And now, sometimes when I’m feeling down or stressed, I’ll find myself gazing lovingly at pictures of alpacas on my computer screen – alpaca porn, if you like – or reading about them on one of the growing number of websites run by enthusiasts and farmers all over the world. “Maya,” reads the picture caption on one such site, “greeting Rosebud’s little grey male, Pirate Jack Sparrow… Here’s she saying, ‘No, don’t get up,’ enjoy your dust roll.”

Alpacas are apparently very good-natured creatures: “Gentle, elegant, inquisitive, intelligent and observant,” according to Wikipedia. And while they certainly raise the spirits, they are also rather useful, having been bred for thousands of years in the Andes of Peru, Bolivia and northern Chile. Smaller than their relative, the llama, alpacas can’t be used as beasts of burden; sadly, they can, however, be eaten, in stews. But it is for their wool – which comes in no fewer than 22 natural colours – that they are most prized. And you don’t need to cross the Atlantic to get it. A company called Tinku (www.tinku.co.uk) does a nice line in hats, gloves, jumpers and scarves made from Bolivian alpaca wool and woven by hand.

I’m having to face the fact that owning a snuggly jumper might be as close as I get to having alpacas (you must have more than one, as they’re so social), in this life at least. It would be wrong, surely, to try to raise alpacas on the balcony of a flat in Hoxton. But those looking for late belated presents could do worse than visit www.oxfam.org.uk, where an “Alpaca Package” can be bought for £20. The money goes towards shelter and food for alpacas in South America, thereby making an alpaca happy, not to mention its owner. After all, an alpaca is for life, not just for Christmas.

coolhunter@thetimes.co.uk

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