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However, opponents are sceptical since all the families volunteered and so were self-selecting. Christine Whipp, of the action group Tangled Webs, which challenges donor conception practices, believes that if told early, donor offspring can be “brainwashed by their parents into believing that they have not been short-changed, but biological relationships do matter”.

Whipp believes that the removal of donor anonymity does not protect children from the intrinsic injustices: “Why should the child be held hostage for 18 years, denied a relationship with one of its parents, just to satisfy the whims of adults?” Tangled Webs claims that donor conception practices contravene the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. It wants future legislation to provide offspring with retrospective access to information about their biological/genealogical parentage.

Until that comes to pass, Whipp urges all donors to register on UK DonorLink, a pilot voluntary contact register, set up to enable people, their donors and half-siblings to exchange information and, if desired, to contact each other.

So, does the T-shirt slogan express the voice of the donor child, or is it wishful thinking by parents who seek to dismiss donor origins as no big deal? Elizabeth Marquardt believes it is the latter. “We cannot assume that donor offspring easily forget about their biological parents just because the adults in their lives want them to. Banning donor anonymity is a good step, but it’s not enough. Our culture needs a serious debate about the implications of technologies used to form many of today’s alternative families, one that places the interests of the resulting children front and centre.”

‘I felt like a sordid secret transaction’

Christine Whipp, 52, from Devon, received a letter from her estranged mother ten years ago telling her that she had been conceived using donor sperm. She felt cheated and believes that donor conception denied her the possibility of having a loving relationship with either parent.

“I had guessed that there was some big secret around my identity but it was a complete surprise – I hadn’t even been aware that donor conception was available in the 1950s. Nonetheless, it made complete sense of everything. I had always felt that my mother viewed me as second best – not the baby she really wanted. Now I understood why. When she looked at me she saw a stranger and it affected our relationship until she died.

“At 41, I had to reassess my life. I felt like a sordid secret transaction, something my mother would have been ashamed of. I felt short-changed and I mourn that I didn’t have the chance to grow up knowing my real father. It took me nine years to trace him by which time he was dead.

“Now I have regular contact with one of his sons and that has been incredibly reaffirming but nothing can make up for the years that I have lost.

“There has never been any attempt to analyse how donor offspring are best served. Reproductive technologies are viewed as a success if a bouncing baby is produced, but that is no guarantee of a happy-ever-after.”

I know that ‘daddy’ means love, not sperm

Susannah Merricks, 21, from Nottingham, was conceived using a donor. Her parents were open with her from the outset. “I don’t remember when I was told that I was donor-conceived. The information was just always around and I accepted it as normal. It was always an open subject: I could ask questions. Consequently, it has not been a big issue.

“If I had found out by accident it would have been very different and I know it would have damaged my relationship with my parents. I really respect them for letting go of their own feelings and focusing on the needs of their children and our right to know.

“If parents hide the truth it seems to imply that it is something to be ashamed of. I never felt ashamed and have always been happy to tell people if the topic arises. It actually made me feel special and interesting. I liked being different.

“There has never been a question about who my father is: a father is someone who loves and raises you. I have always known that ‘daddy’ means love and not sperm. I respect my dad for being able to face up to his infertility.

“I am registered on UK DonorLink and would be interested in information about my biological father, but I don’t spend a great deal of time thinking about it. It would be a waste of energy. Donor insemination is important, because it’s about half of my genetic background, and yet it’s not important at all.”

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