IF WE ARE, as the war pundits tell us, living in times of imminent Armageddon, then the next big flood can’t be far away. This time, though, a modern Noah wouldn’t have it so easy. Imagine him, standing at the gangway of his garden-built ark . . .

“Elephants?” he might inquire of the young Shem.

“African and Indian,” the son would reply, ticking the box on his PalmPilot.

“Goats?”

“Angora and cashmere.”

“And dogs?”

“Loads, Dad. We’ve got labradoodles, schnoodles, yorkipoos, pomapekes and porkies. Oh, and don’t forget the cockapoos.”

“Who the hell do you think I am?” Noah might reply. “Bloody Hagrid?”

But Shem would just be doing his job. For these are real dogs, tailor-bred to suit every whim of today’s puppy buyer. Designer babies might still be a long way away, but designer dogs have arrived. Already huge in the US, they are crossing the pond fast.

“People are taking steps to produce the dog they want,” says Beverley Cuddy, editor of the magazine Dogs Today. “They might think, ‘There isn’t a breed that’s perfect for me, so I’d like to breed my own’.”

Carol Hurst, from Chester-le-Street, Co Durham, has been breeding labradoodles for four years. “They’re lovely dogs,” she says. “Very clever, very peaceful. They usually go to outdoorsy, upper-middle-class families who have kids with allergy problems.”

The labradoodle is something of a pioneer among designer dogs. Originally bred more than 30 years ago in Australia, your average labradoodle has standard poodle mother and a labrador father.

“Poodles can have a hereditary problem with bad skin, and labradors can often have weak hips,” Hurst says. “If you crossbreed in the right way, then you can get the good without the bad.”

Times recommends

• Tewkesbury: when the memories flood back
• How I lost the gift of joy for a while
• The A-Z of winter style rules