AGE DEFIANCE: PART 3: STYLE
Dressing your age isn’t what it was in our mothers’ day. It’s not even what it
was the other day. Good job, too. The idea that a style, an aesthetic or a
single item of clothing should become out of bounds simply because you cross
an invisible Rubicon was always suspect but nowadays, when women keep their
looks longer than any previous generation, it’s absurdly simplistic.
You don’t suddenly turn into a hobbit on your 36th birthday, so outlawing
miniskirts for the over-35s doesn’t make a lot of sense. I have a friend who
lacked confidence during her twenties. Circumstances changed, confidence
soared, the body is fabulous, and at 40 she started wearing short skirts.
She looks terrific.
This isn’t to say that your style shouldn’t evolve as you do. Probably the
single most ageing thing — apart from smoking, sunbathing, drinking, talking
endlessly about how much better things were in your day and, come to think
of it, ageing itself — is to plod into the dreaded Rut. This is where all
those “dressing their era” eventually find themselves, along with Joan
Collins (1980s Hooker) and Germaine Greer (1970s Baggy, Intellectual). The
Rut dates a woman more than any birth certificate. But where does that
elusive signature style (1970s New Wave Poet as championed by Patti Smith)
stop being desirable and start becoming an embarrassing deep, dark hole
filled with all the little make-up tricks and stylistic habits you learnt
when you were 17? When do the long, lustrous tresses that were your crowning
glory become about as alluring as tumbleweed? The answer is that sometimes
they don’t. A woman I know has shiny, conker-coloured hair cascading down
her back at 60.
Keeping up to date with the big picture in fashion is a good place to start
when it comes to tweaking — or revolutionising — your look. Fashion doesn’t
become less important as you get older, it becomes more. One of my personal
style mentors is Joan Burstein, the octogenarian owner of the influential
Browns fashion stores. Always extrapolating the shapes — knee-length,
loosely cut shifts, trouser and tunic tops in luxurious fabrics — from the
coolest designers (current favourites include Lanvin and Fendi), she is
eternally stylish, elegant and hip.
That doesn’t mean that everything that wafts down a catwalk is up for
consideration — but that’s true for many 20-year-olds. What we really mean
when we talk about dressing our age is dressing our shape. We mean not
showing too much flesh or looking tarty, both glaring misjudgments. Then
again, showing too much flesh — except on the beach — and tartiness are not
especially brilliant ideas at any age. If you want to be taken remotely
seriously post-university, then flashing breasts and thighs is not
recommended. As flesh ages, covering up a little more is the flattering
option. Strappy dresses do nothing for sagging skin, whereas a short or cap
sleeve, depending on the shape your biceps are in, can look so much better.
It’s a question of intelligent updates and regular evaluations.
Dressing your age is also about not committing the dreaded solecism of looking
ridiculous by advertising how desperate we are to look either much younger
than we are or much older (Kate Middleton before The Split). The ideal is to
look broadly content with where we are. In other words, when you’re a
teenager or in your early twenties, you should be experimenting like crazy.
In your seventies and eighties, you should be investing wisely. Not only
does it signal a life-affirming optimism, but this is the time to recognise
that you really are worth it — and to acknowledge that you don’t have to
endlessly justify what you spend — especially since a lot of so-called high
street bargains are not cut for mature women.
These are ideals. Sometimes we don’t develop the courage to experiment until
our thirties. That’s fine, provided that we have acquired some
self-knowledge — the kind that tells us that, while micro-skirts and minimal
maintenance are just about passable in youth, by the thirties, the
definition of miniskirt, for example, is starting to move south, and that
grooming is becoming a duty not just to oneself, but to fellow humans. If
your budget precludes splurges, vintage shops can be an excellent source of
well-made, beautifully cut clothes — and they’ll have the individuality to
help you to develop an interesting style of your own.
