Are we a nation of slappers? Any Martian landing southwest of Windsor in the third week of June would probably think so, to judge by the acres of tangerine tan, heaving cleavage and split-to-the-thigh skirts paraded at each Royal Ascot. So, is news that the organisers are finally getting to grips with the sartorial plunge downmarket to be celebrated? Or are they po-faced members of the Establishment spoiling our fun?

I, for one, think the more rigorous guidelines are to be applauded. The “antichav” rules, as they have been called, will mean an end in the Royal Enclosure to halterneck tops, spaghetti straps, bare midriffs or shoulders, and skirts which sit higher than 2in above the knees.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that the Duke of Devonshire (the Queen’s representative) even needed to mention that knickers must be worn but not seen. The catwalks may be awash with maxi-dresses and prim, slim skirt suits, but here on Planet Corporate Hospitality Tent it’s a moot point how open to interpretation the modest “day dress” code has become.

I’m not just referring to the crimes against fashion. Surely, a judiciously placed bolero covering upper arms unacquainted with the tricep dip is a good thing. Ditto, a longer-cut top that goes some way to hiding the midriff full from the “chicken wrapped in Parma ham” lunch.

There’s also no denying what a difference an inch or two can make. On skirt lengths, you can wave goodbye to knobbly knees and dimply thighs and focus on those shapelier calves and a nicely turned ankle instead. As for straps, an inch-wide offers infinitely more support than the spaghetti version and won’t dig into burnt, untoned flesh. Shoestring straps also have the unfortunate effect of making everything else look bigger. There’s also the bra strap conundrum and, frankly, the plastic, supposedly see-through ones are just not chic.

Ascot-goers would do better to follow the example of its classier cousin, the Henley Royal Regatta, where female spectators don’t look like trussed-up turkeys but opt for looser, summery dresses that cover the knees, and floatier hats that don’t like look Cadbury’s Mini-Egg confections.

Times recommends

• The grim reality of life as an air stewardess
• 50 of the world's best design blogs
• Video: Georgia Jagger on fashion and her mum's clothes