My daughter, who is 5, has been learning about money at school. Where once she used to see the penny jar on the shelf simply as an excellent source of noise and mess, she now surveys it with a different kind of interest. She knows that it contains money, she knows that money buys things, and she knows that those things can, if she is lucky, be toys.

Quite how much money is required for any individual object of desire (currently a High School Musical lunchbox bearing a picture of Troy) she doesn't yet know, but it's only a matter of time. Soon we will have to tackle the thorny subject of pocket money: how much, how often and in return for what.

Aside from the straightforward problem of when you should introduce hard cash into the parent/child relationship, there is the question of how much. It's a subject that can be extremely divisive, not just within families or between generations but also with friends. If your friend's children each get a tenner a week and have all the latest Wii this and Wii that, it makes weekends and play-dates very frustrating indeed. You look either puritanical or stingy, or both; and the friends get paranoid that you think they are too materialistic. There are jibes, silent recriminations and endless car journeys home that start with the words, “but so-and-so's mummy says she can have...”.

However, now that we are in the opening stages of what looks to be a lengthy downturn, the issue is no longer just a moral one; it's a practical one, too. It is no longer a question of “how much is right” but “how much can we spare”. Last week, the Guide Association issued advice to its members on how to manage money in the credit crunch. Tips include avoiding store cards and fashion fads, and not relying on parents for handouts.

It could be a prescient move. A recent survey by the independent researcher and social psychologist Dr Alicia Renedo for NatWest Adapt, a bank account for 11 to 18-year olds, has thrown up some interesting statistics on how parents view the function of pocket money. Of almost 1,300 parents of children aged between 11 and 18, two thirds believed that pocket money should help to cover daily expenses, including essential items such as school clothing, books, stationery and even travel fares. In other words, pocket money is no longer for little luxuries. It is for life's essentials.

According to Dr Renedo, this represents a cultural shift: a move away from pocket money as primarily recreational to a more American-style system of allowances, which is all about teaching children the value of money. “The recession - and the subsequent drop in disposable incomes - has been one of the main triggers for this,” says Dr Renedo, “combined with the return of that age-old complaint that children don't appreciate the value of money.”

After years at the mercy of pester power, it seems that parents are finally putting their feet down. As a mother who spends most weekends fending off requests for fripperies (the latest playground craze is something called Gogos, a series of small plastic monsters that children are encouraged to collect), I can heartily sympathise with this trend.

For Maureen Hart, a sales and marketing expert for a bridal company, her rethink was driven by changes to the household finances in April last year. After a period of illness she decided to give up her lucrative freelance career and, sensing the economic mood, accept a more secure staff job. “Our income dropped by about £1,800 a month,” she says. “We went from having a large disposable income to needing to plan and save for treats.”

Although she is successful in her career, Hart describes herself as “really, really bad” when it comes to spending money on her children. She never really said no to Charlie, 17, and Molly, 12. Then, when the family's finances shrank, she felt that it was time to re-educate her children about money. “I didn't want them to have the same attitude as me,” she says. It was Hart's mother's straitened financial circumstances that led to her tendency to overcompensate with cash. “My mum was a single parent,” she explains. “No money, two jobs. I can remember how awful I felt as a child having to ask her for money for a school trip or something, knowing that she barely had enough to keep a roof over our heads. My brother and I had tokens for school dinners and uniforms: it was humiliating. I never wanted my children to feel that way.”

This was never a problem while times were good. It wasn't until she took a pay cut that she realised how her desire to offer her children the kind of life on which she missed out threatened to leave them ill-equipped for any future fluctuations.

At first she was concerned at how Charlie and Molly would react to the new regime; but in the event she was pleasantly surprised. “The children have coped really well,” she says. “Molly is good at saving, and I feel confident that they both understand money now. I would never ask them to pay for their own school uniforms, but if Molly wants a really expensive school bag I don't think it's unreasonable for me to pay the price of a standard one, and for her to make up the difference from her own pocket.”

In place of regular and almost unlimited handouts, both children now get a fixed allowance of £15 a month, although Charlie tops up his with a job as a waiter, and Molly earns extra for dog-walking.

“Some of my friends have a lot of money and get everything they want,” says Molly. “But I also have a friend who says that her mum turns her purse upside down and nothing is in it except credit cards. We are in the middle, I think - not really well off and not really doing without.”

Parents such as Maureen Hart may be reining in at long last, but in many cases the change is as much about attitudes as about the bottom line. If you compare the monthly average pocket money figures for 2005 with those for 2008, you find that the amount has risen from £24.50 to £51 a month. Crucially, though, the returns expected have also increased.

Karen Lambert, a nurse, has two sons, 14-year-old Matt and Tom, 17. The eldest has a job and pays his own way for all extras. Matt's allowance has risen slightly, but he must pay for travel and meals out as well as elements of his school uniform.

Often the money doesn't come free, either. Many of the families surveyed adhered to the American idea of having to do “chores” in return for pocket money. It may not be popular with children but it does help to instil a good work ethic.

My mother used to give me pocket money in exchange for doing the ironing - but if I did a rush job and the pillowcases weren't properly pressed, I didn't get paid. It wasn't enough to play at doing a job; it had to be done for real: vital training for any career.

Recently, canny politicians with an eye for a good headline have been calling for lessons in the value of money to be added to the curriculum. There may indeed be some merit in this. But there is only so much that already overworked teachers can do.

The real responsibility for how the next generation deals with cash and credit alike lies, as ever, with us as parents. These are important lessons, both for the current climate and for whatever lurks ahead.

Times recommends

• Are eldest children really a cut above?
• Peaches Geldof: censored
• Top 10 style-setting films of all time