FOR A GIRL

All sorts of things can go wrong when you buy a watch for the lady in your life, not least the watch itself, as Jemima Khan recently explained. When the pricey Officine Panerai, given to her two years earlier by a “boyfriend”, stopped working, she took it as a sign to end the relationship. The boyfriend could only be her recent ex, Hugh Grant, who wears a matching Panerai and is said to have given the same watch to his previous paramour Liz Hurley. One wonders if Khan would have stuck out the relationship a little longer if the warranty had stretched beyond the standard 24 months? More likely, she realised that everything about the gift, and, by extension, the relationship, was wrong. Watches, more than handbags or shoes, lend themselves well to symbolism. Giving Khan a watch that matched his own was not just corny, but a tad egocentric. Grant’s gift says more about him than it does about her - a classic mistake.

So, what should he have given her instead? At the very least, a different watch to the one he gave Hurley. Repeat presents smack of habit, not romance. Women appreciate thought, not routine spending. And, like Khan, most women look for meaning in a significant gift such as a watch, so make sure you are on message.

A watch can telegraph your intentions. Give her something by a blue-chip name - Patek Philippe, Girard-Perregaux, Vacheron Constantin - and it speaks of investment. It demonstrates how serious you are about her. A classic heritage piece - Cartier Tank, Jaeger-LeCoultre Reverso, Rolex Daytona, TAG Heuer Monaco - plays the legacy card. She wears it today, your children inherit it tomorrow.

If you are out to wow her, then go for a bejewelled piece. If a Chopard Happy Diamond is out of your price range, check out Christopher Ward (christopherward.co.uk ), which has sleek diamond-studded watches from £450. Choose well and it will act as a compliment. Give her an Hermès Cape Cod and you are saying she is modern, confident and chic. You could also play to her passions: if she is a hardcore fashion girl, then Dior’s Christal or Chanel’s J12 will thrill her. If you are cash-strapped, forget about status or heritage. Instead, buy something joyful, such as Juicy Couture’s charm-bracelet watch or Lacoste’s colourful everyday pieces - they’ll guarantee a smile.

By Claudia Croft

FOR A BOY

Technically speaking, Hugh Grant was right on point with his thing for Officine Panerai. It’s a brutishly handsome watch marque, once issued by the Italian navy. Nowadays, it is an integral element of the hedge-fund manager’s discreetly flash mufti. It’s also true that both boys and girls look sexy wearing oversized men’s wristwatches. (Elle Macpherson favours bulky men’s Rolex Explorers.) But his’n’hers? Oh dear, Hughie.

Pretty much anything male/female, matchy-matchy is unforgivably naff. It’s OK! magazine photoshoot territory. When buying a watch for a man, a girl’s mantra should be, “What would Victoria Beckham do?” - then do the opposite.

Giving a man a watch is a symbolic, romantic gesture.

Your man will be touched by such a generous gift, but for a desk-bound, action-starved, testosterone-charged male, the real romance of a watch lies in its provenance, historical context and eminent celebrity endorsement.

Not the fact that you engraved it with soppy pet names on the back.

The TAG Heuer Monaco, for instance, is desirable because the original was worn by Steve McQueen in the 1970 film Le Mans, while the Rolex Daytona edition, circa 1961, is nicknamed “the Paul Newman” because the actor wore it in the Indy-car racing film Winning.

The fact that the R&B divvy Usher is a fan of the Liberaceish, Damon Dash-owned Tiret brand doesn’t have the same effect. And, unless you are dating someone you call your “Boo”, with tramlines shaved into his eyebrows, stay away from diamond bezels.

If in doubt, says Danny Pizzigoni, of Royal Arcade Watches, the premier London watch boutique, a time-honoured pilot’s watch or something with a sexy motor-racing correlation will be well received. And there is no shame in secondhand. Arguably, these pieces have more wrist cred - instead of being all shiny and nouveau, they come across as aristocratic, preloaded with age and experience. We men like all that stuff.

Claudia Schiffer had the right idea when she purchased a rare secondhand Rolex Explorer for her husband, Matthew Vaughan, from Pizzigoni a few years ago. But the jeweller made sure she didn’t have the reverse engraved. “You have no idea how many times we’ve had men coming in here in the middle of a divorce, selling watches that have some message etched on to the back,” Pizzigoni says. “It usually contains the words ‘love’ and ‘for ever’.”

By Simon Mills

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