Tim Rushby-Smith
Win tickets to the ATP finals
Being in a wheelchair can be an ice-breaker. When I am out and about, I am conspicuous, and no more so than when I take Rosalie to the park. Sometimes it’s people offering assistance when I’m putting her on the swings or helping her on the climbing frame or just a warm smile as we wheel past.
There are times when the attention feels a little patronising, as if I am a novelty, and “Isn’t it great, the way he copes with taking her out and everything?”. I don’t mind too much. For me, taking Rosalie out on my own is a way of showing the world that I’m still independent, still in control of my life.
When I was undergoing rehabilitation at Stoke Mandeville following my accident, with Penny five months pregnant, it felt inconceivable that I would regain such a level of independence. This thought was made even more painful by the prospect of imminent parenthood.
But now Rosalie is nearly four and we do go out together. I think she may even like the extra attention. The other day I was wheeling her back from the local shop when we passed a little girl walking along with her mum. As I rolled past she yelled out, “Hello, Rosalie’s Dad,” and I realised that I must be the most conspicuous parent at the nursery.
There are other occasions when standing out in this way is less appealing. Recently I was in the high street with Rosalie when a man who I will generously describe as “eccentric” decided to marvel at — and interrogate me about — my”"dismount from the car into my wheelchair”. He was perfectly cheerful and good natured, if a little drunk, but I could see that Rosalie was very uncomfortable with the attention, eventually burrowing into my lap in a gesture of shyness.
It’s a shame to lose a certain amount of anonymity, but the reality is that if we want to go and do stuff together there are going to be times when we do stand out. I have also observed a beam of pride coming from Rosalie when I am surrounded and interrogated by toddlers in the nursery playground.
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