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I met Issy at a friend’s wedding in Salisbury Cathedral. I was standing outside when this extraordinary girl walked by. I told her I liked her hat. She told me she liked my jacket. My grandfather was a Sri Lankan ambassador and I was wearing one of his, trimmed with gold brocade. So the hat and coat got together, as it were, and we loved one another from that moment until last week, when Issy died.
I have been overwhelmed by all the tributes to her and Issy would have been thrilled to know how highly she was regarded. Geordie Greig, the editor of Tatler, said she “was without doubt one of the great figures of fashion in the 20th century”.
Issy always looked amazing, but inside she was very insecure and lacking in self-confidence. But no one had her judgment or her wonderful eye: she spotted the milliner Philip Treacy and the designer Alexander McQueen long before anyone else.
She saw the extraordinary beauty in models Sophie Dahl and Honor Fraser and Stella Tennant (though technically Plum Sykes, who was Issy’s assistant, found Stella – Issy had asked her to round up some beautiful society friends). It annoys me when people call Issy eccentric – to me that describes the sort of person who eats goldfish. She worked every day. She didn’t care a thing about turning up on time, but she never stopped thinking about her work and how to be creative.
I was entranced by her from the start. I invited her to dinner – she turned up in a silver skirt and a bandana with her little feet in Manolo Blahniks – then down to the country for the weekend. I had a girlfriend at the time who was jealous and looking daggers at me. In Gloucestershire we went for walks and Issy told me she loved the countryside.
The next day I rang her and said I was coming up to London to get my hair cut. When we met I told her: “I don’t want to have an affair with you, I want to marry you.” That was 16 days after we met. She said yes straight away.
People were amazed because though I was exotic and bohemian I was quite rural. The Blows’ glory days were gone and we were pretty much hillbillies. I said to Issy that I hardly ever got girlfriends and she said: “That’s because you don’t have a fast car and take cocaine.” But she didn’t seem to mind.
When I first met Issy my sense was, “Wow, you’ve got talent”. But she didn’t realise that. She hung around with a lot of beautiful people but they weren’t talented, they were rich. I saw myself as giving her a platform. So we set up home in London and she loved the idea of becoming a patroness.
My mother had a run-down house in Belgravia. Issy had met Philip Treacy around the same time as me and he was soon installed in the basement, followed later by Alexander McQueen. So she could do something to really help the people she believed in.
Philip was still a student at the Royal College of Art then and the first thing he showed her was a green felt hat with jagged, crocodile teeth edges. She wore his hats ever after, hats in the shape of lobsters or sailing ships.
She spotted Alexander McQueen in 1993. She went around championing him and people laughed, saying he made theatre clothes. But she knew how talented he was.
In 1996, when he got the job of head designer at Givenchy, she was delighted. We saw him after one of his Paris shows and she said: “I expect you’ve seen lots of people like me today,” and he said: “Issy, there’s no one like you.”
Issy went to work for Anna Wintour at Vogue. It made me laugh last week when Anna said she’d never been good at getting in before 11am, but then she’d turn up dressed as a maha-raja or an Edith Sitwell figure. But she was frustrated. You can’t really be creative working in an office. That’s what she really loved later on about working at The Sunday Times. Nobody expected to see her in the office, they wanted her out there, looking for talent.
Everything was going well for her at work but Issy wanted a child and when we tried, nothing happened. She went through IVF but it didn’t work. There was nothing wrong with Issy and nothing wrong with me. It just didn’t happen. She said we were like two exotic fruits who couldn’t breed.
So that was very hard for her. And she always carried a burden from her childhood. She was the granddaughter of Sir Jock Delves Broughton, who was acquitted of murdering the Earl of Erroll in the notorious White Mischief case. When she was four her two-year-old brother brother died in a freak accident.
It was a nice sunny afternoon, her mother was going upstairs to put lip-stick on, her father was laying out the drinks, people were coming round for drinks, and her brother fell into the swimming pool and drowned. It finished her parents’ marriage pretty much.
Later on when her mother walked out – when Issy was 14 – she shook Issy and her sister by the hand and said goodbye. When Issy died she hadn’t seen her mother for eight years. After she left, Issy’s stepmother arrived with her stepsisters and Issy was more or less told, “You’re out”. So she had a lot to deal with.
During her twenties she was super-insecure. I tried to give her confidence, but Issy had no love from her parents and that’s really difficult. I don’t have children, but I know they need love, the sort of love I had from my parents. So that was the root of her depression later on. It’s no secret that she tried to kill herself with pills and car crashes and jumping off bridges.
She once called the National Trust and found out where Virginia Woolf’s house was, intending to end her life there. She rang them up and they said the river didn’t have any water in it. So having failed to do a Virginia Woolf, she tried to do an Anna Karenina. It was difficult to live with, but I loved her and I was well trained: my father suffered depression and killed himself when I was 13. Very talented people often suffer problems. It’s the price one pays.
