School
Gate blog: How to get your child into the school of your choice
Last term, just before the summer exams, my 12-year-old son started
hyperventilating. “I can't write these exams,” he gasped, between sobs.
“Everyone is doing three hours work a day and I don't know anything.” I'm
afraid it was at that point I decided he was at the wrong school. This term
he's wearing a different uniform.
At the end of this month, the parents of roughly 600,000 Year 6 children will
have to make the decision I took two years ago and select a state secondary
school. They will almost certainly have visited half-a-dozen science labs
and sports pitches, mustered their long-forgotten maths to plough through
carefully edited A-level statistics, read the Ofsted reports and listened
attentively to the polished speeches of a clutch of head teachers. There's
no doubt, however, that many of them will still be uncertain about the
choice before them. It's a choice that becomes even more complicated for
parents if the current pressure on finances is also forcing them to consider
state schools rather than private schools.
“Selecting a school is always a bit of a lottery,” says Dr Anthony Seldon, the
headmaster of Wellington College in Berkshire, who has become known for
championing pupil well-being. “Even the best and happiest school won't suit
every child. You can never factor in the peer group and the way that peer
group will be affected by the culture of the school.”
As an education specialist who mulled over the dilemma for years before
sending my younger boy to the school he desperately wanted to go to, I
certainly feel that I made a serious mistake, and I know of at least five
children who started Year 7 at one school and will be taking their GCSEs at
another.
In the competitive rush for what are commonly considered the “best schools”,
it's often difficult to remain clear-sighted about the character of your
child and your family values. There are, however, certainly priorities that
go well beyond league tables and five-star facilities.
“You have to do your best to match your child with the school,” says Seldon.
“Consider whether there will be too much pressure or too little, whether he
or she might want more art or sport, or less. Think about whether the school
may be too large and amorphous or, on the other hand, too intimate.” And the
amount of homework, the attitude to exams, the distance from home and the
approach to discipline can all prove breaking points.
No doubt the parents of the former newspaper editor Dominic Lawson felt they'd
got it right by sending him to Eton College, one of the world's most
celebrated schools. But, as he later recalled, they had made a serious
miscalculation. “I absolutely hated it. I wasn't bullied by the other boys
or beaten by a perverted teenager. I just found the whole atmosphere
oppressive. I had come from a school that had only one rule: boys below the
age of 13 were not allowed to wear jeans. Eton seemed to consist of nothing
but rules and regulations, most of which seemed either incomprehensible or
unnecessary, or both.” Fortunately for Lawson, his parents quickly
transferred him to a more liberal establishment.
When the right school goes wrong
Joanna McIntyre, 43, a television producer, decided to remove her son Joseph,
now aged 15, from one of London's most sought-after comprehensives when she
realised that the role she was expected to play by the school was not one
she felt happy to perform. “Jo's behaviour wasn't dreadful, but he was
completely uninterested in studying and we were becoming increasingly
anxious. It became clear that the school expected us to act the hard cop and
make him work, but we're basically laissez faire. We also both work full
time and couldn't be home every day at 3.30pm to force him to do his
homework.”
Even when parents recognise that something is not quite right, they tend to
tolerate the situation until some defining moment. For McIntyre, that moment
came at a parent-teacher meeting in Year 8. “One of Jo's favourite teachers
said to us, Look, we have this problem all the time. Really clever boys come
to our school and sometimes we just lose them. It's up to him'. That made us
decide we had a choice: either we could do nothing and hope for the best, or
we could bankrupt ourselves.” In the end bankruptcy won, and the McIntyres
sent
Jo to a small, independent school, a decision they have never regretted. “He
had several nights of real agony, but within two days, he came home and
said, I'm so glad you did this'.”
Many parents, of course, will decide to stick it out in the hope that things
will improve, and, of course, sometimes they do. Sara Ramsay's daughter
Gemma won a scholarship to an independent school in Leeds and also a place
at her first-choice comprehensive. The Ramsays settled on the comprehensive,
but the first year certainly tested their decision.
“We want her to be happy and she wasn't. She coped badly with the transition
from a small, nurturing primary to a large comprehensive. At several points
she asked if she could leave, but we felt she had to learn to fight her own
battles. It's part of growing up and preparing for the big, bad world. She
recently started Year 8 and is much happier now.”
When should a parent take action?
