Sejal Patel’s adopted son shares the same Indian and Hindu background as her, her husband and their entire extended family. She feels passionately that a child’s cultural identity must be respected when it comes to adoption.

When he came to live with the family after a year with white foster-carers, the lawyer from North London is convinced that her son was already suffering identity problems, even though he was just 2 years old.

“He had found it hard to adjust to the foster family. His first language is Gujarati, so they struggled to understand him. That meant a huge change in his behaviour when he came here, and we could speak to him. The second thing we noticed was how much he enjoyed our food. The foster parents had really tried and bought the food he knew. But they hadn’t been very good at cooking it and he didn’t know how to eat it. We eat with our hands, and he was eating with a knife and fork,” Mrs Patel said.

But the most important thing is that he totally blends in with the entire extended family. “He doesn’t look any different from anyone. No one is saying ‘that’s the one who is adopted’. And I really believe family members bonded with him far more easily as a result. I felt during his year with the foster family he knew he did not quite fit in.”

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