Then last year she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I’d guessed something was wrong and brought her down to the country. When the blood tests came back they were inconclusive, but when they opened her up she was riddled with it.
Last Saturday I brought her downstairs where she could look out onto the fields. On Sunday she took a turn for the worse. She said: “I love you,” but there was no great speech. She was fighting for breath. She knew she wanted to die and it seems she helped things along [preliminary toxicology reports suggest she drank Paraquat, the weedkiller].
My life will go on, but in a way I can’t imagine: I’ve become addicted to drama. Issy will stay in everyone’s memory. I sent my business partner a message saying she had died. He texted back: “Long live Queen Isabella.”
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I had the pleasure of meeting both Issy & Detmar Blow back in 1999.....I was Issy's personal manicurist for about a year, often invited to her home that both she & Detmar then shared at Waterloo. 2 more genuine & beautiful caring people you'd find hard to match......Issy had [as Detmar says] many issues from her past to deal with plus the attitudes of many ignorant people around her....everyday people that never even knew her ridiculed the hats she wore, causing her to tell me one day, that she would stop wearing them.
Perhaps having God in her life would have helped. But the fact remains that the troubles she faced were well established in her life before she even entered adult hood.
Religion helps, but it doesn't remove all of the pain & anguish that one may need to cope with. People that never knew Issy, don't even have a right to an opinion about her life or what made her tick. Some people are just too good for this world. Issy was one of them. I'll miss you Issy, very much. XXXX
Lorraine, London, United Kingdom
I empathize with Mr. Detmar Blow on the loss of his dear wife, Isabella. However, the life of grief that they both endured is as a result of the missing link between them and God. Though they wined and dined with the people that mattered in the society, the experience had left them hollow. The body, the Bible says, is more than raiment (cloth). Manâs life thrives only when it returns to the Saviour Jesus Christ. This is via the genuine salvation experience, which is achieved only by the acceptance of oneself as a sinner, confession of oneâs sin (not to the reverend father, but to God), and asking for Godâs forgiveness through Christ Jesus. Only then can life be truly meaningful; and when there are problems, Christ becomes the anchor for the soul, for no man has any right to commit murderâincluding self murder, like Isabella had done. Accept my heartfelt sympathy, Mr. Blow.
Eunice, Lagos, Nigeria
I empathise with Detmar Blow over the loss of his wife, Isabella. However, how their life was and concluded is a graphic case of a life without Jesus Christ. The typical bourgeoisie has not heard the message of salvation: making one's way right with God by confession of one's sin (not to a reverend father) and asking Christ to come into one's life, receiving Him as Lord and Saviour, and trusting Him for daily victory over sin and satan.
The pampering of the flesh, and being in the circle of the movers and shakers of the society cannot secure a man's soul. Only Jesus can. And this is not religion but the way to life.
Eunice, Lagos, Nigeria
Isn't it scandalous that someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness has to resort to weedkiller when she decides that she wants to go? Surely it is time we made better, more dignified choices available to intelligent and self- aware people in this situation.
elaine hunt, oxford, UK
Mr. Blow, you have brought me to tears with your love and eloquence. Her sadness could have only been matched by the joy you brought to her life.
I passed Mrs. Blow once, crossing the street in Mayfair. It was a moment I'll never forget, seeing such an icon that I never expected to see with my own eyes.
Carmen, Nashville,
How wonderful that Isabella Blow's husband valued her true character and celebrated her every aspect. Though her depression must have been difficult to bear at times, it seemed to have helped to create an exquisite, multifacited woman.
Thank you, Detmar Blow, for sharing your love of your wife with us,
virginia, Birmingham, AL
Yes, a loving, perceptive tribute. I felt I knew her. It is wonderful to know she was so appreciated in her personal life. My heartfelt condolences to Mr. Blow.
elizabeth schumann, Paris, France
What a beautiful tribute from her husband who loved her so much
Kendra, Blackburn, England
Issy was certainly a life enhancer...terrifying at times and a total gem at others. Overall we admired her true indiviualism ,thank God there was someone like her around to bring in some artistic madness. She will be at peace now, and I hope you Detmar will be too, what ever happened in the past.love char faber marais
char faber marais, barcelon, spain
I was deeply impressed by the love story.Beautiful fashion stylist will be in our heart forever.My condolences to Detmar Blow.
Li Yan, Shanghai, China
May I add my condolences, I knew Issy just a little, and she was a remarkable, talented, special person, I was very shocked and sorry to hear that she had died.
Kim Bowen, Los Angeles, CA
Truly beautiful words from a man who did love the person behind Isabella Blow's fascinating character. My condolences to Detmar Blow. Hope you find peace of mind, support and time to get used to your new life. Think of the inmense honour you had for sharing with her so many valuable moments.
N, London,
Have always admired Isabella Blow from afar and always wished I could have been her. I never knew what was behind that mask, now I know I'm so sorry. My condolences to the writer.
C.S., London,
This was beautiful. I admire your courage and strength, you have done your wife proud.
Best wishes and a virtual hug.
bondy, London,