So, if things appear to be going pear-shaped, how long do you leave it before
taking action? “By and large children settle down quickly,” says Ralph
Lucas, the editor of The Good Schools Guide. “But children can also put a
brave face on it. The thing is to keep a close eye on how they are
reacting.” A good school will, of course, try to sort out problems, but the
wisest heads and teachers generally realise that a change may sometimes be
the only option.
“My son had been miserable for two years,” says Jane Wells, whose son Andrew
moved schools in Year 9. “We had been in a number of times to work things
out. Finally, I couldn't stand the nightly crying any more. When I went to
see the head to say that I was taking him out, he was very sympathetic. He
knew that the school had failed to resolve the issues.”
Even after you've made the decision to move, however, you will almost
certainly feel some regrets - though only for a while. Last week my son set
off in the morning, saying: “Bye Mum, we have a really fun day today.” Those
were the words I'd always wanted to hear.
Lisa Freedman contributes to The Good Schools Guide and runs the educational
advisory service At The School Gates (www.attheschoolgates.co.uk
)
From private to state
Conventional wisdom has it that private education is the last item of
expenditure that parents will cut back on in times of recession. Schooling
is a long-term commitment, requiring years of forward planning and parents
are unlikely to pull their children out the moment money gets tight. If
only.
When Britain last plunged into recession in 1991, the number of pupils in
private schools fell by 1,200 within 12 months and by a further 9,300 over
the next six years. While many parents plan ahead and set up school fee
savings plans, a significant proportion pay the fees direct from their
income. And when their income dries up, families may be forced to switch
their children to a state school - often at short notice.
This was the case for nine-year-old Olivia Menges, from Beckenham, Kent. Last
month she enrolled at Unicorn School, her local state primary, after
spending three years at an independent school, Sydenham High, where annual
fees are more than £9,000. As is often the case, the move was as difficult
for her parents as it was for Olivia. “At the time, her mother and I thought
we had really let her down. It was a hard decision because she was so
settled where she was,” says her father Nick, 38, a property sales
negotiator, whose income has fallen suddenly and significantly since the
property market froze. “It was a big wrench. But in the end economic reality
had to outweigh sentiment.”
Although the Menges's had no long-term plan for paying Olivia's school fees,
they had moved to an area with good schools, just in case. “Our main concern
in switching her to a state school was whether the standards would be high
enough but we have not been disappointed. She is being challenged and finds
the homework difficult,” Menges says.
Tips for moving from a secondary independent school to a state school
Prepare your child as best you can Take your child to visit the new
school to give him or her an idea about accepted levels of behaviour and
dress (if ties are always worn short, your son/daughter may feel rather
silly if they turn up on Day 1 with a tiny knot and a tie that tucks in to
their waistband).
Make sure you get a meeting with your child's new form teacher or the
head of year. Explain the reason your child is joining the school and make
sure they know about your child's individual needs.
Class sizes There are about half a million children in independent
schools and about 7.5 million in the state sector in England. Class sizes
are generally bigger in the state sector. Explain this to your child. It
won't necessarily mean they get less attention, but it can mean a difference
in the way lessons are delivered.
Check the curriculum Find out what subjects are on offer. Independent
schools often offer a wider range, particularly foreign languages and
separate sciences, so your child may have to give up a favourite class or
you might need to make special arrangements for your child to continue with
a subject out of school.
Extra-curricular activities There may be different extra-curricular
activities on offer at the new school. In recent years, there have been
substantial increases in the availability for such sports as orienteering,
cycling, golf, canoeing and archery in the state sector.
ALEXANDRA FREAN
Additional research by Claire McDonald
Time for a fresh start?
List your child's personality traits and the school's values
If, for example, the head says, “We're looking for boys happy to play rugby on
a wet Wednesday while it's hailing”, and you know your son prefers reading
quietly in the library, perhaps you should look elsewhere. Try to be as
honest with yourself as you can.
If problems arise, talk it through
You will soon work out the cause and what can be done.
When it's time to move on
It's normally easier to move from one independent school to another or from a
state to a private school than from one state school to another.
You have the right to change schools
You can apply for any school at any time of year and if it has a place it has
to admit your child. If not, you can appeal. Currently, local authorities
deal with admissions for community schools and academies, while faith
schools and voluntary aided schools deal with their own. The Government is
considering changing the law so that all school admissions are administered
by local authorities.
LISA FREEDMAN