Between these extremes of youth and older age exist 1,001 calibrations. Some
are psychological — are you really going to argue that someone with Tina
Turner’s personality and presence shouldn’t wear a sequined flapper dress?
Some are physical — the reason she can still wear a sequined dress is
because she’s built like a triathlete. Others are related to lifestyle. A
lawyer’s wardrobe probably won’t have much in common with that of a media
planner.
Instead of thinking in terms of outlawed pleasures, dressing your age should
be a positive process of weeding out certain items that are past their — and
your — sell-by date. As twenties make way for thirties, so do the
fly-by-night make-up trends, the jokey jewellery and patchy grooming. In
comes a gradual recognition of who you are and what suits your body shape,
along with an Investment Bag, some tailored pieces, an excellent haircut and
a professional fitting in a proper lingerie department.
As thirties make way for forties, so do boho and chaotic layers. The excellent
haircut is adapted, the Good Investment Bag becomes several. Cheap shoes are
abandoned for good quality, but still edgy, ones. Shoes are one of the most
effective fashion updaters and, unless you go for extreme statements, the
scope for looking like a fashion victim is minimal. Making time to eat well
and exercise is no longer a luxury.
By your fifties, you are perfecting the art of buying less but buying better.
You know how to analyse trends and have learnt that in any given season,
only one or two will be relevant. Clothes that accentuate shape, rather than
reveal skin, are winners, nipped-in jackets and evening coats are all good
buys, as is real jewellery — a waste of time when you’re younger and hanging
out with friends who can’t tell the difference. You may want to change your
necklines, depending on how things are progressing in this area.
Sixties are about luxurious fabrics, playing with colour rather than sinking
into greige, hunting down quirky but classy accessories and, later on,
talking to your hairdresser about going grey gracefully.
By your seventies and eighties, you should really be enjoying clothes. Focus
attention around your face and wrists with necklines and bracelets, get
regular manicures, splash out on the status bag or suit you’ve always
wanted, keep reading the fashion pages and never succumb to elasticated
waistbands.
Age 16-25
Experiment while you can. Don’t dress too old (note, not like Katie Holmes
and Kate Middleton) and enjoy being girly (later on it just won’t work) with
bows, frills and quirky layering. If you’re not girly, then you can still
push your look to the extreme, whether you’re an indie, a punk or an emo.
Don’t be too calculated and enjoy the freedom to be mismatched — it’s not a
time to worry about subtlety.
Age 26-35
You can still have fun with clothes, but this is the time to learn how to
take young fashion into the workplace. Look for belted cardigans, mix
tailoring with soft fabrics, invest in one nice piece of jewellery and buy a
good, but not too flashy, handbag.
Age 36-45
Girly no longer works, but don’t go too far the other way. Start tidying up
the look with clean lines, but you can still go casual in nice jeans and a
good cashmere knit. If by your mid-forties you can’t give up the short
skirts, then wear them with opaque tights and flat shoes. Buy a good winter
coat and don’t scrimp on the shoes and bags.
Age 46-55
Go for good quality separates that really flatter your figure. Wear simple
blazers, stiffer fabrics for added structure (crisp shirts, pleat-front
trousers) and dresses. Sleek and pulled together is the look. Avoid cheap,
gimmicky jewellery and accessories, as well as “amusing” hair colours. It is
worth getting your colours done to learn which shades suit your complexion.
Age 56-65
You can still follow trends, but learn to do it more subtly. Accessories are
a great nod to a trend, a patent belt lifts an outfit without you having
dramatically to change your look. Choose longer sleeves for covering the
arms, and if your waist isn’t what it once was, then look for shapes that
skim rather than cling. Grooming becomes more important — make sure that
your hair is neat.
Age 65+
Have fun with large statement jewellery and find your glamorous side —
printed silk scarves, luxurious blouses, simple wide-legged trousers and
elegant evening wear. Look for opulent fabrics such as silk and velvet.
Dress up the accessories, it’s amazing what a sparkly clutch bag can do for
a simple outfit.
