Dries's dirty laundry

How can a designer compete with the latest trend for runway gimmicks? Well if you're Dries van Noten you show everyone your dirty laundry. Instead of an opaque screen to mask all the hissy fits and express clothes' changes backstage, van Noten decided to let it all hang out thanks to a transparent screen. Unsurprisingly it was a suitably calm and diva-free display (well he had been planning this for months) but the question begs, does an audience really want to witness naked flesh and do the models really want to display their bare bottoms? Doubtful.

Most random appearance of the week

Barry from EastEnders (otherwise known as Shaun Williamson). Ur, what? Yes, you heard right. And was he with Janine? Well no, but he was with a TV crew. The rumour is he's filming an Extra's-style spoof of the fashion industry for the BBC, with a stand-up show to top off Paris fashion week.

Most bizarre invitation of the week

Alexander McQueen's featured a painting of a naked woman gyrating against the face of a cartoon moon. Well you wouldn't put anything past the man who constructed a Kate Moss hologram. I wonder what the clothes are going to be like.

Most unlikely appearance on the front row

Lily Allen. Paris pret-a-porter might not seem the obvious choice for the girl whose greatest donation to the fashion world was high top trainers, but Lily's already been spotted at the Cacharel show and is rumoured to put in a star turn at YSL and Chanel. Watch this space for Lagerfeld's next muse.

Ungaro show

Oh dear, you knew there wasn't much hope when the programme notes at the Ungaro said, 'I love to go clubbing'. Cue a tirade of 80's backless dresses, layers of chiffon and more polkadots than a field of toadstools.

Copyright kerfuffle

The Chambre Syndicale, the body who control the shows in Paris, have caused consternation amongst photographers by asking them to sign an agreement that says copyright over their photos will belong to the designers. Could it be a move to prevent the high street making cheap copies of their designs? More to the point, does that mean no more designer ‘inspired’ accessories for those of us on a budget?

French dressing

Paris might be known as The City of Light, but the Parisians’ dress sense tends towards black, black and more black. The fashion crowd have toned down their style accordingly, opting for yes, black, a hint of tasteful camel and trenches. Let’s hope they don’t take the themed dressing too far. Please, no berets or stripy tops.

Bagwatch

The YSL Downtown bag in black or white patent is starting to look like the essential front row accessory (35 spotted at the Dior show) while metallic bags are also holding their own.

Jingle jangle

Yes, we have noticed that fashion is moving towards a more streamlined look, but don’t chuck away your trinkets just yet. The Balenciaga show must have sounded like the percussion section of an orchestra behind the catwalk music, there were so many jangly chains and trinkets.

Readymade outfits

Readymade outfits seem to be taking off. Martin Margiela fused fabrics to create the impression of a skirt over tights, when in fact they were made from the same material, while Junya Watanbe combined a leather jacket and a skirt. Are the designers subtly saying the fashion crowd need help co-ordinating their outfits?

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