial responsibility.
Ministers have drawn up fertility reforms giving equal parenting rights to same-sex couples who enter a civil partnership, which means that they will be recognised as the legal parents of children conceived through sperm donation. The change has come too late for Mr Bathie.
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